Happy Kitty

I got to see Z today, and she couldn’t get enough of my attention. 😊 Such a happy kitty.

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Getting By

Heh… I don’t really visit my own site, so I had to chuckle when I clicked over and was reminded that the title of the last entry was “Tired Of This Shit” because I was like, “Yeah, that sounds about right.” 😏

Things have been rough this past week too, because why wouldn’t they be, eh? πŸ™„ Gah… I’m trying not to bitch even more than I already have been, but this week was loaded with appointments – so of course I had to start it all off by being sick. 🀒 You know, I’m not even gonna cover how this week was… I’d rather just be thankful that the week is over, and that I think I’m about back to 100%. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Or at least what passes for 100% for me these days.

Only appointment I had to cancel was the dentist, and that’s because it was the first appointment of the week – right when I was feeling my worst, and in the midst of a shitty 36 hours of not being able to sleep. Great way to start the week. I guess there wasn’t anything remarkable about any of the other appointments… if anything, they went pretty good… it’s just been a little exhausting being sick, not being able to sleep, but still getting up around dawn each day to make it to this place or that place.

Today wasn’t bad though. I knew I felt good enough to eat something, even though nothing sounded good, but then since we were out that way we decided to stop at Frisch’s Big Boy for lunch. πŸ™‚ Our eyes were both a little bigger than our stomachs, but at least that meant goodies to take home. Plus we had the nicest, most genuine waitress that I can remember having for a long time.

So now it’s a couple days off before another appointment Monday, and then the follow-up with the endocrinologist later in the week. πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€βš•οΈ Four tubes of blood for several different tests, information from the scan at the hospital a while back… this will be my first appointment since then and, believe me, good or bad, waiting for info like this isn’t easy. πŸ™Β That’s probably part of the reason that I’m having even more trouble sleeping than usual.

Tired of This Shit

I’m not sure how this month’s appointment with the WC doctors is gonna go. πŸ˜• I think I’m actually seeing Dr Walter this time, when it was the new guy that I had the in-depth discussion with about the state of my treatment last month. Regardless, since the WC insurer is coming at me with the shenanigans again, the conversation will have to revolve around that rather than the stuff that I started bringing up last month.

I’ve got to be careful, because it almost feels like a “trap” that WC could use against me, but this month I have to start discussing possible alternatives for the meds that I’m taking right now. Because if they are somehow able to weasel out of paying for what I’m currently taking, the cost of two of those medications would simply be too much for me to continue taking them long term. πŸ™ That’s where the “trap” part comes in.

When I start discussing more affordable potential alternatives for the meds I’m currently taking, I want it to be clear with my doctors and in my records that I have no desire or intention to make any changes now… and that the research and discussion is really just to act as my parachute if I get pushed out of the plane. But I can see where my fear of being forced to pay for my own meds, which has made me research cheaper (but likely less effective) alternatives, means that I nowΒ know that there are cheaper alternatives, so they’ll probably think that they have the right to force me to change to them – despite my preference to keep taking the ones that I’ve been taking. 😏 Heh… I know, that sounds a bit convoluted, but it basically make sense, no?

But until I’m able to discuss this with them, I know that I’m just taking barely-educated shots in the dark when it comes to what might or might not be suitable replacements. 🎯😎 I mean, even though I know that Lyrica has very specific actions – at its most basic level I know that it is considered an anti-seizure / anti-convulsant medication… so that’s where I start looking. πŸ€“πŸ“š And now I have four or five medications that I think could be good replacements… but for all I know, even though they’re anti-seizure, they may have totally different actions – and ones that aren’t even close to being applicable to my situation. πŸ˜’

So for now that’s all I can really do… look for “close” meds and make sure there are more positive side effects than negative. Then I’ll just hope that I’m actually on to something, and that information can be put in my back pocket until it is needed. Between now and then I just have to figure out how to condense all of this crap down into a tolerable three to four minutes. πŸ˜³β±πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€βš•οΈ Gotta impress the importance of this on him, while also not rambling so much that my point gets lost in the noise. I’m better at that than you’d think, actually… it just doesn’t seem that way here because I know I can go on and on about something and it doesn’t matter, since hardly anyone reads this blog anyway. πŸ˜πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

Mid-Day Rant

I decided to come over here to the blog so I can take a break from the infuriating insurance-related calls I’ve been making this morning. 😠 I still haven’t made it past the first thing on my “to do” list, because what should have been simple turned into a shit show. πŸ˜’ When I originally signed up for my dental plan, the guy on the phone said that both of the dentists in my current dental practice were covered by the plan – but that, for some reason, he wouldn’t be able to have those dentists’ names indicated on my insurance card, so I’d just need to call in once I got my card and they’d update my information in their system. 🀨

So that’s what “item one” was supposed to be today. As is typical with customer service these days, I called in and was immediately connected to a live human… but a live human that I couldn’t effing understand due to her thick accent. πŸ™‡πŸ» I think even she was aware of this though, because she spoke slowly enough that I could barely get enough information to figure out what she was trying to tell me. I told her why I was calling, gave her my information, gave her my dentists’ information, and was put on hold.

When she got back on the phone she told me that she “regretfully” wasn’t able to add those dentists to my coverage, because they were not participants in my plan. I explained to her that I was told, repeatedly, that my dentists were covered by this plan when it was being offered to me – and that I knew those enrollment calls were recorded. 😠 She put me on hold again, then returned saying that she had just spoken to her supervisor and that she was authorized to cancel my plan without any penalty.

Normally, as I was told when I signed up, there’s a minimum contract length of a year once you agree… but this call… it just seemed suspicious. πŸ€” She didn’t seem surprised that my dentist wasn’t entered into their system when I signed up. She didn’t seem surprised that I was told I’d be getting coverage that they would not be able to provide. She didn’t seem bothered when I mentioned the initial recorded call, and that I wanted to speak to someone above her. And the way she (allegedly) spoke to a “supervisor” herself and only a minute later came back to tell me that she would be able to cancel my plan without any penalty… it just really seemed like something she’s been through plenty of times before. And it definitely makes me wonder if that’s Humana Dental’s routine to sucker people in. πŸ˜’Β Signing up people who won’t complain and will just continue to pay for a year of something that’s essentially useless to them.

So, yeah, it’s good that I was able to get out of that plan… but I still ended up getting fucked, because we’re now outside of the Medicare enrollment window – and I can’t make any changes to my plan, including adding a different dental plan, until October of 2019. πŸ™„πŸ˜  In trying to find the positives of this situation… most of my major dental work has already been done, so new coverage wouldn’t make a huge difference at the moment, plus I do still have default preventative dental coverage… so x-rays, cleanings, diagnostic stuff… a lot of that stuff is at least partially (if not fully) covered.

I’m pissed, but totally not surprised. With all of the medical/insurance/legal shit that I’ve had to deal with over the years, my default condition is expecting shit to go south and me, gritting my teeth, trying not to shout at the poor shmuck on the other end of the line. 😐 Okay, I guess it’s time to move on to item number two…

Buncha Nothin’

While I’m technically ready to start doing all of the adulting that I’ve got planned for the first couple of weeks of the new year, I am glad that today was essentially a “paused” day… where even if I wanted to, nothing significant could really be accomplished. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ™‚ I didn’t go out last night, nor did I have any company over, but I still didn’t fall asleep until around 3am. And of course I woke up too damn early, so my brain is thankful that the only real work that I’ll be doing today will be the stuff that I can address by mail. Which leaves all of the phone calls for tomorrow. 😳 Yay. 😟

Last night wasn’t totally lonely though. Brianna also stayed at home, although she was also babysitting for her sisters, so we ended up keeping each other company via messages up until the ball dropped at midnight and then a while after. β˜ΊπŸŽ‰ I think my adulting may be rubbing off on her, because a lot of what we talked about was both of our growing lists of “Shit We Gotta Do” in the next week or two. 😏 I mean, nobody is really a fan of responsibility, but I think it made her feel good (the same way it does me) to spend some of her evening coming up with a game plan of her own. πŸ“’πŸ–ŠπŸ‘§πŸ»

I wish that I didn’t have to take Cassi back home earlier last night, but she did end up staying later than we originally planned. It was a rough, dark, rainy, stressful drive up to Columbus in that horrible weather – with 80% of the traffic still breaking the speed limit, and the other 20% either scared, creeping slowly, or completely stopped along side of the highway as they waited for the rain to stop. β˜πŸŒ§πŸ˜―πŸ˜£πŸ˜§πŸ™ˆβ›ˆπŸŒ§ While she was here though, we started watching a new Korean rom/com/dram called Strong Girl Bong-soon. It’s strange how easily I take to Korean songs and shows now that I’ve been doing it for a bit. πŸ˜πŸ‡°πŸ‡·

But yeah… this is kind of a rambling post since it’s been a leisurely kind of day for the most part. All of my upcoming doctor appointments are still heavy in my mind though… I’m just trying to not let them bother me today. 😟 I will say this though. I haven’t been feeling great for the past couple of weeks. 😐 Not awful, but not how I normally feel either. So while I’m not gonna try to predict anything when it comes to my upcoming tests, I think I’m subconsciously getting myself ready for some potentially bad news. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

It doesn’t help that I’ve been having a lot of anxiety filled dreams lately as well. 😳 Not exactly nightmares, but dreams that definitely had a negative feel. And twice now I’ve had dreams where I died. πŸ˜• One was strange… I had already passed away, but I was still around to console people and to help with all of the arrangements needed in that sort of circumstance. 😬 But the bad dreams, the specific “not feeling well” things… right now I am choosing to attribute it all to the Wellbutrin that one of my docs put me on. πŸ€’

I haven’t felt this mentally and physically shitty in a long while. πŸ˜” And it’s so much so that I’m going to stop taking that new med until my next appointment with that doctor, so I can let him know the side effects that I’ve been experiencing. Over the years I’ve probably tried half-a-dozen different meds to help with depression or anxiety, and never have I made it past a month or two before the side effects outweighed the potential benefits – and I’m pretty sure this one will be the same way. 🀨 I’ve also got something more immediate for anxiety, but I haven’t noticed any bad side effects from that one, so perhaps I’ll be able to keep one-out-of-two in my rotation this time.

Alrighty then… time for some football. πŸ™‚πŸˆ Ready to push the scary thoughts to the back again for now.

Anxious

I’m not sure how I feel about the weekend falling right before New Year’s Eve. 😟 I think it’s actually going to work out better for me this way, since I’ve already got a January’s worth of medical appointments on my mind, but I can’t even really go about changing my insurance information or anything like that until after the first of the year when the new plan kicks in. 🀨 So I’ll have at least a couple of days to start planning who I need to contact and when, and I might even get a couple days after that since some places might be closed on Monday and/or Tuesday. I’ve just got a lot of upcoming shit… I wanna hit the ground running.

I think I’m gonna have Cassi down for the night tomorrow. She can’t stay on New Year’s Eve since she has to be at work early early, but it would still be nice for her to stay – since not only has it been a little while since she has, but also because it might also be a little while until the next chance – depending on how my month goes and how I’m feeling during any given stretch. πŸ˜”

I’ve also decided that I’m going to let her take my Wii and games back up home with her to give to Junior. I can’t remember the last time that I sat down and played any of my games, let alone any of the games on that system that’s almost a decade old now. I could sell it I guess, but I’d hardly get anything for the lot of it… might as well brighten up a kid’s day a bit, eh? πŸ™‚ I’ll probably wait until she’s here to start finding all the bits and bagging it up… with the way I’ve moved stuff about since I last played, it’s hard to say what’s where.

But like I’ve described regarding my friends before… sometimes it’s just nice to have the company, because not only does it provide time to chill and (hopefully) clear the mind of “the now” for a while – something that’s always needed – but it also helps to encourage a little more productivity, since we’re both essentially able to pat each other on the back for our respective jobs well done. 😏

I’m certainly not looking forward to 2019, so a couple more days of “nothing” and some company to distract is probably exactly what I need. So I guess I do know how I’m feeling about it.

Christmas Day

Oh hell… I completely forgot to come back here and update this entry to reflect the crap that I did on Christmas day. πŸ™„ And now that it’s not all fresh in my memory, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to paint a very vivid picture of how things went. πŸ€” Let’s see…

Went up to Columbus fairly early, and Cassi and I threw together our “exclusively microwaved” Christmas dinner for me, her, her mom, and her little cousin. This was also his first “good” Christmas where he had a bunch of packages to open, so it was nice to vibe off of his excitement and enthusiasm. πŸ™‚ And since he knew that I got him a couple things as well, he made sure to have Cassi take him to the dollar store so he could buy me a few little gifts of his own choosing. 😊

Didn’t get back home until late, and like I’ve done in previous years – I saved the gifts that Genesee had gotten me for opening once my day was essentially done and I was settled back in at home. Lots of neat “baby game console” keychains, ranging from a tiny Atari 2600 to a tiny Sony PlayStation. A View-Master viewer with a couple reels of custom photos that she picked from my huge archive of pics from my past… so I’ll probably be able to use my 3D camera for making actual 3D reels for the thing. πŸ˜„ Lots of new candy and wrappers, a big ol’ heavy handmade throw blanket… just lots of unexpected goodies that put a nice cap on a day that was already pretty good.

I’m having deja vu right now… 🀨 really feeling like I’ve already written an entry like this for the day, but I’m guessing it’s probably just familiar typing – since I texted with a few different people as well and told them about how my day went. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ The only real glitch was the amount of time I had to spend up in Columbus. I mean, I didn’t have to… I wanted to… but after our lunch-time dinner my brain decided to go into protection mode, with Cassi and I both actually taking a nap for a few hours.

That’s about all I’ve got. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it really was a better day than I had been expecting, for this reason and that. Okay, now I’m all “worded out” so I don’t know if I’m gonna make that “pre-NYE” entry that I actually came here to make… before realizing that I hadn’t even gotten this one done yet. 😐 I should probably avoid any optimistic “coming soon” promises in the future. 😏