Three Days

I feel pretty good tonight, not counting the normal busted and broken bits, so I’m gonna go ahead and give this the kiss of death and say that it seems that three days was how long I experienced any symptoms from my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine. πŸ˜πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

On each of the three days it really varied though, depending on what time of the day you would have asked me. 😳 I had all the stuff that folks warned or worried about… killer headache, different than I’ve experienced in a while, mild annoying fever, definitely had additional muscle and joint pain… but yeah, I won’t go down the laundry list, but it did make me feel a little crappy over the three days, but not anywhere near crappy enough where I’d tell someone to not do it. I mean, if I didn’t think about these things as being related to the shot, I probably wouldn’t have even felt bad enough to bitch here in the blog like I often do. πŸ˜… (So we’ll count this as a “positive” blog entry.)

But today… well, today and last night… that was when I hit the “totally drained / sleep all the time” phase, logging about 14 hours of fairly decent shut eye. πŸ₯±πŸ€—πŸ˜΄πŸ˜΄ Not all in one shot, obviously, but between last night and more than half of the day today – it really feels like I “slept the rest of it away” I guess. Again, I still feel like shit… heh… but it’s my normal feeling like shit. 😏 Wait. πŸ€” Actually, I should refer to it as my temporary normal feeling like shit… πŸ˜„ ‘cuz I’m still determined to make this lower back / leg stuff go away. Oops, kinda getting off into the weeds here…

It’s hard to not grump about my back, just because the few other times that I’ve experienced this similar “spell” it would have usually been gone long before now. πŸ˜“πŸ˜₯ So, a bit of worry there, but I’m always at this doctor or that doctor these days, and Dad helped me out with some suggestions and things that’ll help me get through it, so we’ll get it sorted eventually. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜ I think I may be feeling uncharacteristically optimistic tonight – only because I’m finally feeling free of all the vaccine side effects… heh… but I’ll take it. πŸ™‚ “Feeling better” is feeling better.

Out Front

I don’t feel like looking at any of my screens right now, so this is gonna be short. Not feeling great, but the clouds were interesting enough that I made my way out to the pine tree w/ the tripod and set up the phone to see what she would get. I used some different settings, as I often do, so the frames ended up getting dark before they normally would. But yeah, at least I did a thing today to keep my brain a little distracted…

Psyching Myself Up?

Got a good amount of sleep last night. Well, this morning, actually. But that also means that as I feared, I woke up pretty damn helpless with my right leg frozen. 😣 So frustrating. All I can do is sit on a cushion, flop my leg over the vibration machine, and run it at its lowest speed until it starts breaking up all of the “permanent” tightness in that leg. πŸ˜’ Oh, and since I didn’t go to sleep until almost 6am, getting a decent amount of sleep meant that I also didn’t wake up until 2pm today. 😐 It started to make me a little twitchy, knowing that my schedule is that messed up, but I just kept reminding myself that right now time doesn’t matter.

Thankfully though, just like the past couple of days, the further along in the day it gets the more that my leg gets accustomed to me putting it through some paces… and it’s good enough tonight that I’m doing laundry, dragging baskets up and down the basement stairs, and dragging myself up and down the basement stairs. 😏 I guess I should mention that I’m not done yet. But I’d say I’m about half way through at the moment, but making solid progress. And since I woke up as late as I did, I’m pretty sure I’ll still be awake long after I get done with all that. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

Talking to Genesee this evening, I brought up COVID… because you see so many articles now about people who have had it, even without any symptoms, yet they end up with other side-effects that last for months and months afterward. 😳 And a lot of those folks not only complain about a lack of energy, but also continuous muscle and joint pain. 😟 I can’t be tested to find out if I’ve already had it since I got the first dose of the vaccine, but when I’m looking for any explanation about what’s going on with me I can’t help but wonder in that direction as well.

While talking with some other friends tonight on IRC, they were talking about how they felt that this could be the best window of time for starting to unload some of the vintage video games that we’ve all been collecting for decades. πŸ€“ That discussion reminded me that I picked up a couple dozen Japanese import PS1 (and other) games at Goodwill several years ago, which are something that usually brings some decent scratch, and it motivated me enough to go into the extra bedroom, find the box they were in, and dig them out. πŸ™‚ I haven’t sold anything on eBay for years now, but I’m thinking about getting my feet wet again by listing these suckers. (But do I sell them one by one? Or do I throw ’em all together in one lot to just be done with it?)

But I did that not because I was feeling better, or good enough to do that sorta thing… but rather in spite of the pain. πŸ˜₯ I’m not giving up and just accepting that things are gonna suck like this indefinitely, but I also have to start pushing my brain in the right direction, just in case. And if that means forcing myself to get through something despite the pain and difficulty, within reason, then that’s how it might be for a while. (Side note: that’s east to say in the evening, when things aren’t hurting nearly as badly, but yeah…)

Other than the random drive to pick up groceries or go through the pharmacy drive-thru, this shit that I’ve been dealing with has had me shut down for the past however many days. πŸ˜” Waking up, struggling, hurting, avoiding anything that could make it worse, then being afraid of the next morning as I go to sleep. And that sucks. So each day I’m going to try to add something to my day. Today it’s laundry and digging out the PS1 games, tomorrow it’ll be who knows what. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ As long as I’m at least able to walk without crumbling down upon myself, I can’t let this situation just completely shut me down or I’ll go nucking futs. 😏

Obviously each day is a surprise, some better than others, some definitely worse than others… so when I talk about that plan that I’ve got, it doesn’t mean that I’m holding myself to it in a “do this, no matter what” sort of way. πŸ™„ We’re talking about within reason here. I’m not even sure why I’m writing about it. πŸ€”πŸ˜” I dunno… maybe I subconsciously want people to know that I’m not gonna just sit here and let this thing consume each and every day. Or at least that’s the plan…

Literally

It’s 2am and I’m still wide awake… partially “just because” but partially because I’m scared to go to sleep, even more so than usual. πŸ₯Ί Yesterday morning, waking up (and for a couple hours after that) was just bad. 😣 I think it’s probably because I’d find a comfortable position and then end up sleeping several hours without moving, which ends up getting my leg muscles all frozen up in that one position. πŸ˜’ No bueno, again.

I did have a nice trip into town as the sun went down. Picked up two of my scripts without any trouble, drove past and said “Hello” to a deer that was meandering across the street, and then drove to the little lake on Wilson’s Lane until the moon came into view. πŸ™‚ Dad told me yesterday that it was going to be a pink moon, but I figured that he was just talking about how, like when people say “blue moon” they could very well just mean the second full moon of the month. πŸ˜ƒ But no, this moon tonight was definitely pink colored. In fact, it started off orange – looking almost like a sunset in some of the photos I took – before changing to that pink color as it got higher in the sky.

And considering that I shot the pics with a phone, and only steadied it for the long exposure by holding it against my car’s window frame… 😏 I’d say they turned out pretty damn good. You can tell that iOS and their photo processing algorithms “enhanced” the shit out of these otherwise-dark images, but meh, it’s still neat. Especially the ones where I framed the moon between the structure that holds the giant bird in the air, at that park on Old Logan Rd. 😯 They’re just “fancy” enough that it makes ’em a little more special than Joe Blow’s average shot, I’d guess.

Argh. I don’t know what to do tonight. 😟 Part of me is tempted to set an alarm that will go off every couple of hours, waking me up just enough so I can move around a bit then go back to sleep… but doing that also has a very real chance of just waking me up. 😠 And I really don’t want to sleep two hours, get woken up by an alarm, and then just be up through the rest of Wednesday. I do know that as soon as I wrap up this entry, I’m putting my leg back on the vibration board so it can work out whatever oush is building up in it before I hit the sack. 😌

Just Take Your Time

β€œThanks bro, I’m friggin’ tired from runnin’ around all damn day, so I appreciate you not making me have to hustle to get across the road here. Take it easy.” 😏

(Click here for a digitally zoomed version, and here for pics of the pink moon.)

Still?

I’m glad that I’ve got nothing pressing on the agenda this week. I’m just not shaking this sciatic stuff like I thought I would, and like I’ve done in the past. Granted, it’s only been a few times that I’ve gone through the whole process, so maybe I shouldn’t have expected it to be as predictable as I was thinking.

I mean, things are still moving in the right direction… since it’s not really the sciatic nerve pain that I’m dealing with anymore, but instead it’s sort of the leftover muscle pain in that right leg. Cuz, yeah, it’s going on day number three of the perpetual charlie horse in my thigh not letting up – and I have to admit, I’m starting to run out of that optimism along with the good mood I’ve been able to hang on to up until now.

I’m actually having a harder time getting around today than I was yesterday, but that could be because I was exercising it and also went in town and grabbed my first big click list order from Kroger. I didn’t unload all of it, but still, throughout the evening I was moving around quite a bit and it did seem to get looser and looser as I would go, so I was hoping that things might be decent today when I woke up. Heh… nope.

I’ve got a couple of prescriptions that I still need to pick up yet today, but I’ll probably wait until the sun is starting to go down and the moon is coming up, so I can at least “ooh” and “ahh” about how big it looks along the horizon. But other than that, I’ve definitely “called off” most of today. It took me a couple hours after waking up before my right leg was good enough to stand and walk on. I guess I should be thankful that it can eventually be worked out to where I can use it, albeit with help from the “vibration platform” thing that I bought a year or two back.

I may not be using it exactly how it’s meant to be used, but I suppose as long as it is providing some sort of relief, then you’re using it the right way for you, eh? I picked this up at the urging of Genesee, and while I can’t remember for sure, I’d wager that it was probably during or after another sciatic nerve episode that I was having way back whenever. But now that I’ve got it out in the living room and plugged up to where it’ll be out and easy to use, I can see myself using this more and more often in order to keep myself from freezing up like the Tin Man after a good rain.

But with each day that passes where I can’t really do anything, the more it’s bothering me. Like last night though, it seems like the further it gets into the evening the better I’m able to get around, so I think tonight I’ll go ahead and try to knock out a couple loads of laundry so I can at least not stink and/or look like a hobo if I remain stuck around the house. But I can only deal with this new pain for so long before it’s really gonna start twitching me out. I do have a doctor appointment already scheduled for next week, so at least I’ll have that if this bullshit hasn’t gone away by then.

Unsurprising

As predicted, the past few days have been an absolute shit show. πŸ˜£πŸ˜–πŸ₯Ί And even though I knew it was coming, and knew to prepare for it the night before, at least as best as I could… I definitely didn’t do a good enough job. I need to put a little reference note in my wallet, to remind me not to be stupid the next time this happens. 😏 Because while I did gather up all my meds, grabbed a bit of food and some soda, kept the cane handy, and a couple other little things – I totally neglected to grab the TENS unit or the lower back brace, plus I forgot to fill up the food bowls for the cats. πŸ˜…πŸ˜ΎπŸ˜ΎπŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ So yeah, “the day of” ended up being quite an adventure, with the cats doing a combination of worrying about me but also nagging me about their food.

I chose to sleep on the floor in front of the space heater because, believe it or not, generally that’s the way that ends up causing me the least amount of pain when I wake up. πŸ€”πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Whoo boy… not on that day, though. I’m a bit mixed up on my days, due to everything just being miserable… what was that, Thursday I think? Yeah, I spent the first hour to hour and a half of Thursday rolling around on the damn floor, trying to do whatever I could to find a position to lay in or a way to move that would allow me to stand up. Not get up and walk somewhere… just stand up. ☹️ Over an hour.

It’s embarrassing, honestly. 😟 The way that this particular pain forces the body to react. In a way I am glad that nobody was there to see it, but boy would it have been nice to have someone there for moral support and to fetch the damn TENS unit that I forgot about. πŸ˜… I’ll skip the gory details, but I eventually was able to grab a spare TENS that Jim gave me… luckily placed in a desk drawer in the living room… and that helped me to at least get to the recliner to sit. πŸ˜“ But that first hour, as the cats circled, trying to figure out what was going on with me… heh… I joked with Maggie, telling her to give me a little bit of time to figure this out and to not eat me quite yet. 😏

Hours later I was finally able to make it to the dining room to fill their bowl and grabbed myself another soda on the way back through the kitchen. But that was about all the movin’ around that I did, with most of my time instead being spent squirming around in the recliner, desperately trying to find any position that would allow that sciatic nerve to give it a fucking rest. 😑🀬 And then I was scared to go to sleep when it was time, not knowing if I’d wake up back at square one again. Thankfully it didn’t go like that, with Friday being marginally better than Thursday, and today being marginally better than yesterday. And while the day’s only 1/2 over, I’ve yet to have any moments where I was just unable to walk… heh… which sounds silly to say, but yeah, that’s a good thing. πŸ™‚

Rant: Ignorance

I swear, it’s no wonder why so many young, uneducated people find themselves in conflict situations with the police. It’s because nobody is teaching them how to act right, or at least how to act within the law. But don’t tell them that, ‘cuz they think they know everything. I’m specifically talking about all these posts I’ve seen on Twitter, in regards to the girl that was shot and killed by a Columbus OH police officer as she was attempting to stab two other black girls.

Some of the reasons why people have determined that she was right or acting within her rights: The biggest one that people are using right now is “She’s the one that called the police!” These people truly think that if one person initially calls the police and reports that they are being assaulted, that they can then brandish a knife and aggressively attack people, even in front of the police who are telling you to get down on the ground.

The other problem with that is that police haven’t even released the name of the 911 caller. It was someone in her family who made that claim, and those are the same people who told media that she didn’t have a knife, that she did had a knife but she dropped it before police arrived, with one family member – in the body camera video – saying that they didn’t know why they’d shoot her when she wasn’t doing anything. The video shows her inches away from stabbing one girl in the mouth, but they were still saying that she didn’t do anything. So, if it turns out it was the knife attack victims that called the police to report that someone was attacking them with a knife, will that cause people to change their opinion?

Almost nobody waited for facts. Each media outlet had a slightly different story. And everyone who was commenting had already made up their minds, based on whatever rumors they had heard. So when the facts come out, and they see that this girl was viciously attacking two other girls with a knife… because they had already planted their flag in defense of that girl, they’d rather continue to find new excuses that allowed them to defend their position – despite of all the new evidence in front of them. Stubbornness. It’s fucking dumb.

The next thing that’s gonna cause a lot of people to end up in confrontation with cops, it’s the misunderstanding of what “self-defense” or “stand your ground” means. Again, based only on rumor, people are saying that the two other girls were there to attack or “jump” the girl with the knife. And because of that “fact” she had every right to get a knife, chase them down, and attempt to stab them… again, right in front of the cops. “She was just defending herself!” they cry. But, of course, even if what they believe is true – neither of those girls was an active threat when the police showed up, and you obviously aren’t allowed to chase someone down and brutally stab them at that point.

Similar to that last one, it’s the idea that she was just following the stand your ground law, which most people only think of when it comes to gun violence. It’s a new stipulation of Ohio law that says if someone is presenting as a lethal threat to you, you no longer have to try to run away if you’re able to defend yourself with a weapon. But you are not “standing your ground” when there is no immediate threat, yet you decide to grab a knife and try to start stabbing people… again again, in front of the cops. People need to understand that there is a point when something stops being an immediate threat to them, and that they no longer are in the right if they use lethal force.

And one more big problem that I see in all of this, is how grown ass adults are teaching kids that cops shouldn’t be allowed to respond with lethal force when they see someone actively trying to stab someone. But this goes for any serious crime in general. Kids are watching, and if they see that adults are acting like the cop did something horribly wrong, they’re gonna grow up with the belief that they should be able to get away with serious crimes like that, because the police have no right to react in whatever way they choose to react to stop the threat.

What kind of service are you doing for today’s youth by holding protests with hundreds of people, everyone holding up the name of the girl that was just trying to stab and possibly kill two other black girls earlier that day? The cop saved their lives, protected them from an attacker, just as any of those people would want them to do if it was them or their kid about to be stabbed. But no, that’s not what the kids see. Plus, imagine how those two other black girls feel, with BLM and other protesters being outraged that the police stopped someone that was going to injure or kill them. They’ve got to feel like their community, their people, have just turned their backs on them. It doesn’t matter that their lives were saved… it’s gotta make them feel betrayed and worthless.

Thankfully the majority of people still have common sense, and Twitter just happens to be the best place for people to go to display their ignorance in full effect. So it seems like the majority there, but thankfully it’s not the majority of people in any given town or city. But c’mon, people… you need to teach your kids, at least when it comes to serious crimes like this, that wrong is wrong – and if you show your ass in front of cops like that, make sure they know what’s gonna happen. I swear, people are posting that they are actually surprised that a cop would shoot someone that was acting as a lethal threat to another black girl. They think cops can only defend themselves and have no right to stop a potential murder that way. So teach your damn kids… the ignorance out here is fucking ridiculous.

Oh good grief… now someone is posting about how “Holding a knife isn’t illegal.” They will seriously twist and bend their belief about something so far to defend this girl’s attempted stabbing of someone. They know she wasn’t just “holding” a knife… the video clearly shows her raising it and swinging it towards that girl’s neck. But they gotta pop up here talking about how “holding a knife isn’t illegal.” Okay, Skippy… let’s say that’s true. Is what you are seeing in this video simply a person holding a knife? Answer: Of course not. But that’s not gonna stop stupid from being stupid.