A free piece of advice. If you care about someone, don’t ever make them feel like they aren’t good enough. Because if they care about you as well, even if that person is doing the best that they can – there’s a good chance that you’re gonna make that person believe that they aren’t good enough… and that feeling could last a long, long time. And honestly, it could affect them in ways that you probably can’t even imagine.
I couldn’t make it to Jim’s mom’s funeral, but I tried, I explained why I couldn’t, and Jim understood. He knew I wasn’t just fucking off. And if I had been dead tired or maybe even still asleep when Genesee arrived, she would have understood when I’d explain why I had gotten nearly zero sleep the night before. (Because I was trying so hard to be good enough when I was needed!) She would know that it wasn’t because I didn’t care about her arrival.
Because if you make someone feel like they aren’t good enough, even despite their best efforts or desire… whenever anything else goes wrong in other situations, or with other friends, or with other family members – that person is still probably going to feel like “whatever” was their fault, because they weren’t good enough. That’s a shit thing to do to someone.
They’ll likely forgive you, but that feeling is hard to shake, so don’t be surprised when they eventually reach a point where they won’t allow you any more opportunities to make them feel awful about themselves. But the damage will have been done.