This’ll probably be the last one of these, unless I happen to capture some super-spectacular cloud formations or movements in the future. I know they aren’t that big of a deal for most people, but for some reason these hyperlapse videos hypnotize me.
I’ve only told a couple of people so far about my upcoming surgery and why it needs to be done, and I know I’ll have to let the rest of the family and my friends know soon – but I’m not sure if I’m gonna go out of my way to do that today. I’d kinda like to brush it out of my thoughts for the better part of today, and maybe just put on some music and do some cleaning and then maybe working on some paperwork later tonight. Especially now that I know there isn’t going to be some huge rush to get me onto an operating table.
I’ve already talked to my friend Jim about it, especially since we’ve got a concert planned in October, and have been talking about maybe doing a “bucket list” type trip to Las Vegas for the past several years. I’m not letting the current news change my plans for my plans, but it’s better to talk all that stuff out rather than just acting like it could never become a variable to consider. The Millersport Sweet Corn Festival is going on this week and weekend, and he’s going to be there tomorrow – so I’m gonna try to go up there and hang out at least for a bit. Throughout the years, since we went to school there, the SCF has been something we’ve always tried to hit together… a little less regularly in the past decade or so, but it’s nice to have that “traditional” thing when we’re able to pull it off.
But yeah, even though I’m going to try and avoid tackling it with folks today, I do think I’m gonna stop at some point during the day and sit down here at the laptop and type up a summary of the whole situation in a detailed but brief-as-possible way, that way I can just copy and paste it into the emails and messages that I’m going to directly send to some people, and then maybe an alternate version for Facebook if I feel like the information is starting to seep into my social media stuff as a side effect of privately letting people know.
Before I even really knew what was going on with my own stuff, I spent a lot of time talking to a friend of mine who had to reveal her “scary stuff” to her friends and family… and she said what she experienced was about what you’d assume. When most people are hit with scary sounding potentially sad news, their thoughts instantly turn to worst-case scenarios. 😔 So it’s probably not gonna matter how optimistic, hopeful, confident, and determined that I am when I tell people, they’re still just gonna see “dead man walking” until they fully process it all. I get it, I do… I mean, it’s hard to know or control how you’re gonna react to something like that when it’s someone you care about… but it’s gonna be hard to keep my head up if everyone else keeps hanging theirs. 😕
No updates for a while due to various circumstances. Thyroid biopsy was done a little over a week ago, which wasn’t as bad as I expected – but also more serious than I expected. 🤔👨🏻⚕️ Other than the doctor using a needle rather than actually cutting me open, it was actually a real deal procedure. Hooked up to monitors, in my gown, rolled from the waiting room to the procedure room… and then a couple nurses or technicians dealing with the ultrasound and instruments, while the doctor repeatedly jabbed me in the neck with a thicker-than-I’d-have-preferred needle. 😯💉 It took three different “pokes” to get enough cells for the tests that they needed to run, but the folks were all great, and always spoke in a very calming way that made it not nearly as anxiety inducing as it could have been.
Then on Monday I made it to my first of four dentist appointments. 😳 Rather than attack my whole mouf at once, they figured it would be easier on my face (and at least psychologically, on my wallet) if we split up the work on my teefs. So that appointment was a deep cleaning on the bottom, and then a gum line filling on one of the right rear molars. A little uncomfortable since they had to use a tool to push my gums down until the filling was complete, but I was good and numb so it didn’t really hurt until much later into the day.
Things have been hit and miss with my sciatic issue. Some days it’s almost unnoticeable, and then others there’s a continuous mild pain with some sharp bursts that also come with some weakness. 🤷🏻♂️ I’ve got a followup appointment with my chiropractor in the first week of next month, and I guess I’m still gonna go see him – just so I can update him in case I have my doctor doctor contact him for my info, when I ask her to look into this problem for me through whatever avenue she thinks might help.
And then my biopsy results… they came back a day sooner than I was expecting, and I actually got the call from the specialist on my way home from the dentist. 😒 They can’t really tell you anything definite from a small sample like that, so he says surgery is in my future. 😐 I actually had an appointment with him earlier yesterday, and I left feeling about as optimistic as possible when talking about this sort of thing. Like I had already been doing myself, he pointed out many reasons that I should feel far more optimistic than the average person when it comes to this – especially noting that sometimes people have thyroid defects that grow for years and years, and are never even discovered until they’ve grown to a size where it interferes with a person’s swallowing or breathing. 😧
There’s way too much to the situation to get into real detail, but I’ll just say that his “matter of fact” way (in a good way) of talking about the surgery, the treatment, the positive results that he expects and has gotten many times before in others… it helped provide a little ease to a decidedly uneasy thing to think about. So, it’ll come, we’ll hope for the best, and if that isn’t enough, we’ll just face whatever the next thing is after that. I think that things will be fine, even if not on the first try.
Had a bit of a setback with my back yesterday. 😥 The pain woke me up around 4am, and a quick trip to the bathroom made me realize that the strength/ability in my right leg wasn’t really there. I probably just slept on something wrong, but rather than dwell on it and get upset about it, I decided to devote the first half of the day to staying in bed, watching movies, and eating a few boxes of that ready-to-make chicken salad and crackers. 🐖 I could still find certain ways to lay that would alleviate the pain, so I just did that and totally plucked myself from what would have been my “normal” routine, and plopped myself into this “being a potato in bed” zone that was outside of my normal timeline. 🧙🏻♂️ My weird way of trying to explain it anyway… but it worked… that half day of removing myself from everything but Netflix and the cat actually helped – and I was able to get up and around by the early afternoon.
As I was lying there though, I started pondering my various aches, pains, and disabilities… wondering which ones will get better, if any of them are starting to just stay with me, and how I’m gonna be as I get older and have to deal with compounding issues like this. 😟 Like I told Dad, I ended up coming to the conclusion that I’m only complaining as much as I have been because I still feel like I can recover or at least improve. 🤷🏻♂️ If the “bleh” feels temporary, it’s easy to bitch about it when it’s slow going… but honestly, and my neck is proof of this, I can learn to live with pain and disability – to the point where eventually it’s “just there”, sucking, but something I can compartmentalize for the most part. 😐 For the most part… ‘cuz there’s always super painful exceptions. Summarized, my bitching will eventually slow. 😏
In the evening I went in town to deliver those two Yi security cameras to my cousin. I’m obviously more excited about any kind of A/V tech than they would be, but I could still tell that she was having fun playing around with the one as she went through the setup process. 📹👩🏻 Matt’s already running through the possible installation locations, so as soon as they get a couple little memory cards they’ll be ready to roll. It’s crazy how even just five or ten years ago, creating any kind of home video security system was expensive and a pain in the ass. There’s no way that Yi makes any money off of these cameras. 🤨 I’m guessing they’re banking on people like me to sign up for the monthly cloud storage fee – which I don’t mind doing at all.
So anyway, despite feeling pretty rotten for the first half, it actually wasn’t that bad of a day overall – and it definitely made me happy to gift those cameras to Toni and Matt. ☺ I really hope that they never have any bad reason that they’ll need any of the footage that they record… but I’m glad that they’ll have those cameras just in case they do.
I need to start falling asleep to music rather than the TV. It would be one thing if I could just pick a channel and let it play and fall asleep… but I’ll find something interesting, watch it, find something else interesting, watch it, etc – and that process went all through the night until 9am this morning. 😳 I almost fell asleep before the sun came up, but then I discovered VUDU has some free movies available, including Toy Soldiers and Hollow Man… both of which I like and hadn’t seen in forever.
So of course I ended up sleeping most of the day away once I did fall asleep. But so far, so good with my back… still slowly getting better, and this will be my first “good” weekend to work around the house, so that’s still the plan – although I’m slowly winding up for it, and probably won’t start ’til it gets dark. I don’t have any obligations for at least the next couple of days, so even though I jacked my schedule I can still just do whatever whenever and sleep when my brain decides it’s time.
Sure wish the overcast skies would clear up before the Perseids meteors have passed though. 😕
So, Jason’s son’s viewing was today… Jim G confirmed that his back is screwed, after hurting it at work – and now he’s beginning his sessions with a chiropractor… I made it to the ENT and it went as expected, a quick look-over and then he put in for the biopsy order, and he’ll be the one to interpret the results and where we go at that point… I just have to wait for them to call next week to let me know when.
The sensor in my car is saying that I’ve got a tire that’s losing air… I felt pretty good today overall, or at least compared to the “me” of a few weeks ago, so I’ve been debating tonight what all I wanna try to get done tomorrow… I actually made a call to gently remind someone that they said they were gonna pay me back some of the money they owe me, which is something that I wouldn’t normally do – so I’m not sure how that got into me today…
It feels good to have started reconnecting with some of my FB friends… and it’s even nicer to be reconnecting with my “real life” friends again, even though there seems to be hard times all around, in a variety of ways… had a nice visit with Dad the other day, and spent a little bit of time with Mom as well as she got ready for dinner… I’m looking forward to this weekend though… it’s gonna be a mix of doing a whole lot of nothin’ combined with some “Shit, I better start on this laundry / these dishes / the carpet / that stack of papers” since things have backed up over the duration of my back issues heh…
I’m not letting the good mood go to my head though. I know it can leave as quickly as it showed up.