With the Kavanaugh / Ford hearings taking up all of the oxygen today, even places like Facebook are lit up with related activity. Most of my friends think about things in the same way that I do, but there are some who don’t… and it’s weird to interact with those folks when they’re all fired up about their opinion of the matter in front of the court. One friend even made a post proclaiming her support of one “side” and then said she wasn’t going to be on FB for a while, to get away from it all. Great idea. Post your opinion, even though you’re tired of the discussion, and then expect people to not reply.

People, even grown ass people of my age, seem to have forgotten how to discuss a topic, or even debate a topic, without getting their rage on and feeling personally insulted, requiring them to spew anger back into the conversation as if someone stepped on their cat. Normally these are reasonable folks, but now “they feel” or “can tell” that this person or that person is lying. Or this person or that person is faking it when they cry. And that’s fine… you can go with your feeling about something… but it doesn’t do me much good to try and point out things that are based in fact, because their feelings trump (no pun intended) any facts that they don’t agree with.

Since when is it a thing that your political beliefs define you? Not define… but since when do they make up who you are, so much so that when your beliefs are challenged that you feel likeΒ you are being challenged? It’s so weird… I just wanna discuss it, find out why people think the way they do, see if they’ll acknowledge why I do… heh… nope… that kind of discussion doesn’t seem to exist anymore.

And I don’t push it, since it’s not something at the center of my soul that I’ve got to force everyone around me to believe in as well… so I just kinda back away and watch them smile and feel comfortable again as they settle back in to their echo chamber of comments. Nothing is better than a thread full of people who do absolutely nothing to challenge your beliefs. 😏

Behind The Mask

So it’s been a week since the surgery, and while the incision site seems to be healing well, I can’t say that I’m too impressed with how my body is acting. I’m anxious to talk to the doctor again about this, so I can find out exactly what’s going to be done to get me back closer to “right” again.

Each day I’ve tried to do this or that, to see how I feel… and I feel stuck at about ten minutes of activity before it starts to affect me. The energy just isn’t there, and I get overheated when trying to do pretty much anything. Again, like I’ve said before, I know that there will be adjustments to my medication that should hopefully help with this – but it’s just frustrating how I’ve kinda been “waiting out” this first week to see if things would just gradually get better, when it seems like they’re not going to.

I’m gonna take a shower today though, while keeping my neck out of the water, because these cat baths aren’t cutting it – and I haven’t washed my hair since last Wednesday, so I’m far overdue. I haven’t shaved either, since I’m nervous about getting the area around my stitches, so I’m looking rather homeless right now… and that doesn’t help to make me feel any better when I look in the mirror.

Meh… it’s just been a long week and I’m feeling pretty miserable.


I really wasn’t looking forward to changing my bandages, consider the way my neck hole leaked that one evening… but one side of the band-aid underneath the gauze started coming off, so I figured now was the time. With the way everything was soaked with dried blood, you’d have thought that someone stabbed me or something. The doctor did right by removing my drain, because it was down to 2.5cc in 8hrs… so it was just a matter of something in there that needed to let go, and it apparently did.

The actual site where the drain was though, it looks surprisingly good. For there and the main incision site, at least as of right now there’s no concerning redness or swelling – so I just cleaned everything up, applied the anti-bacterial spooge, and taped on some new gauze. I’m hoping to not have to mess with it further until the stitches come out.

Better Than Yesterday

Today hasn’t been too bad. I’ve been taking it especially easy with my movements, to make sure that my neck doesn’t start leaking again, but I’ve still been able to straighten up the clutter in the living room that’s been bothering me. I just had bills laid out here, hospital papers laid out there, and then I had all my gauze, band-aids, alcohol wipes, bacitracin, and meds kinda scattered around wherever I used them last. I also got my financial assistance forms completed.

And thankfully the weather has cooled so the AC doesn’t have to be worried about anytime soon. I mean, I’m still gonna get it repaired in the next week or two, before it gets cold enough that I have to start thinking about using the furnace, but at least this way I didn’t have to bother Rick to come over here after already working on other projects over his weekend. It’s nice to have all the doors open all night… hopefully no boogers come to get me and the cat.

My energy levels weren’t nearly as screwed today as they were yesterday, but it’s too soon to say if it’s my body getting used to things or if it’s just gonna be like this with the ups and downs for a while. The itching is enough to drive me nuts throughout the day though. The area above the incision has some nerve issues going on, because when I touch the area it has that “asleep” feeling to it, but between the incision healing and my beard growing in (probably) I’d sure love to just dig into it and scratch.

New Dream Blog Entry

I had a hyper-realistic dream last night, and remembered enough of it that I made a post in my rarely-used dream blog. There were reasons for almost everything that was featured…

  • Lancaster Sales – because I saw a friend that made a post last night on Facebook about how he and the crew he was working with had recently painted and put a new rubber roof on the old LS building
  • C64 Games – because I have been reading more on Commodore emulation and FPGA projects lately
  • Cleaning Lady – because I was watching a show last night called “I Am Not A Robot” where the whole show is based on a woman pretending to be a lifelike robot, who then basically lives with a man and serves as his friend but also his maid
  • Alarm Clocks – because Cassi’s phone speaker isn’t working correctly so she isn’t able to use it as her alarm clock, and I suggested to her that she get a real clock
  • Old Toys – when am I not always fascinated by the toys of my childhood
  • Big Bird – absolutely no idea
  • Doctor Who – I was searching for trailers for the new season recently
  • Pool Table – the other day I was wondering if our family’s old pool table is still down in the basement or if we had gotten rid of it at some point
  • Rice – also from the “I Am Not A Robot” show, where it was used as a plot device between characters about allergies or something.

Heh… I know that none of this will seem fascinating to anyone but me, but here you go:



Today was rough. I’m not even sure why. Just couldn’t get going. πŸ˜”

I’m still sleeping in the recliner, since the last thing I need to do is be rolling around with my neck like this, especially since the hole where the drain was has obviously not healed yet. 😬 So I just woke up this morning and stayed in the chair, grabbed my laptop, and started working on a letter for the patient representative folks at the hospital.

After getting that done, it had given me enough irritable energy to go in and find someone to hand it off to. It’s the weekend staff, so I didn’t expect anyone to be there today to actually do anything more about it – but I made clear to the woman that I expected “someone important” to read it and give me a call back. 🀨 I said that even if they didn’t agree with my concerns, that I wanted to be told why… not so much that their reasons would matter to me, but more to just make sure that they read all three pages.

Just so it doesn’t seem like I’m trying to be cryptic, it’s just my way of trying to address some procedural things once I was moved to my room. Things that made my experience a lot less pleasant than it could and should have been. I wasn’t going to pursue anything further, but if things aren’t brought to their attention then they’ll have no reason to consider changing anything. I’m just trying to see that future patients don’t deal with a few of the things that I had to deal with.

But as soon as I got back home I fell asleep in the chair for about an hour, but the unexpected nap didn’t do anything to help my energy levels. πŸ˜’ I mean, I’m sure my body wants to recover and rest and sleep… not to mention get used to the physical change and new meds for that, so I dunno… I’m probably being meh about it for nothing. Hoping tomorrow is better.

The Little Moments

Okay, so, the good from yesterday…

When I went to get my drain removed, I first stopped by my neck doc’s office since the two are located in the same building. πŸ€” Hmm… I guess I’m going to have to figure out another nickname for him since I technically have two neck docs now. 🀨 But yeah, my workers comp neck doctor, Dr Walter… I wanted to stop in there real quick to let Nicole know about the two prescriptions that I was given, just so they’d have a bit of a heads up for my next appointment.

Luckily there was nobody else in the waiting room when I went in, and when she opened the glass and saw me she joked, Wow… what’s the new accessory you’ve got there?” Heh… and that’s exactly the kind of response I hoped for, because for as long as I’ve known her through my monthly visits, and since she knew this was in my cards, it was just nice to get a jokey but caring response from her – especially when I showed up unannounced looking startling like I did. 😏

After getting the drain removed I went to leave and ended up running into Dr Walter in the parking lot. He could have ducked me, since I didn’t even see him coming, but I heard him say “Hey, Robert…” as he walked over to greet me. πŸ™‚ Like Nicole, he knew this surgery was coming, so he was interested to hear how it went and to even take a quick glance at the surgery site for his own curiosity. It was just nice, when he was probably ready to just get the hell out of there and head home, that he took five minutes to talk to me there in the parking lot like that.

Like I’ve said, I’ve been seeing this same doctor for over a decade now, so you do sort of feel a bit of a friendship… maybe that’s not the right word, but after countless office visits you end up being pretty familiar, often times talking more about “other stuff” than medical stuff, and I always felt like he genuinely cared about my issues and treatment… so it was just nice to feel like that was confirmed, by him going out of his way to show interest, concern, etc. when he could have been 5 or 10 miles closer to home if he had just taken off. πŸš—πŸ’¨Β  Β  Β  Β  Β πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

So it might sound silly that it was such a big deal to me, but having two of “my people” from that office treat me so kindly at a time when I really did need it… it makes me feel even more fortunate that those are the folks that I ended up with right after my injury happened all those years ago. 😊

Getting This One Out Of The Way

The surgery went well and I’m back at home recovering. And while that’s good news, simply making it through the surgery – and the surgery itself being successful in what it was aiming to accomplish, there’s still more waiting to be done as the labs now do their thing. 😟 I had a drain in for a little over 24 hours after the procedure, but it was removed today (oush) at a quick follow-up with the doctor. I’m glad to have it out, because I was perpetually worried that I was going to accidentally snag it and rip it out of my throat… 😣 and sleeping vertically doesn’t work very well.

The incision is about twice the size of the one from when I had my C5-C7 fusion done, which was a little surprising. πŸ˜• They needed as much access as possible to search for and remove all the bad bits though, so I guess I can’t complain. Swallowing was excruciating for the first 24 hours… so I spent most of my mental energy trying not to. 😠 Try it… see how that works for you. (spoiler: it doesn’t)Β I can finally eat soft food now though, so it’s been a Spaghettios and apple sauce type of day.


When I got home yesterday I felt like I had been hit by a bus. Everything working against me… the new surgery trauma, the agitation to my older injury and nerve damage, moving my neck around in ways that it doesn’t like to be moved, and then some issues with them not getting my normal medication to me in a timely manner – which of course triggered uncontrollable shaking in my shoulder… it was a perfect horrible storm. πŸ˜₯ Cassi stayed with me way later than she was supposed to (she had to get up pre-dawn for her work) but I’m glad that she did because I couldn’t lift my arms, couldn’t use the muscles in my neck to lean myself forward to get out of the recliner… easily the most pain I’ve ever experienced.

I’m not going to get into any of the details, but I’ve already contacted the hospital to let them know that they need to provide me with someone to talk to about my “customer experience.” πŸ˜’ Maybe I’ll share all that after it’s done… but for the weekend that will be going on my mental back-burner as I start un-pausing my life and trying to do a few things. First of which will be filling out all of the forms for the various financial assistance things that I can take advantage of. I’ve got Medicare, but that sure doesn’t cover it all… but luckily the hospital, a non-profit, has lots of programs to help make up the difference so I don’t have to go broke while I try to keep my engine running.

Meh… I suppose that’s enough for now. I do have a little bit of non-crappy stuff that I could probably report on, so maybe if I can’t sleep tonight I’ll end up making a second entry. But right now I’m exhausted and everything hurts so it’s hard for non-crappy words to come out of my fingers right now.