Oh, You Need These?

Four straight days of talking to my doctor, talking to the pharmacy, going in to the pharmacy, them making calls… all trying to get my meds approved. The same meds that I’ve taken regularly for years. πŸ€” This is starting to smell.

I paid for one of the prescriptions with my own insurance today (the other isn’t covered, so I’m not sure what to do about that one yet) and had them print me out the refusal – along with two different numbers that I can call tomorrow to try and find out what the hell the problem is. 😠 I’ll start offΒ being nice, but if I can tell that I’m not going to get any results that way then I’ll be happy to adjust my attitude to reflect my frustration.

I’m also going to call and leave a message with my attorneys tonight, letting them know about this nonsense. And since there’s a court appearance coming up soon, I’m sure the judge will also find it interesting that all of the sudden I’m unable to get the medications that they’re legally required to provide for me. 🀨 I’m still hoping this is just an error, a coincidence… because I don’t wanna believe that somewhere, someone’s job is to just refuse to pay for meds that they technically can’t refuse to pay for. πŸ˜’

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I’m Still Here

Let’s see if I remember how to do this. (I know I’ve said this before, but…) I feel like I might be starting to crawl out of this incredibly crappy funk that I’ve been in for what feels like forever. Main influence this time is my damn neck and shoulders. Stuff has been hurting at pre-surgery levels, which would be enough, I think, to make anyone concerned – considering the location and nature of my original injury. I had my first visit with my doctor in a while, where I was actually dying before, during, and after my appointment.

I didn’t have a chance to tell him, since it happened after my appointment… but on my way to check out I had one of those *ZAP* moments in my neck, and then walking out through the waiting room I had another one – bad enough that it stopped me in my tracks as I fought to not throw up. 😳 Good times, eh? 😟 I’m going to ask for some sort of updated scan of that area at my next visit, especially since I’m right in the middle of preparing to either settle my claim or go to court over it, and whether for my own well-being or for my case – updated info would obviously be a good idea.

Enough of that. πŸ˜’ Toni gets credit for getting me up, around, and doing something this time. She only gave me a couple hours notice, which normally would have gotten an instant “no” response, but she was asking if I wanted to come join her, Wendi, and Anna at the “Freedom’s Never Free” thing at the fairgrounds. Specifically, for the ceremony where they place the flags – since Uncle Rick has had one for a couple years now, and this year they got one for Grandpa Shepherd as well. I’m glad I went, but I was also glad to get back home since my doc appointment was the next day. Hell, it could have been the stress of unexpected “human-ing” the day before that allowed Dr Walter to see how bad I can get. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

Okay, that’s about all I’ve got today… pics from the ceremony are up in my Flickr.

Just Keep Swimming

Had my 30-day appointment with my neck doctor today, ran into Amy in the parking lot, and was in and out of there pretty quickly. He and I discussed our different concert experiences, and I showed him a video of the recent Skillet concert so he could understand why I’d be understandably dying afterwards and for the next few days. 😏 He doesn’t know Skillet, but he did mention seeing Aerosmith at Polaris so at least he gets it.

I had to wait several hours to pick up my prescription today though, because I insisted that the workers comp insurer pay for it like they are supposed to. 😐 I’ve been paying cash for many months now… 1) because it really isn’t that much, and 2) for some reason whenever they ran it through the insurance it would always require a pre-authorization that would never go through. Meh… I actually don’t understand that whole process, I just know it can be a pain in the ass. πŸ˜’

My workers comp lawyers are busy doing their thing, and I’m hoping they can come up with a decent settlement so I don’t end up having to go through the court proceedings. 😬 Not just because it will be yet another pain in my ass, but because I’m worried that it will affect my travel plans. Cassi has never been on a plane, so I waited for a “90% off” sale and managed to get two round-trip tickets to Orlando for a hundred bucks. 😯

It’s not a vacation… basically we’re just taking a ride. Flying down there in the morning (in the dark, giddyup), kicking it around the terminal for a while, and then flying back that afternoon. I know that probably sounds pointless to a lot of people, but I like doing “new stuff” with/for people that I care about… so I’m hoping that Cassi’s new job and my court stuff don’t end up effing up that little day trip. 🀞🏻

Wait, How Much?

The other day I did some investigating in regards to the monthly cost of the various medications that I’m prescribed, for the injury/disability that is currently covered by my workers comp claim. It’s been quite a while since I’ve given it much thought, but man… now that I see the numbers… damn. 😧 These are the prices that I would pay if I had no insurance, and was paying for my prescriptions with cash.

  • Medication #1” – Brand Name: $284.99 / Generic: $73.59
  • Medication #2” – Brand Name: $1314.99 / Generic: $535.99
  • Medication #3” – Brand Name: $996.99 / Generic: (N/A)

So with those figures… add in the monthly office appointments, the potential tests or procedures that I might need to have in the future… and you can see how I’d be a bigger financial burden to my WC insurer than one might originally think. (And it sure makes these settlement negotiations feel a whole lot more significant to my future.)

“Wake Up, Case 1485729-4”

Fell asleep around dawn and then was awoken by a phone call from one of my attorneys a few hours later. πŸ˜’ We’ve got quite a bit of outstanding issues right now, and after the long weekend I could almost feel this call coming… so much so that I didn’t turn my ringer off, since I did need to talk to him.

This entry might as well be titled “What Else Is Wrong?” since, in part, it’s essentially going to be a sequel to my most recent post. As you may or may not know, I try to keep my online presence as free as possible from a) bitching about my pain/disability, and b) talking about specifics of my workers comp case. Partially out of pride, partially because nobody really wants to hear about it anyway.

I’m not sure I even remember what I used to be like before all of this dominated my life. I know it’s not pleasant now, to put it extremely mildly, and I know it’s a constant pain in the ass… so even though it’s hard to remember, I do miss the time when my life was my own and I wasn’t being led by the nose through by doctor visits, IC hearings, physical disability, medication requirements, mental stress, pharmacy policies, insurance companies, and now actual an actual court case. 😞

I’m just frustrated because we’re less than two months away from the court stuff starting and so far the settlement stuff is going nowhere. πŸ˜• Their side will submit their brief to the court, my side will have a few weeks to reply, and then it starts getting serious. The court will likely want to depose any doctors that have seen or treated me, on both sides, which means I’d have to hope that I could essentially “rent” my doctor for half a day to give testimony – which would be ridiculously expensive. 😣 (Not to mention ridiculously annoying since he’s already submitted report, after report, after report, in writing.)

So my attorney is going to find out how much they’ve paid each year, on average, for my treatment and medication – and then tomorrow or the next day, when I go to the pharmacy to pick up this month’s meds, I’m going to have them print out what the “out of pocket” cost would be for each medication if I was paying for them with no insurance at all. πŸ€“ With those figures we’ll again try to come up with what we believe is a fair settlement, and then they’ll have to decide if the continuing costs of fighting me are worth it – rather than just settling this and making me go away.

I’m just worried that we won’t be able to get this done before the date of the first hearing. I’m sure it’ll be (us) “Here’s our offer.” followed by (them) “Well, that’s nice, but this is what we’re willing to pay.” followed by (us) “C’mon, get out of here… we need at least (this much)” and then (them) “We’re gonna have to think on this.” with (us) “Well we’re gonna have to think on this too.” Heh… so I don’t know what the odds are of avoiding this court case at this point, but I’d think they are slim.

Against The Wind

I usually have a pretty good game face. 🀡🏻 I mean, here in the blog, yeah… I tend to open up a little more, because at least until I have a single post or photo unexpectedly go viral for some reason that I’m totally not prepared for – this site has very limited readership, but it’s still nice to be able to “let shit out” now and then. πŸƒπŸ»πŸ’¨πŸ’©

Most of the time no matter what amount of physical pain that I may be experiencing, or how much emotional shit that might be dragging me down, I’m gonna do my best to make sure that the average shmo isn’t aware of it. 😐 This is something that Mom and I used to discuss a lot… whether, in the long run, it is better to hide the “bad” in order to appear strong, or if it makes more sense to let people know how you are feeling so that they’ll understand if it starts making you act in a way that seems weird to them.

Well yeah, I’m pretty close to losing that “game face” ability right now. πŸ˜– I’m not gonna bother going through all of the stuff that’s swirling around in my brain 24/7 these days, but let’s just say that I feel something coming again. 😟 And it wasn’t good, the last time this happened. And I know that saying things like this “out loud” in the blog is something that will trigger concern in the people that care about me, but just know that I’ve got a couple friends that I talk to about this stuff, so it’s not like I’m completely isolated. πŸ˜’πŸš‘ But hell, complete isolation sounds like a pretty enticing alternative to the current reality.

Talking about it helps me to fight against it, in case you wondered why I’m willing to spew such personal information and feeling here. And I do still need to fight it. I’m using today as a heavy reset, a hard break to separate the past couple of weeks from the days that are coming… because I’m going into offensive mode tomorrow, rather than waiting for the next thing to come. I’m going to get this fucking estate shit settled. It’s ridiculous that the tiniest things have held this all up for months longer than it really should have lasted.

The whole reason I’ve been as meticulous as possible in the way I’ve handled it is because I wanted to do everything that I could to ensure that the estate ended up with the absolute most amount of money as possible. And that’s not only with my own wants or needs in mind, but more because with Mom and Dad being in retirement age – they are going to want and need as much money as possible as well, to hopefully keep their worries about their financial situation as far from their thoughts as possible.

I feel like the bird that pecks away at the mountain made of diamond, but now that I’m fighting my own court battle and trying to negotiate a settlement regarding my workers comp case, having the estate stuff buzzing around like a mosquito inside of my ear canal… I just need to get it wrapped up so I can divvy up the remains and get it fucking sorted and over with.

There’s no way to get friends and family to truly understand that it’s not personal when I essentially disappear or have to passively ignore them, when I just don’t have it in me to open my FB Messenger or look at my snaps. But that’s where I’ve been for days now, as the messages start building up behind digital doors that get harder and harder for me to open.

I dunno… wish me luck for tomorrow, I guess. 😞 Nothing is gonna magically get better, nothing is gonna suddenly just start sucking less, and the mood or phase that I’m entering… it’s not gonna be easy on me or the people that care about me. So wish me luck for tomorrow. One day. Because that’s how I have to approach things now… a single day at a time, sometimes single hours at a time… I’m not giving in quite yet.

Adulting

Spent most of the day yesterday dealing with “responsibility” stuff, since the “work” portion of my week got squeezed down to two days… well, one day, if you take into consideration the day that I had to potato due to recovering from the trip. 😏 So yeah, Friday was all about estate stuff, workers comp stuff, calls to those two different attorneys, as well as another quite unproductive call to the IRS. πŸ˜’

It seems the stuff regarding my workers comp claim is coming to a head, where I’ll either be going to common pleas court in Franklin county soon or I’ll be thinking harder about accepting a settlement. Those aren’t the only two options, but those are the ones that could provide some finality one way or the other. It’s amazing though, considering that I haven’t even been a squeaky wheel (other than not giving up on my case), that my former employer is actually taking The Industrial Commission of Ohio to court over my case – claiming that many of the rulings that they’ve made in my favor have actually been done incorrectly and against the IC’s and BWC’s own rules.

And then with my aunt’s estate, the only thing that’s holding us up right now is the IRS… waiting on her 2015/2016 tax returns to be processed. Well, 2016 actually went through without a hitch, but for some reason they flagged 2015 and are requiring an obscene amount of information before they will verify that I’m the person that is supposed to be handling this. 😠 I can tell them anything they want to know about those two years’ returns, but no… they want individual bits of information off of individual earnings forms that were used to calculate her 2014 return. Oy…

I may have had that information at one point, but well over a year after this process started, those papers are long gone. I mean, if I saved every record and form that my aunt had saved I’d lose a room of my house. So yeah, my bad for tossing stuff like that which I never thought I’d need again, but damn… even when I told the lady that I could answer nearly any other question that they’d wanna ask me about anything since her death – she couldn’t/wouldn’t budge, since her job says they require “A, B, and C” to verify my identity, so I have to provide “A, B, and C.” πŸ˜’ So yeah, it’s a bit of a stalemate right now, but I’ve got an idea that I put to my estate lawyer in a message left on his phone.

So, another call to the IRS, another couple of calls to the estate lawyer, another call and conversation about court cases and settlement possibilities with one of my workers comp attorneys… for someone who experiences phone calls akin to the feeling that one gets while licking a 9v battery… yeah, it was a shit day. 😏 And I didn’t even get to call the oral surgeon to discuss my two remaining wisdom teeth that need to be removed. Yeah, I’m whining a bit… heh… whatever.