While I was cleaning this afternoon I came across my Windows 10 tablet, which I hadn’t used in many months. So I figured I’d plug it in, charge it up, and then download whatever updates it asked for. 🤓 It was a solid plan on paper, but within a few minutes of connecting the power I began to smell the familiar aroma of burning electronic components. 😳 I’m glad that what I was working on kept me in the same room, otherwise it’s hard to tell what might have happened.
I’m pleased with the amount of stuff that I got done today though. The living room is clean, the last little bit of laundry is clean and waiting for me to fold it, and then I sorted through some more stuff and added to the “sale/auction” boxes stacked in the extra bedroom. 😎 I did it all at a very “cautious” pace though… ‘cuz my brain is still being unpredictable, and I didn’t wanna push my luck too much. 😐
The accidental hour-long nap that I took this afternoon is gonna fuck me though. 😒 Not that I had a healthy/normal sleep schedule going on yet anyway, but yeah… I know I’ve got a few hours before I’m gonna even possibly feel sleepy. Guess that means I won’t have an excuse to not fold all these clothes before I sack out, eh?
It’s utterly miserable outside today… and I’m so glad. 😏 I think I may have explained this before, but when I know that I’m not going to be able to leave the house (for whatever reason) I’d much rather it be gloomy and awful out than sunny and 70 degrees – because the day doesn’t seem nearly as wasted that way. The clouds are so dramatic looking that I considered doing some sort of time-lapse video, but it’s also been raining pretty heavily – and I can’t be arsed to get soaked just to make another time-lapse that looks like half-a-dozen of the other videos that I’ve made over the years.
But I just wanted to come back in here today to make a lighter post, to balance the somewhat heavy feel of the one that I made last night. (ie: even when everything is horrible, everything isn’t horrible.)
Even though this past week has been challenging, I did still complete some more work towards sorting through shit here in the house that can be sold via yard sale or auction or whatever. It’s hard to explain how an excess of inconsequential “stuff” can feel overwhelming at times, but it does. And it’s not just my own stuff that I’ve compiled over the years, but also all of the stuff that was already in this house when I moved in. 😐 But yeah, I filled up another big ol’ U-Haul moving box full of random goods, which felt like (and was) a nice small accomplishment.
Another non-bleh thing from the past few days was that I volunteered to watch the fur babies again for a couple of days while their house was being fogged for silverfish. 🙄 It is a 👏🏻 huge 👏🏻 friggin‘ 👏🏻 paininthe 👏🏻 ass – getting them here, housing them, and then getting them back home… heh… but as y’all know, I try to help out friends when I can, plus it was nice to see Dad’s kitties again. Lily is really starting to show her age, but she is soooo lovey when she sees me now. 😊 Maybe she knows that I’m responsible for her getting soft food while the others get dry.
And then this year’s county fair came and went this week. I can’t remember if I already mentioned it… but meh… it’s something where I could honestly take it or leave it right now. I know some of my friends went, and I’m sure that there’d be plenty of other people there that I’d know as well – but honestly I just didn’t have the oomph to deal with any of them. That sounds so awful, I know… but introverted people with anxiety issues are like “Dude. I know exactly what you mean.” I’m just bringing it up here because it makes the empath in me smile to see many of my normally-unhappy friends making happy posts from the fair on their FB walls and such.
It’s funny… I’m literally sitting here cautiously. 😐 Realizing that I’ve accomplished quite a bit over this past week, and that if I play my cards right – my weekend might actually be my weekend – and I’m not even feeling that bad right now, physically. 🙂 I just mean that I don’t have much to do other than some laundry, a little picking up, and a bit more paperwork, so I should be able to make myself relax and just do nothing… or something. Who knows.
And when I say that I’m being cautious, it’s because I know how easy it is for stuff to just spring up, whether being “stuff to do” or with how I’m feeling… so I’m in this “tiptoe” mode, as if being that way will prevent whatever unexpected thing that might come. 😏
I’ve gotta pick up my other batch of meds tomorrow and do a couple of things at the post office, so that could give me an excuse to do some other shit while I’m in town… hell… I don’t even know what the weather’s supposed to be like, nor do I have any idea of what I might even want to do. Heh… guess I probably shouldn’t overthink it… so everyone just wish me luck towards getting a couple good days to myself.
Starting to feel better. I’m able to lift my left arm again, so that’s good. 😏
First Stage: Oush. Mucho pain.
Second Stage: Pain lessens, but can’t raise my arm past my waist.
Third Stage: Able to raise arm again, but at the cost of pain returning.
That’s almost always how it goes, and every damn time you can bet that I’m sitting here worrying that this might be it… that this might be the time that the muscles in my shoulder crap out and just stay that way. 😟 But so far, so good. My head still feels like it weighs twice as much as normal though, whenever I tilt it from side to side. 😬 (Well then…. don’t tilt it from side to side! 😅)
Basically I’ve just been as careful as possible yesterday and today, and I’m not going to be stupid this time and try to jump back into any kind of action before I should. 😐 I’ve got nearly my entire wardrobe worth of laundry waiting to be washed, along with a handful of other things… and yeah, it’s making me twitchy that I can’t start checking it off my list yet, but I’ll just work on bills and paperwork tonight in order to feel like I’m not being worthless, and the rest can come whenever I’m actually back to good.
I haven’t really been able to reengage my social engine yet either. 😒 I was already having issues in that department for a while though, so it’s not surprising – but all the people at the concert definitely didn’t help. It’s strange sometimes… trying to figure out this weird new person that I’m becoming. 😐 I’ve got a pretty good idea of how I got here, but it’s a little too personal/lengthy to get into… just gotta keep trying to get better.
(And you’ve got to check this out: “15 Thoughts Every Introvert Who Loves Music Has At A Concert” – I only found this page just now, and holy shit is it accurate. 😅 Seriously. Read this and you’ll get a slightly better understanding of how my brain works. Just magnify each bullet point by a few factors and you’re there… even number 15 nails it perfectly.)
Get this. On Sunday, due to sitting around all day, thinking about everything that I had to do on Monday, I think I ended up making my brain give out early… heh… because I fell asleep around 9p and slept all the way through to 10a. Don’t get me wrong, I love when my body finally demands a reset and I get an actual good night of sleep, but it’s not often that my brain craps out before whatever “things” I have to do.
But thankfully I woke up today with my neck hurting much less, and I got through all of the phone calls that I needed to make without melting too much. I also got the living room straightened up and the bills done like I was hoping to do. That’s another thing I’m trying to change…
I have this bad habit of seeing the entirety of “Stuff I Have To Do” and “Stuff I Want To Do” rather than focusing on a smaller sliver of one or the other that I might be able to actually manage. So today I limited it to attorney BS, shopping BS, and living room BS. With the house here, even though there’s a near infinite amount of stuff that I could or should do, if I break it up by room or even smaller task, I think I’ll have a much better chance of making headway.
And then continuing to think about it in a different way than usual, I also have to remind myself that I don’t always have to be doing something productive, and that I don’t have to feel bad when I can’t devote time to people when I’m simply am unable to do it. I’m not sure why I always feel like my time should be spent in those ways, and then feeling shitty if I can’t quite do it… but I need to remember that doing nothing is okay too sometimes.
It’s been a pretty bleh weekend so far. Had trouble sleeping during the week, getting 3-5 hours on average each day/night, then on Friday night I slept for 16 hours. 😳 Sounds great in theory, but then I ended up staying awake until almost dawn today… and to top it off, I was gifted with horrible, horrible nightmares. 😞 Not “boogeyman” type dreams, but more of the “family-based” variety. So I woke up a bit after 12p today with the energy of a boiled potato.
But yesterday, even though I had enough sleep where I could have done it, I just couldn’t make myself go to the Sweet Corn Festival to do the traditional “walkin’ around” with Jim and other friends. The cool weather and constant drizzle didn’t help, but I just didn’t have it in me anyway – so maybe the crap weather was a blessing. 😒
I’m probably going to drop even further off the radar today than I usually am, so I can hopefully shake off the crappy residual feeling from my dreams by watching the NASCAR double-header… and by possibly doing some random chores around the house during the commercial breaks. 🤔 It would be nice to start the week a little bit ahead of the game, especially since I never know how my sleep will go anymore.
For the record, there were some good moments over the past several days, and I’ll probably get around to mentioning them at some point… but now is not that time.
I did it again… got a little too excited or whatever, before I actually had those tubs in my hand so that I could get started on all the organizing that I wanted to do. I got the notification from Target that my order was ready to pick up, followed by a notification that they had to cancel the purchase of five of the storage bins. 😒 So almost half of my order was cancelled but they still expect me to drive 30 miles to pick up them up. Umm, no. 😠 Your site said you had even more than 12. Your site let me place an order for 12. This is not going to be “my problem” now.
I sent their customer service folks a message, asking them to cancel the rest of the items in my order. If I need 12 tubs of the same size and same color, getting a little more than half of that really isn’t going to help me. 😐 I’ve yet to get a response, and it’s been a couple hours now. And yeah, it doesn’t mean that I can’t start sorting through all of the stuff anyway, but I was just so hyped for the purchase that it has really taken the wind out of my sails when it comes to my enthusiasm and ability.
I still have to start going through some of the boxes anyway, since Uncle Jay has tasked me with finding a few different things that might be in there. So I’m going to tune out the humans, do a little bit of that, tackle the mail from the past week and a half, and generally just do random stuff around here that has been lurking in the back of my mind, nagging at me. I don’t quite have the oomph to go out and actually check Walmart, Menards, etc in person for suitable storage bins today, but hopefully tomorrow. 😬
I really hope Target will be kewl about this. I don’t want to have to get noisy.