Just Humor Me

I cautiously got some work done around the house yesterday and today. Didn’t plan plan to do it, but that’s usually the best way for me to be successful at something chore-based… not really knowing it’s coming. (I know, it doesn’t make sense.) And no, it wouldn’t be considered a huge amount of housework for someone in tip top shape, but yeah…

Yesterday’s work was in the evening, where I finally tackled the bathroom and not only totally cleaned it up, complete with scrubbing all the gross surfaces, but I also got into the closet to throw out anything old or unneeded, followed by getting everything organized and on the shelves in a way that makes everything much easier to get at. So, looking at it, it looks done… but I do still want to go through the drawers and get all that shit organized or tossed as well.

I also got the living room tidied up, vacuumed again, etc. Then this evening was the kitchen’s turn… well, mostly the dishes. I’m still a dumbass though. Every, every time that I do up a sink full of dishes, I tell myself that from now on I’m gonna clean each dish as I mess them up – that way I’ll never end up with a sink full again. I dunno, maybe I did a little better this time, since 75% of it was just silverware and stirring spoons and spatulas and such. But man… fucking dishes, man… I swear. Whatever it is about standing there and using my shitty arm / shoulder, it just messes me up so quickly.

So I broke it up into three or four pieces, which feels lame as hell, but it’s the only way to keep from gimping myself up by the time I’m done. But it’s all good now. Got those couple of bowls and pots cleaned out, and then all of the Olive Garden containers… which, honestly, look way better than any kind of cheap tupperware type containers you would find at the dollar store or wherever. That’ll let me work on some soup, stew, noodle combinations which I can then freeze for later.

Heh… such a dumb entry. But I felt like patting myself on the back. I was telling a friend just the other day that I need to get out of this fucking rut, even if it’s by doing the littlest “different” thing each day to push me in the right direction. It helped that it was sunny all day, and despite the cold I even had the front and back doors open for a bit. But I decided that I could get out of the house some other day, when I wasn’t quite so low on oomph. Heading to bed early, since I’ve kinda whupped myself with the chores, plus I woke up at a normal AM hour, which leads to this normal PM hour bed time. We’ll see if it takes.

Too tired for emojis… figure it out.

Mid-Day Stalling Ramble

Woke up after about five hours of sleep today, so if I’m lucky I might be able to get my sleep schedule back to normal human hours tonight. πŸ™‚ I actually am hoping to be awake when the markets open tomorrow so I can make a couple of adjustments, but we’ll have to see how things are going at that time. πŸ€“πŸ’»πŸ“ˆ But yeah, woke up wondering why I was sweating in the hoodie I fell asleep in… πŸ˜“ and that’s because it’s friggin’ 78 degrees outside today. πŸ˜ƒ I remember reading that it was gonna be nice, but I didn’t expect this.

It’s gorgeous out… and part of me wishes that I had a little energy left in my reserves to go do something, but then I realize I don’t even know what I’d wanna do if I did. πŸ˜„ So I’ll just open the doors (as I was hoping for a couple days ago) and eventually start cleaning up the living room and kitchen. The kitchen only needs a bit of attention, but I’ve let the living room get away from me. 😟 I’m a weirdo though, because I’ll get as much “goody” feeling just from getting the house looking nice, as I would by trying to find something to do in the nice weather today. πŸ™„πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜ Probably more, since it’s been on my mental agenda for a couple days.

And even though I’ve been letting my hair grow for a while, in case I wanted to do something funky with it, it has honestly been bugging the shit out of me. I have gotten used to a nearly buzzed head for so long… so, probably tomorrow, when I’m not sweating, I think I’m gonna shave it all short again. πŸ€”πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€πŸ¦² I need to do whatever things I can, no matter how little, that may help to improve how I feel. It’s part getting older, part getting jerked around with my meds, part actually not being as healthy as I’d like… but I feel like I’ve hit that point that I reach every several months where I’m like “Okay, I gotta make some changes.” 😐

This year’s been shit for everyone, but for many people their year has been a lot worse than mine. So I have to keep my aches, pains, energy, adulting struggles, etc in perspective – while (hopefully) reminding myself each day to do whatever I can to avoid this perpetual funk I find myself in. I probably am my own worst enemy, but I’m still optimistic that at least on some days I can get things going the right direction. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ™‚

Heh… that turned a little more introspective than I intended… 😏 but I get a little weird like this when I’m in a decent mood for the better part of 24 hours. I just recognize how over the years I’ve become programmed to be more of a grump-ass than not, so it just makes me wanna figure out how I can hang on to these “better” moments when I can. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ™‚ Okay, time to get busy around here or it ain’t gonna happen.

Pre-Weekend Check-In

I got my early morning wish granted, and ended up sleeping from around 4am to 4pm today. So I guess when I said that today would be a “do nothing” day, I wasn’t kiddin’ around. 😳 It makes sense though, considering that I did a little more this week than I normally do, and then did the social thing yesterday to top it off. Body has a tendency to just shut down and go into recovery mode after stuff like that. πŸ˜ŸπŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ And I do feel relatively rejuvenated (at least for now), so that’s awesome, although when I’m “rejuvenated” it’s about the same as topping off the charge on a 3 year old NiCad battery, where you’re really only getting about 75% of the charge that the battery advertises. 😏 I’m not complaining though.

It’s weird waking up just a couple hours before it gets dark, but with that, along with it being the weekend now, once it gets dark like this and “the day is over” for most folks – that’s when it feels more like my time. Still planning to get started on my bills here shortly, and then after that I’m probably just gonna take it easy through this weekend, picking up little chores here and there as I feel like it. πŸ™‚ Weather’s supposed to be awesome tomorrow, so I could see myself opening up the house to let the stink blow away as I do some cleaning… if I’m still feeling decent.

It’s been a stressful week for anyone with even a passing interest in the election, and even though I’ve been checking in with Twitter now and then, I think all of us deserve to take the weekend to just chill out about all of this crap and let the processes happen. πŸ€“πŸ‘πŸ» Donald Trump seems determined to file as many lawsuits as it takes to win, so that’ll be a growing list of agencies, counties, and states dealing with all that. πŸ˜’ And then the presumptive recounts… honestly, I say bring ’em on, and as soon as possible.

If any votes were counted when they truly shouldn’t have been, then yes, let’s get them out of the totals. And I also believe that there should be an accurate count, like nearly everyone, so I don’t have any issues with any recounts that end up being done. It’s a shame that, even though he disputes the results, Trump can’t do that in a way where he retains a bit of dignity – and where he doesn’t get his followers all worked up with a bunch of claims that lack evidence or are just not based in fact. πŸ€‘πŸŽ™οΈπŸ”Š 😫😑😣😀😠🀬 … 😞 He’d rather lose and make half of the country angry along with him, truly damaging society and its trust in our systems, rather than shutting the fuck up, filing his objections with the court, and confidently requesting recounts.

I’ve never seen someone in such a high position act like such a sore loser. All while trying to convince people that he believes he’s the legitimate winner. Lack of self-awareness in Trump and his supporters has them all full of sour grapes, looking like anything but people who are confident that they should win. πŸ™„ Thing is, those folks don’t care if he “acts like a president” or confronts this process with composure. Many are just used to getting their way regardless, so they’re having a really hard time now that they’re learning that some things can’t be lied through, and that sometimes facts (finally) do seem to matter.

“This is America. This is the country I have served and defended, that all of my
brothers have served. And here, right matters.” – Lt Col Alexander Vindman, 2019

Heh… see, I said yesterday that I wasn’t gonna garbage up my blog with this, but obviously it’s something I’ve been pretty passionate about over the past four years, so I had to throw at least a bit of it out here. 😁 I just don’t know when my particular take on things became the minority opinion. Maybe it’s not, and maybe that’s what this election is showing. But I don’t think it’s such a controversial take to say “Let either one of them take their objections to the court, so we can get any problems taken care of. And then if recounts will actually make a difference to either one of them, then sure… have the recounts.”

And like I said, even though none of them are acting like it… Trump could still win. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

Nervous / Anxious Rambling

Other than sneaking out every now and then to record some 360 video around town, I’ve been pushing back against a pretty big funk the past couple of weeks. 😞 I dunno, maybe it wasn’t that different from any other stretch of time… I just know that my kitchen and living room had become cluttered and awful, but on Saturday I somehow found the energy and motivation to tackle them both. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ™‚

I just ended up doing (again) what I keep reminding myself not to do. Buying something from the quicky mart? Take the stuff out of the bags and leave whatever I won’t need at that moment on the counter, along with the empty bags. πŸ˜’ Nuking some soup / pizza? Just leave that can / wrapper wherever. Gonna empty out a case of pop / box of snacky cakes? “I’ll just put this empty box on the counter until I get a chance to break it down.” only to run out of counter space due to all of those empty boxes, bags, and cans. πŸ˜• Neglecting to follow my own “Clean up your mess as you make it.” mantra.

So yeah, cleared away all the clutter, scrubbed the counters and stovetop, threw away some expired shit… then in the living room I reorganized all my random stacks of papers, mail, receipts, and paperwork yet to be done. πŸ™‚ Topped that off by picking up all the throw rugs and vacuuming away all of the scattered Doritos crumbs and accumulating kitty hair. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜ I don’t have any plans for company to come over or anything… I just did it for myself, so I don’t feel like quite as much of a lazy slob.

Plus I also wanted to get those things done before this “work” week starts tomorrow, so I can at least have pleasant surroundings for the potentially crappy stuff I’ll be working on. First thing will be getting the ultrasound out of the way tomorrow, then throughout the week it’ll be making follow-up appointments regarding that (if they don’t call me in first), some more discussion / work regarding my Rx reimbursement attempt, an eventual conversation with my WC attorney about how things went at the pre-trial mediation, and then at some point taking care of the stack of mail / bills that had continued to grow in size over the previous week. (Plus it’s time to refill all of my meds again this week, so… yeah… ugh.)

But these past few days went as you’d expect. 😐 Doc visit w/ hoop jumping, day to recover, LR / kitchen tidying, another day to recover, and now I’m mentally prepping for all the above shit while I’m getting ready to lie down to go to sleep. πŸ˜…πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Normally that rookie move would ensure that I’d be awake all night with a full brain… but I was already getting sleepy at 8pm today, so (touch wood) I’m optimistic about some decent sleep regardless. 😊 Just wanted to get on here to make an entry where I could pat myself on the back for getting those couple of rooms done up, mostly.

The Last Virtual Race

It’s been quite a presentation they’ve put on over the past seven weekends… but iRacing and NASCAR managed to produce some pretty entertaining “virtual” races for the fans, while real racing is shut down due to the virus risk. It looks like this weekend will be the last of the “pro invitational” races that actually get broadcast on TV, and they’ve decided to run this race at the now-defunct North Wilkesboro Speedway.

This video is particularly interesting to me since I’ve been messing with a 3D scanning app on my phone, Display.Land … and here these guys are, cleaning up the aged raceway and then using laser scanners to get as much detail as possible for incorporating into the iRacing world. I can’t wait to see how it looks later today.

Improvement Over Time

Felt significantly better by the afternoon today, so I went ahead and made a quick run in town since I had some paperwork that really needed to go out by the weekend – and better to take it to the post office to make sure the postage was right, and to make sure it goes out ASAP, than to stick it in my mailbox and hope that a) nobody steals it before tomorrow, and b) the maild00d notices the flag and stops and gets it.

Speaking of mail and packages… Amazon guy sighed as DHL guy pulled in shortly after him. 😁

img_0060(They both get my kudos for their “backing in” abilities. My driveway is barely distinguishable from my yard. πŸ˜―πŸ˜ƒ)

But after they left, that’s when I made the run in town. I’ve been printing so much crap lately that I finally had to get more paper if I wanted to stay on top of everything. So I hit Family Dollar and grabbed a couple packs of paper, a little more “get by” food for the fridge and shelves (including some more pot pies and a jar of pickles), and then some name-brand Chloraseptic and more decongestant stuff to help fight off my crud. 😷

Headed back home pretty quickly, since going out wasn’t even originally in the cards for me today… and for the rest of the evening I’m gonna do my best to disconnect my brain and just enjoy my Friday night. πŸ€“πŸ™„ I’m not gonna work on / worry about any of my car stuff, hearing stuff, doctor stuff, court stuff, etc… and instead I’m just gonna try to find some new movies to watch as I start straightening up the living room, kitchen, and my desks. 🀨 Gonna keep all of my papers organized and ready to go, of course, but in a place where they aren’t always visible out of the corner of my eye, staying in my thoughts.

But getting my living room straightened up, getting the groceries put away, folding the laundry, getting things somewhat back to normal around here… it’ll help. 😌 And I know it’s weird, but getting to truly “relaxed” is more difficult for me than it (probably) is for most folks… requiring just a little more effort, ironically. 😏 At least for now. Hoping that as I knock down each of the upcoming responsibilities, the stress that waits with each of them will go away too. πŸ™‚

Now to see if I can make myself wait until Monday to continue working on my statements… πŸ™„πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜

Small Steps… Always

Still not much going on lately. πŸ˜πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I’ve been continuing the incremental bits of cleaning and packing up of stuff, spreading the work out over time so I don’t excessively aggravate any of my gimpy parts. I wish that it made a bigger visual difference in the house, but honestly most of what I’ve been doing has revolved around cleaning out closets, working in the (rarely used) basement, and cleaning out various junk drawers. It’s nice to get my desk organized though, with all the “office stuff” that used to be scattered around the house. πŸ€“

It’s still being done mostly for the sake of “doing something” during my otherwise lackluster days, along with the feeling of accomplishment when a long-delayed project / task is finally finished. πŸ˜•πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I’m not usually thinking about it, but it’s feeling more and more like I’m subconsciously preparing the house and myself to eventually move out of here. πŸ€”πŸ€¨ I’ve talked about the reasons before, which are all still valid, but when I’m not getting any younger and have been dealing with my various health problems – I think I just wanna be closer to town, people, stores, fast food, civilization, etc… just for convenience sake, if nothing else.

Meh… like I said, it’s not something that’s in my thoughts most days, but the idea is there. And in the same way that I’ve had to make adjustments to my daily life due to my disability and thyroid / energy issues, I can just see how being closer to all that stuff in general could make life easier and more bearable when it comes to the things that are a little more challenging for me. πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€πŸ¦―πŸ€• I’ve got several friends that are feeling similarly, as they realize they’re a little more isolated than they’d like, so I think that’s also partially motivating me. Where do I want to live? 😐 Who knows. πŸ˜… But at least the chores that I do, essentially just to give myself some purpose, is preparing me for whenever I might be ready for whatever the next phase will be.

Cautious, Grumpy Progress

Yesterday and today haven’t been great, but I’m trying to not let it slow me down too much. Woke up yesterday with my neck being more crapped up than usual, which then evolved into a headache that lasted all day. πŸ€• Same deal with my neck again this morning, but thankfully no headache to go along with it so far. I was supposed to go see Bri sometime today, but I went ahead and pushed that off until tomorrow… just wanna give myself one more night of sleep with the chance of waking up feeling better.

I’m not even sure what’s causing it, but the only thing I can think to blame is that I switched ends on my bed. πŸ€”πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I had it cornered against two of my bedroom walls in one direction for a few months, and a couple of days ago I scooted it so it was in the same corner but more against the other wall. 😐 It’s hard to explain, but basically what used to be the foot of my bed is now where my pillows and head are, so maybe that little change is just something that my neck needs to get used to. πŸ˜’ That part might be less compressed from time or whatever. Meh… I’ll probably sleep in the recliner tonight just to be safe. πŸ‘΄πŸ»πŸ’ΊπŸ˜

So, rather than visiting a friend while I’m in a frustrated, semi-grumpy mood, I figured I’d take the day here at the house to accomplish whatever light-duty type things that I get the motivation to tackle. So far today I’ve gotten the carpet vacuumed, the kitchen counters cleaned off, and finally 409’d the stove top. πŸ˜₯Β (That’s why I’m taking a break now… heh) I have to space things out and not push my luck, but lemme tell ya – with the rest of the kitchen relatively clean, that handful of dirty dishes in the sink will be smirking at me until I get them done up as well. Let’s put them on the “maybe” list for much later tonight. 😏

The NASCAR race is actually tonight instead of tomorrow, so that’s something to look forward to… oh, and for shits and giggles I put the 360 camera into time-lapse mode (2s intervals) and stuck it on the lamp post out front to see how long a full charge will last on that setting. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ€“ But tonight, I think during the commercials I’ll work on tidying up the bathroom. That’s one way I make myself do things when I don’t really want to… make the commercials mandatory “do something” time. πŸ˜’ The drawers and closet in there have needed attention for a while, so I’ll probably drag the trash can in there and at least get started on it.

At the end of the day, even though nobody would probably notice that I did anything… except, perhaps, the cleaning of my kitchen counters… I’ll still know that I accomplished (what counts as, to me) quite a bit. πŸ™‚ That’s about the only way I can handle this big ol’ house… little bits at a time, slowly getting room by room in better shape, and hopefully not cluttering it back up before I’ve finished whatever the next room is. πŸ™„πŸ˜ Meh… okay… I should quit rambling and get back to it. (Sorry, sometimes I have to stop and pat myself on the back like this to keep myself motivated… ‘cuz some of this shit isn’t easy for me.)