Oh Yeah? Hmm… Okay

No updates for a while due to various circumstances. Thyroid biopsy was done a little over a week ago, which wasn’t as bad as I expected – but also more serious than I expected. πŸ€”πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€βš•οΈ Other than the doctor using a needle rather than actually cutting me open, it was actually a real deal procedure. Hooked up to monitors, in my gown, rolled from the waiting room to the procedure room… and then a couple nurses or technicians dealing with the ultrasound and instruments, while the doctor repeatedly jabbed me in the neck with a thicker-than-I’d-have-preferred needle. πŸ˜―πŸ’‰ It took three different “pokes” to get enough cells for the tests that they needed to run, but the folks were all great, and always spoke in a very calming way that made it not nearly as anxiety inducing as it could have been.

Then on Monday I made it to my first of four dentist appointments. 😳 Rather than attack my whole mouf at once, they figured it would be easier on my face (and at least psychologically, on my wallet) if we split up the work on my teefs. So that appointment was a deep cleaning on the bottom, and then a gum line filling on one of the right rear molars. A little uncomfortable since they had to use a tool to push my gums down until the filling was complete, but I was good and numb so it didn’t really hurt until much later into the day.

Things have been hit and miss with my sciatic issue. Some days it’s almost unnoticeable, and then others there’s a continuous mild pain with some sharp bursts that also come with some weakness. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I’ve got a followup appointment with my chiropractor in the first week of next month, and I guess I’m still gonna go see him – just so I can update him in case I have my doctor doctor contact him for my info, when I ask her to look into this problem for me through whatever avenue she thinks might help.

And then my biopsy results… they came back a day sooner than I was expecting, and I actually got the call from the specialist on my way home from the dentist. πŸ˜’ They can’t really tell you anything definite from a small sample like that, so he says surgery is in my future. 😐 I actually had an appointment with him earlier yesterday, and I left feeling about as optimistic as possible when talking about this sort of thing. Like I had already been doing myself, he pointed out many reasons that I should feel far more optimistic than the average person when it comes to this – especially noting that sometimes people have thyroid defects that grow for years and years, and are never even discovered until they’ve grown to a size where it interferes with a person’s swallowing or breathing. 😧

There’s way too much to the situation to get into real detail, but I’ll just say that his “matter of fact” way (in a good way) of talking about the surgery, the treatment, the positive results that he expects and has gotten many times before in others… it helped provide a little ease to a decidedly uneasy thing to think about. So, it’ll come, we’ll hope for the best, and if that isn’t enough, we’ll just face whatever the next thing is after that. I think that things will be fine, even if not on the first try.

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Prepping to Prep

With all of the rain and warm weather, it’s getting to be about that time for mowing to start up again. I’ve already talked to my lawn d00d and got that all set up, but I still have to get out there and get things kinda cleaned up beforehand. I’ve got lots of plants that start growing before the first mowing even happens, plus the still-standing corpses of plants that grew and died last season… so I’m gonna do my best to get rid of all of that stuff, which will actually make the mowing that much easier for d00d’s mowing guys.

This work shouldn’t be too taxing, but I’m still planning on using the better part of a day to do it. Also today I’ve been gathering names and numbers for bush trimming services, so tomorrow I’ll be able to make some calls (hopefully) so I can get some estimates for the bushes around the house as well as the ones along the rear of the property. I hate spending money, but since I didn’t have anything done with them last year – I guess I can mentally take whatever it costs and divide it by two, telling myself that it was actually for service that covers two seasons of “bush stuff.”

Surprisingly, I got a decent night of sleep last night, so that’s gonna make today easier… half chill, half prepping for stuff that I need to do this coming week. I’ll be glad when all of the “outside stuff” has been handled though. It’s the same as the inside of the house… my brain just relaxes more easily when things are cleaned up and looking nice. And right now the outside of my property looks pretty rough.

Working The Kinks Out

It seems that, for a change, I did exactly what I needed to do to get myself feeling better from yesterday. 😳 Before I even started The Walking Dead last night I raised shields, cut off communications, and let things remain that way until half way through the day today. I only slept about 6 hours, but walking up to the sun rising, as well as to a phone that I had no intention of checking… it’s like the minimal stress of wondering what my phone will want from me is sometimes enough to tip me to the bad side, where whatever I’m trying to shake will remain. 😐 More of my weirdness, I suppose.

And it’s not like I’m in high demand or something… but it just helped everything about how I was feeling yesterday, to not be beholden to my phone or anyone wanting me for anything through it. (Make sentences bad, structure coming good tonight is not. πŸ˜…) And as they day progressed, even though I used the laptop to dick around on Twitter, I started feeling better. πŸ™‚ As I was watching Justice League I started straightening the living room. As I watched some news I went ahead and ran the vacuum. And then before I started some YouTube videos about scanner/radio frequencies, πŸ€“ I took all the baskets of dirty clothes down to the basement and started a couple loads. All of that before I even thought about looking at my phone. πŸ˜€

When I did, I was relieved to see that I only had a couple messages waiting for me, and nothing on my social media of any importance. The world went on just fine without me. SHIT. I do think I remember seeing a call notice though.

I guess I better check that now… πŸ˜…Β  Β ** pause while listening to voice mail **

Well I have absolutely no idea what the hell that was all about. Some fella left a message, and he knew my first name, saying that he was from Lowe’s installation and that he was calling about my “overnight cooktop” (I think) and wanted me to give him a call back to let him know if I’d be home. Heh… no idea. I guess I’ll find out tomorrow, but I can tell you right now the last thing I’m interested in is an overnight cooktop.

But anyway… all that’s left for me to do today is get these shirts onto hangers and up in the closet, and the towels onto the shelf into the bathroom and I’m golden. 😎 Just gonna take that for what it’s worth, and I’ll worry about tomorrow when tomorrow gets here. I’m just happy that I figured out what it took to get me through this day.

The Purge

I’m trying to motivate myself to continue the work that I’ve been doing around the house. I moved my desk and desktop PC into the living room, effectively making the back bedroom “without purpose” and currently just serving as storage for that stuff that I want to sell or donate away. πŸ€” If I do a couple more things in the living room it will be how I want it, with the stuff that I want in it, and I can move on to other rooms.

I just have a ridiculous amount of stuff for one person… much of it inherited when I moved into this house. πŸ™‡πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ There are sentimental things, which will of course be kept / saved, but there’s plenty of “just stuff” stuff that can just go. 😏 I think I need to rid myself of the excess so that, if I decide to do so, I’ll be able to pack up and move out of here without it being as huge of a pain in the ass that it might be otherwise.

A few people have mentioned to me that the older you get, the less important “stuff” truly is to you. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ And, feeling like I’ve aged a couple of decades in the past couple of years, I have to admit that I feel somewhat the same. I mean, I’m not interested in liquidating everything that I own… but yeah, there’s a point where “more stuff” is just more hassle, whether actively or just because it sits in the back of my mind, knowing it’s there and should be managed or dealt with or whatever. πŸ™„ So, for a lot of people, the idea of getting rid of as much excess as possible… it’s not that strange.

Believe it or not, if I had all of the rubbermaid tubs of family memorabilia tucked away in a storage unit, I could honestly get rid of most everything else in this house and still be happy. πŸ™‚ Heh… it’s like the way my friend Jim lived for a long time. He had a two bedroom apartment, but one bedroom was only used to store stuff, he had no dining room table, no living room furniture, and was quite content with his bedroom set up awesomely enough that he never felt the need to spend much time in any of the other rooms. πŸ˜„ I thought it was weird at the time, but I can see how it would feel freeing now…

Original Recipe or Extra Crispy?

While I was cleaning this afternoon I came across my Windows 10 tablet, which I hadn’t used in many months. So I figured I’d plug it in, charge it up, and then download whatever updates it asked for. πŸ€“ It was a solid plan on paper, but within a few minutes of connecting the power I began to smell the familiar aroma of burning electronic components. 😳 I’m glad that what I was working on kept me in the same room, otherwise it’s hard to tell what might have happened.

I’m pleased with the amount of stuff that I got done today though. The living room is clean, the last little bit of laundry is clean and waiting for me to fold it, and then I sorted through some more stuff and added to the “sale/auction” boxes stacked in the extra bedroom. 😎 I did it all at a very “cautious” pace though… ‘cuz my brain is still being unpredictable, and I didn’t wanna push my luck too much. 😐

The accidental hour-long nap that I took this afternoon is gonna fuck me though. πŸ˜’ Not that I had a healthy/normal sleep schedule going on yet anyway, but yeah… I know I’ve got a few hours before I’m gonna evenΒ possibly feel sleepy. Guess that means I won’t have an excuse to not fold all these clothes before I sack out, eh?

Try It This Way

Get this. On Sunday, due to sitting around all day, thinking about everything that I had to do on Monday, I think I ended up making my brain give out early… heh… because I fell asleep around 9p and slept all the way through to 10a. Don’t get me wrong, I love when my body finally demands a reset and I get an actual good night of sleep, but it’s not often that my brain craps out before whatever “things” I have to do.

But thankfully I woke up today with my neck hurting much less, and I got through all of the phone calls that I needed to make without melting too much. I also got the living room straightened up and the bills done like I was hoping to do. That’s another thing I’m trying to change…

I have this bad habit of seeing the entirety of “Stuff I Have To Do” and “Stuff I Want To Do” rather than focusing on a smaller sliver of one or the other that I might be able to actually manage. So today I limited it to attorney BS, shopping BS, and living room BS. With the house here, even though there’s a near infinite amount of stuff that I could or should do, if I break it up by room or even smaller task, I think I’ll have a much better chance of making headway.

And then continuing to think about it in a different way than usual, I also have to remind myself that I don’t always have to be doing something productive, and that I don’t have to feel bad when I can’t devote time to people when I’m simply am unable to do it. I’m not sure why I always feel like my time should be spent in those ways, and then feeling shitty if I can’t quite do it… but I need to remember that doing nothing is okay too sometimes.