Continuing The Tradition

It’s my fault for not knowing about it, since I still haven’t managed to get my ass back onto FB since before my cancer scan, but yesterday my cousin Jim texted me to let me know that he was hosting the family cookout that night. He announced it in the family group on FB, but like I said… so yeah, maybe that’s what I should have done to try to keep myself awake longer last night – but having woken up before 4am that same day, I just didn’t have the oomph to put on my social face… and I also didn’t wanna concern people, with them noticing that I was low-energy and possibly thinking it was cancer related. I mean, technically that could be part of it, but I covered the real reason in the entry below.

But I texted him today to apologize for not going, and he said that turnout was relatively low. Mostly local family and then a couple of the extended family that live within reasonable driving distance. I gave him props for still having the oomph to host cookouts or bonfires now and then, because even without a kid and a job, I know how just the crap that I’m dealing with can often have me just wanting to stay at home and recover from whatever has been wearing me out.

Talked about how lucky we were as kids, when we’d have the reunions at Grandma and Grandpa S’s house… how all of us kids just always had a great time, and were blissfully unaware of any “shit” that the adults may have been dealing with. Maybe they were just a slightly tougher generation, but whatever it was – it let us all experience those moments and create the memories that we now can only hope to reenact for the younger folks in the family now. So hopefully when Jim has a cookout like last night, and turnout is light… we’re comparing it to how it was when we were little… so hopefully the younglings are still getting a similar good feeling and creating similar fond memories to look back on when they’re older – even if it didn’t feel like a complete success to Jim.

I told him the same thing that I told Toni a while back… just because I might not come to an event, please don’t stop inviting me. When I don’t show up, it’s usually not because I don’t want to go – but because the other stuff that’s happening or recently happened in my life just has me distracted, tired, or otherwise just lacking the oomph to make myself go. But I do have good days, and I do wanna go to those things, and sometimes everything works out where I actually make it… and of course I end up having a good time.

Last time was an impromptu trip out to Shannon and Chris’ house with Matt, Toni, and Anna… even though I had to drive out through the field and park right next to the bonfire since it was during the period where my right knee was almost unusable. And as much as I hate being the “man, he looks pretty messed up” guy, it was still nice to spend a couple hours out there with all of them. Meh… I’m rambling…

I did manage to stay up a little later last night, and woke up a little later as well, so at least that plan worked last night – and I’m feeling somewhat better because of it today. Still having crappy dreams, but at least last night they didn’t actually wake me up. But I’ve already done up the little bit of dishes, made some pasta w/garlic sausage sauce that I split up into three plates for easy microwaving later, the doors are open since the day is nice, and there’ll soon be a NASCAR race to play in the background as I decide to do whatever it is that I’m gonna do with the day.

Who Invited You

As I suspected, I had fun… but it wiped me out. We all ended up staying there for about an hour and a half, dodging the rain under the shelter house now and then as needed. Unfortunately, Aunt Sharon forgot to bring her packet of pictures. 😐😑 She asked if I would come out towards the end of the week to take her to see Mom anyway, so I’ll just grab them from her then and figure out what she wants to do with everything.

Lemme see if I can remember who all was there. 🤔 Me, Sharon, Jim, Vicki, Toni, Wendi, Gloria, Jamie, Chris, Me, Matt, Anna, Jamie, and Mark. 😳 I think that’s it, although it felt like more people than that at times. I tried to absorb as many people’s stories as possible while they were talking, but you know how it is. 😏 It was nice though. And they made a bit of a fuss about me showing up at one of the family “things” since I often don’t, but it was all in fun… and they’re not wrong. 😅

I allowed myself to zone out as I watched the ducks, geese, and babies every now and then. 😵🦆🦆 All of the critters helped to make it sort of peaceful once you reached the edge of where all the picnic tables are. I even sat right next to some geese for a minute and none of them tried to give me the business. 😄 But I’m back home now and trying to get back into “home” mode, and at least right now I’m looking optimistically towards tomorrow and some of the things that I want to do.

Making The Most Of It

I’m feeling a bit antsy this morning. I’ve got a trip coming up with some friends that I scheduled over a month ago, so of course my sleep schedule is all screwed up now as I start to get anxious about it. You know how it is, I just tend to overthink things in general, so my brain has been working overtime to make sure everything goes down as planned, so that everyone has a good time.

We’ve already planned for it to be a mix of business and pleasure. The main guests are Athena and Desiree, since I figured they both deserved a little getaway. Athena, because of all the shit that I’ve done with Cassi that she didn’t get to be a part of, and then Dez, basically because all the girl does is bust her ass. (Work, school, life… heh) Sean gets to come along as well so that Athena doesn’t feel like a third wheel. 😏

But as we were planning it, we knew that we wanted to have some chill time… swimming, cooking weenies and roasting marshmallows over the fire, checking out the abandoned tunnel, etc. (Oh yeah, we’re going for a couple of nights in a cabin at Lake Hope State Park.) But then we also wanted to get in as many photo sessions as possible. (The “business” part) There’s gonna be a ton of interesting spots to serve as backgrounds, and there are many planned outfit changes in order to get a lot of different looks in the photos sets. (So if they end up sharing their photos, they can space them out days apart or longer, since they’ll look significantly different from each other.)

I’ve been a depressed blob all week, and I’m still not quite sure how my mood is going to be for all of this, but this is honestly how I have to do things sometimes… schedule them so that they are unavoidable, then *poof* I’m out doing something. 😒 I’m sure it’ll be fine, I’m sure we’ll all have fun, but that’s why I’m being so twitchy while I pack. Hoping that I got food that everyone will like, and enough of it to last two nights, etc. Meh… I need to stop worrying.

Heh… I just realized, this is another one of those things where people will probably hear about it and think that I’m just off having a grand time without a care in the world, but here I am a day before departure, only 50% sure that I even wanna go. 😛 Another thing that’ll probably bite me in the ass is that everyone else who wants me to take their pictures… they’re gonna see these new ones and either feel snubbed or they’ll be even more intent on me scheduling something with them. Heh… it’s so weird… how little interest I have in the hobby right now. 😕

Okay, basically I just wanted to bust out an entry to get some of this nervous energy out, but since I don’t really want people to know that I’m not gonna be home for a couple of days – even though I wrote this in the early AM of July 30th, I’m gonna schedule it to post after the trip is already done and I’m back home. 🤓 So if you’re reading this, you can figure the trip didn’t turn out to be shit… ‘cuz otherwise I would have deleted it before it even showed up. Alright, back to work…

EDIT: And to make things a little more interesting, since Dezzy is only able to stay the first night, when it’s time for her to go home Cassi is going to come down and take her place. 😅 I’m going to be taking so many pictures on these next couple of days that it’s likely I won’t want to touch a camera again for a long, long while… heh  but Chelsea and Ariel have both been waiting, oy.