Good Days = Still Remarkable

Today was a nice, uneventful day. Having caught up on my sleep over the past couple of days, I woke up in a pretty good mood so I decided to head in town to wash the car and pick up some pop, bread, and other misc. $13 seems a little steep for a car wash, but I’ll give the place credit – as cruddy as she was when she went in, she came out shining as if someone had washed her by hand. 😎

Next time I’ve just gotta remember to spray on some wheel cleaner that I’ve got, and let it sit for 5 or 10 minutes, because that’s the only part that remained somewhat cruddy. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜ Even the dryer section completely dried her off, unlike the freebie wash that I sometimes get from the dealership. Oh, for reference, it’s that barn shaped car wash out by the mall… can’t remember its name at the moment. πŸ€”

I also took the opportunity to stop in at the new Ohio Thrift there in the Plaza shopping center. It started as a furniture place, then turned into a thrift, and then it was vacant for several years before this new one moved in. Nice place, lots of variety – likely due to it being part of one of the bigger chains from around Columbus. πŸ˜ƒ I doubt that much of their inventory came from the area, with as much as they had in there.

I had the 360 camera in the car with me, just in case my motivation held up, but walking around the thrift store ended up being enough exercise for me. πŸ€• So I just took a short drive through the fairgrounds and Rising Park before heading back home, but that did give me the chance to stick the camera to my roof and get two recordings. πŸ€“ I’ve had that camera for quite a while but haven’t put it to much use due to this or that, so now I’ve at least got a couple of clips to mess around with as I re-remember how it all works.

Trying to think of a use for that camera did make me kinda “meh” again, thinking about not being able to ride a motorcycle anymore. πŸ˜’ Using the fairly heavy duty selfie-stick that it came with, if it was mounted off the back seat or fender of a bike (sort of like a kid would have a goofy orange flag waving off the back of a bicycle) it would result in some impressive looking footage. 🀨 The stick is digitally removed automatically, so it would look as if I had a drone following behind me the entire time – but with the ability to “look around” in any direction that you wanted at any time. Meh…

It’s weird how there are things, things that I can’t do anymore due to my shoulder, that I’ve gotten over… and this is a good example. I tried a short ride a few years after my surgery, but I could tell that if anything unexpected happened, I just couldn’t count on my left shoulder to do what it might need to do. πŸ˜³πŸ˜• And for those who aren’t aware, bikes are friggin’ heavy… so not only would riding hurt, but it would have just been a really bad idea anyway. πŸ˜’ So yeah, having that bike / camera idea pop into my head for a split second, before remembering that I can’t ride anymore… those unexpected reminders just suck sometimes. 😟

But no worries with all that. πŸ™‚ Like I said, I’m quite happy with how today went. Grabbed some kitchen supplies, hit a thrift store for a few “new” shirts, took a joyride through the parks, and got to mess around with yet another camera. And with the way people drive in this town, I wouldn’t trust half of those assholes to be around me while I was on a motorcycleΒ anyway. πŸ˜› Similar to my dash cam, I bet most riders these days have some sort of camera on their bike or helmet. I know that I sure wouldn’t ride without one.

Hoping that “good days” keep coming along, to where they no longer merit entire blog entries… 😏

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Unexpectedly Chill Day

My earlier post from today was actually written last night and just scheduled to post this morning… because I was sleeping in, comfortably in my big ol’ recliner. 😊 I’ve had it for quite a while now, so it is starting to lose some of its poof, but it’s still almost perfect for sleeping in. Gawd… what an “old person” thing to say and admit to, but hey, if it works it works, right? 😏

And for better or worse, after that decent night of sleep and then waking up and getting moving around… I had one of those rare days where I didn’t feel compelled to do a damn thing. I often mentally paint myself into a corner, planning this or that, then being frustrated if I can’t or don’t get to it – but today was just a nice nothin’ type of day. (It’s amazing what a difference “not waking up in pain” can mean for any given day.)

I’m sure I’ll grab my phone this evening and catch up on messages and such, but for the most part I’ve just been trying to absorb some non-twitchy type news, and looking up various other random shit on the laptop. πŸ€“πŸ’» Local news, weather stuff, SpaceX stuff, concerts over the next few months, looking up apartments out of curiosity, getting caught in the YouTube rabbit hole of course… just random fluff like that.

Every now and then I check all the mapping sites to see if there have been any updates, and I noticed that Google Earth’s imagery of Millersport sure makes it look like they filled in their public pool with dirt – with a large building or house being built right next to it. 😧 Might have to see if I can get a closer look in person. It’s sad though… I mean, I didn’t go there a lot as a kid, but I remember that it was one of the few things that could bring out what seemed like half of the town on those hot hot days. And that’s saying something, considering the two beaches that Buckeye Lake still had at that time. (Not only is “Sandy Beach” not a beach anymore, but they un-island’d the island that was right off the shore there. Weird.)

I hope the weather for this weekend is close to how it was today. Yeah, it’s not like I spent much time out in it… but it’s nice to open the doors again to let the breeze blow some stink out of the house, without sweating balls a half hour later. For today, I’ve been quite fine just watching the pretty sky and clouds blow past, either from out of my living room window or via one of the many security cameras that let me peek at various angles around the house.Β  β˜οΈΒ Β πŸŒžΒ Β πŸ“ΉπŸ§

The day did have some purpose though. Back’s definitely feeling better than yesterday, didn’t wanna accidentally blow all my energy trying to do something today that can wait until next week, plus I’ve got an early doctor appointment tomorrow that I had forgotten about… so today just felt like the right day to take it a little more easy than usual. πŸ™‚ Oops, there I go again… worrying about justifying it to myself or whatever. πŸ™„πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Heh… change takes time… and that’s okay.

Garage Door Springs

After having a good start to the day yesterday, it was actually going back home that fucked up the rest of my day, evening, night, and now into the early morning hours. πŸ˜’ It’s a little after 2am right now, and I’ve tried just pushing it out of my head for the night, but that’s not gonna work. I need to ramble. 😏

Had a good visit with Dad, Toni, and Anna as planned. πŸ™‚ Skipped the drive across town to the hospital afterwards, also as planned before I even left the house, because I could just tell that I wasn’t gonna have the oomph for both. Not a big deal. I don’t think Toni prepared Anna for how I’ve been feeling lately though… 😏 because more than a couple times she asked if I just woke up, if I was tired, and looked at me like I was a weirdo when I was wetting a towel and cooling off my head. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ But again, no big deal… it was a nice and long overdue visit, and we stayed about two hours.

Had just enough oomph for the drive back home, like I figured… but when I clicked to open the garage door, only the right side went up – and just a little bit – so I quickly hit the clicker again to stop it from whatever it was trying to do. 😠 And this is a little ironic, because in the past few weeks I’ve only been on Facebook a couple of times. The most recent time was to let people know I was here and okay, and the time before that I remember leaving a comment on someone’s post about garage door springs. πŸ™„ Such a random topic, I know, but I think she was looking to have hers replaced, and I commented something about how Dad and Grandpa B both said that you definitely didn’t wanna be standing next to one of them if they decided to go.

Well, that’s what happened yesterday. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Not awesome. Also, completely mentally and physically draining, at the push of a clicker and lurch of a busted garage door. Nothing I can do about it though, so I was hoping to just go “Nope” and go inside and not think about it for at least the rest of the night. But yeah, one of the springs popped in the middle, and with such force that there’s even broken pieces of wood on the floor of the garage from where things broke apart in the supporting rafters. 😯 (The door itself looks mostly okay from the outside) I’ll have to go out and get some shots of the damage whenever I wake up later today, not that I’m gonna be able to do anything about it for a while. Perfect timing, so to speak.

And it wasn’t even something that I had been slacking on. I bought a thing of grease that I specifically used for the tracks, rollers, and parts of the drive motor that function better with grease on it. But the shit is old… really old… so I can’t be that mad. I just wish it broke in a way that made it look more like a “repair” than a “replace.” But the door is crazy heavy, the old opener has struggled with it for a while, so replacement will be the best route when I’m able to get to it. And luckily, with that, there’s no huge hurry.

Silver linings: I wasn’t standing near it when it broke. Nobody else was standing near it when it broke. My car wasn’t underneath it (the door or the spring) when it broke. And it broke when the door was down instead of up, where it probably would have slammed down and shattered. 😬 So it could have been a heck of a lot worse. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ€ All it means for now is that nothing will be entering or leaving the garage, which is fine – car’s already outside, and even though I’ve got a mower, I’ve also got my lawn d00ds that handle that right now. It’s just one of those “defeating” things where I know there’s not a damn thing I can do about it by myself, which means I’ll have another “big thing” to add to the schedule at some point. 😟 But like the AC install, it’ll be new, it’ll work better, it’ll fit better… and since most garage doors are steel molded to look like wood or vinyl siding, it’ll be a hell of a lot lighter.

Something that needed to be done eventually anyway… it just forces my hand at a really inconvenient time. πŸ˜• But now that I’ve barfed it out here, it should help me to put it out of my immediate thoughts for a little while… at least until the medical stuff is done or nearly done.

Oh? How So?

Went to my mandated WC evaluation today. πŸ˜’ Similar to what I’ve been through before, but different. He doesn’t read the medical reports of any of the people he will be seeing until after he talks to them. He also goes over all of people’s current medical conditions, even ones not under the “allowed conditions” of the claim. He said it was his job to evaluate all of the meds and how they may interact with each other, good or bad. πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€βš•οΈπŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I’m not sure why WC would want him to do that, and I’ll admit that it kept me trying to figure out which angles he might possibly consider using to “get me” like other doctors have tried before. 🀨

He was an older guy, and was like 90% friendly and fine, with the last 10% feeling like there was “something else” behind it. πŸ€” I just know that it’s in both of our interests to be friendly, cooperative… just “how a person should act” with any other person. So in general, it was honestly fine. He repeated it a few times, and he stuck to it – saying that he wouldn’t ask me to do anything that would hurt. Now, they all say that, but in order to effectively demonstrate the “broken” – the side effect is that it usually requires additional pain.

He had me list all of the meds I’m currently taking, regardless of which doctor prescribed it. But with each one, he did want to know why it was being prescribed to me… which also seems reasonable. When we got to the meds that my shrink is currently prescribing, and what he has prescribed in the past and is possibly considering in the future… I explained that it’s really only the current two that seem beneficial to me, and that I didn’t care to try a bunch of new med combinations while dealing with thyroid / cancer issues, that I’ve experienced bad side effects, etc. 😐 Β Just continuing the story like I had been…

Somewhere around that point he says, “I think you’re trying to be clever.”Β  πŸ˜’Β  Umm… excuse me???

My inner voice immediately shouted “And what the fuck is THAT supposed to mean exactly?” because it definitely felt like a random shitty comment that didn’t have any place in the current conversation. 😠 I was truthfully answering all the shit he was asking, so I don’t know what made him say that. But whatever other question he asked as he said that, I answered it – but in the same breath followed it up with “…and what do you mean, I’m being clever. 😠 Strongly encouraging him to elaborate. (Thank you, brain, for allowing an on-the-fly, split-second, non-“fuck”-containing translation from thought to words.)

He questioned why my shrink would be prescribing this or that script (the same way I questioned it) so I don’t know if he thought I was making excuses or what… but I explained, “People look at doctors as an authority figure. I try to trust my doctors. So when my primary care says I should give counseling a try, I did. When the counselor suggested that I give the ‘pill shrink’ a try, I did. But when he started or wanted to prescribe me things that didn’t seem to fit with any symptoms I was having, I made the choice to not take them. Or if I did try one that I thought could help, I tried to wait out the side effects and wasn’t able to.”

Keep in mind… none of this has anything to do with my workers comp claim. And when someone is happily cooperating and truthfully volunteering their entire current medical history, that’s not when a doctor should reply with something that sounds like a vague negative accusation of something. πŸ˜• And for what it’s worth, I am clever… heh… but that’s neither here nor there. Thankfully that ended up being the only really out-of-place thing that he said, as he moved on to taking various measurements.

Ended up being there for an hour and a half. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈΒ Rehashing how the original injury happened for the umpteenth time, talking about the tests, PT, and treatment before and after the surgery… everything that’s already in my file… but whatever, if that’s how he wants to gain the info. And about my knee hurting, my neck / shoulder slowly getting worse, he asked if there was something specific that happened to cause them to hurt more… which is a fair question… so it felt like “No, there’s wasn’t anything that happened to trigger it, but I wish I knew.” wasn’t a helpful answer to him, and definitely not a helpful answer for my case. But that’s how shit works sometimes, and he (and everyone else) knows that… injury / surgery sites will get worse over time, and sometimes knees and backs are fine one day and fucked the next. No inciting incident required.

I didn’t let his “clever” comment change how I answered or did anything, but it did change my mood about the whole thing and made my nausea instantly worse. 😟 Reminded me that this is just part of the game where everyone smiles, does what they’re supposed to, and then goes their own way – likely to never encounter each other again. But like I said, compared to others, he was fine. Unless he ends up writing a shitty report that screws me over – because I truly didn’t get the feeling that he had any problems with my current WC-related treatment. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ (But if that does happen, and I have to see him again, that’s when he mayΒ actually get to see me “thinking that I’m clever” – because at that point, why not?) 😏 Guess I’ll know how this visit went a few weeks from now, when I randomly check the mail and find another Industrial Commission Hearing notice. πŸ™„

It’s just starting to feel like it’s about time for more of that nonsense.

Been There, Done That

Trying to force my brain to take a break today… and having an evening NASCAR race helps with that. It’s actually at a track that I’ve been to, but when I went a handful of years ago it was still a traditional Sunday race. Ya know, having all the races on a Saturday night would be a good selling point for the out-of-shape, disabled, or old farts. (Of which I’m like 2.5 out of 3) Mid-day summer races, with all the blacktop and aluminum seats reflecting and radiating the heat… β˜€οΈπŸ”₯πŸ˜“πŸŽοΈπŸ’¨πŸ’₯Β Thankfully it wasn’t until I was a little older and more out of shape (after all my trips) that I realized how brutal it can really be. 😯

Tonight’s race is from Kentucky Speedway. I think it was four years ago that I went… staying free at ‘Da Boat for a couple of nights, and hopping over the river to Sparta on race day. 😎 If I remember correctly, Cassi went with – but just to enjoy the room and the getaway. It really is a fan friendly track, but woo… all that walking. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈΒ It’s no Indianapolis… another track where I’m amazed that I would spend entire days walking around (miles) in the August heat. πŸ˜₯πŸ™‚Β I suppose it helps though, once you’re there, hearing the cars, seeing the drivers, getting the pics and occasional autographs… it only hurts and burns later that night. 😏

It’s funny, I remember having a Skoal Bandits matchbox car when I was a kid, but that was the extent of my interest in NASCAR until after I was out of school and Dad took me to a couple races at Indy. Since then I’ve seen two Brickyard 400s, two Indy 500s, one race at Kansas, and one race at Kentucky. πŸ˜ƒ But, probably showing early signs of what was to come, the last few times (and those were a while ago) that I went to Indy… I’d only go on qualifying / practice day. That way I could see the sights, collect all the good shots that I could, sneak in whatever areas I could manage… but not getting the “bake in the stands for however many hours” experience that actual race day would require.

I’m not saying that I’ll never go to another race, or another track around race days, but I just haven’t been able to stay as interested in the new drivers once “my drivers” or “our drivers” retired or otherwise exited the sport. 😟 Think about who you’re not seeing anymore when you go to a race, and if you’re old enough – it’ll probably make you wonder if you still wanna bother going too. πŸ€”πŸ€¨

Dale Earnhardt, Mark Martin, Dale Jarrett, Jeff and Ward Burton, Darrell and Michael Waltrip, Sterling Marlin, Bobby and Terry Labonte, Mike Skinner, Kenny Schrader, Ricky Rudd, the various Bodines, Rusty Wallace, Morgan Shepherd (oldest driver to start a NASCAR race, at 72 😯 years old), Jeff Gordon, Greg Biffle,Β Tony Stewart, Carl Edwards, and even Dale Jr. That’s how you know you’ve been a fan a while though, when you’ve watched a kid come into the sport, run for a good long time, and now even they’re gone. And yeah, I didn’t necessarily give many shits about a few of those named… but boy did they all have personality. πŸ™‚

And that’s exactly what made their presence so easy to remember and, now, miss. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

Once More For Good Measure

The bulk of my current thyroid treatment has been set up. Blood draw, three weeks without any thyroid meds, limiting iodine intake in my diet for that whole time, another blood draw… then the hospital (if the results of the second blood test allows it) will schedule a time for me to go there for the iodine radiation pill again, with the full body scan about a week later. Once everything is said and done (and only if there are zero issues along the way) I’ll be spending a little over a month without my thyroid and without the meds that replace its functions. And no, I’ve got no intention of googling to see how bad it might get.

Same as last time, I’ll have a protocol that I will have to follow for the week after I’ve taken the pill. No contact with anyone for the first few days, no contact with kids or pregnant women after that… washing everything I touch, keeping my distance from the cat when possible, using plastic utensils and paper plates… all that sorta fun stuff. Only this time I have no idea how I’ll physically and mentally feel due to being off of the thyroid medicine for so long. The next month or so will be an adventure.

Meh… there was more doctor stuff today, plus I’m likely gonna be radioactive when I’m supposed to have my next WC doctor appointment, so I’ll have to figure that out… but I just don’t have the mental energy to really keep at it this evening. Found out a couple of sad things with some other friends… I dunno, this day just ended up being pretty crappy. I’m gonna try to get some sleep and try to start fresh tomorrow.

I’m glad that at least this stuff is all on track now and we’re moving forward, I guess…

Chaos

Today was awful. Didn’t sleep well, had shitty nightmares that felt never-ending, and still had to get up early so I could go in town for a morning dentist appointment. Also needed to pick up some bread and pop somewhere, as well as the anti-inflammatory meds for my knee from the pharmacy. Didn’t realize until I was town that about 1/4 of the city was without power… and still is, as far as I know. (ie: everything is a clusterfuck, to put it mildly.) I’ll probably make a real entry about it all later or tomorrow maybe, but cripes… think of any situation that might trigger a twitchy person’s anxiety, and I bet you that I went through every damn one of them today. I’m home now, but I’m twitched the F out and might just unplug for the night… I just can’t “do” any more today.