Your Warranty Has Expired

I wish that I felt more capable of adjusting to whatever illness or injury that might be affecting me at any given time. πŸ˜’ I don’t usually complain directly to anyone about such things, instead saving it for shouting into the void here, so I dunno… maybe everyone else has just as hard of a time adjusting to certain things like I do. But for example, the better part of the last couple of weeks have been really good – and then out of nowhere my knee just decides that it’s going to hurt. Hurt hurt. 😣 And my past couple of days have been mentally, physically, and socially fucked up because of it.

It makes sense that physical pain, along with losing some ability and motion, would also trigger my twitchy… I just hate that I don’t have any more control over it than what I do. 😠 But after a few days of hobbling around, and a few nights of long but often-interrupted sleep due to feeling the pain throughout the night, I wish I could just say “Well, I guess I’ll just take it easy and stay off my feet today.” but instead I let it fuck up my day, being irritated about being so irritated about it.

One problem, almost all of my friends (for a long time now) tend to be younger than me. It keeps my mind young, but my body doesn’t get that memo. So I’m not surrounded by similarly aged people with similar aches and pains. 😏 Another problem, with my work injury happening to me as young as I was, I’ve been dealing with that pain / disability for over a decade now… and it is pain that I feel like I didn’t really earn. πŸ˜•

I’ve joked with my cousin Matt and Dad about how “At least I was never in great shape when I was young…” compared to Matt, who loves / loved playing basketball, and Dad who is a Marine and served during Vietnam. In a way it’s a joke, but you’d also like to think it would be true… if you were never in great shape when you were young, it should be less of a deal when parts start to get defective when you get older. That’s turning out not to be the case. Now it’s more like “Dammit, I didn’t use myself up when I was young, so I shouldn’t be breaking down like this already.” πŸ™„

And I’m not making this entry to complain… it’s actually something I’ve thought about as I’ve faced various things, and it has also made me wonder how I’m gonna handle things when it inevitably gets worse as I get older. πŸ€” Like my Aunt Carol, she was in all kinds of awful shape, but she didn’t bitch about it or let it slow her down – let alone stop her. πŸ™‚ I just hope I can eventually become more like that. Everybody gets old, everybody sooner or later starts feeling worse and worse, and I just don’t want to end up a grouchy old recluse because I’m still struggling to handle the changes that every other human just seems to handle.

One thing I’ve noticed though, even my younger friends don’t give me shit about it – when either my neck and shoulder are extra screwed, or when my back or knee just randomly decides to go to shit for a while. I think it’s that insecurity of (in most ways)Β being on the same page as someone regardless of our ages, and worrying that if I have to hobble around or use a cane for a few days that they’re gonna look at me like “Oh my gosh… I forgot how old he is.” Heh… but so far that’s not been an issue, and if anything it just ends up being something that we joke about rather than it being some eye-opening revelation… heh… as if they don’t know my age until a physical sign appears. πŸ™„πŸ˜„

Meh… it’s just a gimpy knee, it’s not gonna be permanent, I’m gonna be fine, and I’ll surely have plenty of otherΒ “fun” new things like this to deal with in the future. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Gotta figure out how to just start sucking it up.

I Think They Wait For Me To Come Out

I was trying to avoid it, but I had to go in town today to hit the bank, the post office, and then the pharmacy… where I was able to pick up only one of my two meds. πŸ˜’ I’ve still got a few days before I’ll have to start worrying, so whatever, it should be alright. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ But today… despite it being absolutely gorgeous outside… boy were the assholes out in force.

βŒβž–Β Idiot children riding their bikes on Old Logan Rd, and purposely swerving into traffic to make cars have to hit their breaks or swerve themselves.

βŒβž–Β Rubbernecking dipshits downtown, watching medics treat someone who had apparently passed out along the sidewalk, while pulling into and clogging the intersection when the traffic lights changed, due to everyone forgetting how to drive. πŸ™„

βŒβž–Β At the pharmacy there was a mother standing in the same line as me, and she was letting her little boy run wild. 😠 Of course he eventually knocked over anΒ entire display of reading glasses – then cried and screamed as she just stood there, telling him to pick them all up as he kept telling her “no.”

βŒβž–Β As I was shopping there, an extra-large woman was blocking the aisle with her cart and her body, yet she let out an audible sigh when I said “Excuse me” as I waited to move my own cart past her. She could have just moved out of the way on her own, but I’m convinced that she wanted me to say something so she could then be mad about it. 😏

βŒβž–Β A couple aisles later I encountered the same lady, continuing to use her fatness to block the entire aisle again, but she looked up and saw me coming – and she scowled as she got out of the way on her own before I reached her again.

βŒβž–Β At the intersection of Ewing and Sugar Grove Rd there was a woman who had the “yield” sign didn’t but didn’t yield, but when she realized that she had made a mistake she just stopped in the middle of the damn road.Β πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Right in everyone’s way, forcing people to swing extremely wide just to get around her until she finally moved again.

βŒβž–Β Then on the way home, despite traveling 60 MPH myself, some jackass decided to zip around me so he could then ride the ass of another car farther in front of me, when he found himself stuck in a no-passing zone. πŸŽπŸ’¨ It didn’t bother me, but it was a dick move towards the car in front of me.

The lady who waited on me at the pharmacy was great, the guy that served me through the window at Rax was nice, and the cute girl at the drive-thru was friendly as well. I happened to be listening to Metallica when I pulled in, as was she there in the building, so she smiled and pointed out that she knows how to pick good music too. 😏

So, even though I listed all of those assholes and their asshole things, the trip in town was actually fine. I didn’t have to be anywhere urgently, none of what was happening was really affecting me, nor did I care to let it… but if it had been any other day, when I’d normally start off gritting my teefs before I even got in my car, then it may have been a different story. πŸ™‚