This Is How I Do… Unfortunately

Kinda overdid it yesterday, so I paid for it last night and today. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ Had a little boost of energy or motivation so I tried to make the most of it. First stop was Tim’s for some coffee, but then I headed over to Great Clips so Toni could cut my hair. She had several people that requested her before me, so I ended up waiting well over an hour. I had her do something a little different this time, but I’m not sure I like it… 50/50 odds that I’ll end up shaving my head before the week is over. ๐Ÿ˜

After that I went over to Walmart to get a new pair of shoes and some other crap. My old ones were actually worn through on the bottom, and since I prefer the look of boots – I did end up getting a steel-toed version. Of course that will set off the metal detectors at the IC place, and I’ll inevitably get the side-eye from someone about why I need steel-toed boots if I’m not working. ๐Ÿ™„ They’ll have to just take my word… they’re cheap, they last a long time, they look good, and they’re actually comfortable. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ What else can I say?

While I was there I finally stopped by the vision center and made my eye appointment. I’m tired of having a hard time driving at night because of my shitty old backup glasses with an Rx from years and years ago. ๐Ÿ˜  That adds another appointment to my already busy first-half of January, but I did have one thing fall off the calendar unexpectedly.

I’m not sure if it was a request from my attorneys, their attorneys, or something the IC just decided itself – but it looks like my hearing has been continued, with a rescheduled date yet to be determined. ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ˜• I’m not sure if it has something to do with the concurrent court case… meh… I suppose I should be glad that there’s a little more time before it goes down, but I don’t really need any more time. I wanna get things settled.

But the last thing yesterday… Bri was in town at her cousin’s place, so I stopped by there and dropped off her Christmas present that I got a little bit late. I also picked up a pack of Bertie Botts jelly beans for Brantley and me to try at random – and hope that we didn’t get the gross ones. ๐Ÿ˜ Out of four, the only good one I got was banana… and while he got a bunch of gross ones as well, he’d only bite them in half and then wanted me to eat the rest. ๐Ÿ˜„ I’m glad I picked that up at the last moment though, he had a ball with ’em.

Got home and realized that not only did I use up all of my social juice, but my neck was killing me as well. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ Went to bed early but woke up at 2:30 with my neck frozen. Took my morning meds a little early to fight that, and it ended up knocking me out around 10am until 2pm… so not only is my sleep screwed up, but my neck is still bad. ๐Ÿ˜  Gonna take a hot shower in a bit and then put a Salonpas patch on… that’s about all I can do.

Luckily no appointments tomorrow, so we’ll see how things go tonight.

Woozy

I’m glad when the weather is crappy on the days that I feel crappy. Today was one of those days, for both things. ๐Ÿ˜• It’s hotter than shit outside, but there was even a little bit of hail for a couple of minutes earlier. But I don’t know if it was something I ate or what, but yesterday afternoon through today… bleh… ๐Ÿคข Thankfully it never got to the point where I was kneeling at the porcelain throne, and I think that by the time I wake up tomorrow I’ll be alright. ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿป Might try to eat some soup later. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Even though I don’t accomplish a lot each day, being sorta laid up for an entire day is making me twitchy. I’ve got all these little things in my mind that I’d like to work on around here, some of which wouldn’t involve much more than sitting here at the laptop, so I’m hoping to maybe at least get some of that stuff done this evening – while being careful not to do anything to provoke the gurgle… heh

Maybe it was all those frozen taquitos the other day. ๐Ÿค”

Maybe, Possibly

Sitting here trying to get my brain out of “pause” and onto something productive. I’ve got a whole cabinet full of stuff that’s destined for eBay, but I just haven’t had the mental energy for it in a long, long time. I think I might be feeling some motivation today though… and I’ve already gone to eBay and updated a bunch of my information and settings, and I’ve got the desire to start listing – if not the actual motivation quite yet.

It’s difficult to explain how frozen I’ve been in my life over the past couple of years. I don’t do much around the house, I don’t do pretty much anything with friends anymore… I’m just here, existing through the day so I can exist again the next day and do the same. I don’t bring it up because I wanna explain or get in to it… but to just paint the picture of someone who is trapped in a moment as life passes by.

A few months ago I wouldn’t have even cared, so right now, feeling like I wanna start doing some stuff – whatever it might be – is definitely an improvement. Yeah, thinking about doing stuff barely counts more than not thinking about it… so it’s gonna be about pushing it from a thought into action. Right now at least, I feel like I might be able to start doing that. Meh… so yeah, that’s what my brain is spinning on today as I sit at the house.

Paused

I’m trying to make myself write a new entry… trying to make myself do anything. Just having an extremely bad stretch of days here, with paralyzing depression – but without sadness. It’s weird. I’m not sitting here dwelling on any one specific thing, I’m just kind of existing… waiting for this latest blast of “meh” to pass. I mean, I’ve got some stuff to talk about, but right now I just can’t. (Which, I know, seems odd since I’m able to sit here and produce the words that you’re reading right now.) Wish me luck. Hopefully I’ll feel better later this evening. It’s the weekend… everybody feels good on the weekend, right? ๐Ÿ˜’