Oops…

Obviously didn’t have the oomph for that “korean name” post that I was planning the other evening. It will still be coming… just whenever it decides to come. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ Got the gamma scan the other day, and actually felt a little worse afterwards this time. Everything went as planned, I wasn’t ever scolded for not holding still or anything – but 45 minutes to an hour lying in the machine just isn’t pleasant, especially when half of that was with my arms raised above my head, which is a position that my gimp shoulder obviously isn’t a fan of.

But you know how it goes… scan techs can’t tell you anything, other than knowing that they got the images they needed, and then I didn’t get a “next day” phone call from the thyroid doctor, so I’ll take that as a good sign. That way I have just started taking my meds as normal again, and I can get through this weekend without having to think about any of it too much hopefully.

And knowing how bad I’ve been feeling, and how I’m supposed to be avoiding people due to the radioactivity, Genesee had one of her friends drop off a bunch of food for me.ย ๐Ÿ™‚ย She basically got three or four entrees from Olive Garden, plus a big salad, slice of pie, and a bunch of cheese sticks. ๐Ÿ– That’s gonna help a lot, because my appetite is already low, as is my energy to get up and make anything to “make” myself eat, so having all that awesome food just ready to go whenever I want a few bites or more – it’ll last me through the weekend easily.

But yeah, just wanted to check in to report that everything went as planned with the scan, and that I get to treat this weekend like a weekend and not worry about any appointments or cooking or anything… so hopefully I can start to recharge my run-down ass.

Oh, and even though I still haven’t gotten on Facebook, I did see a couple posts through the Google News app, reminding me that the Perseid meteor shower happens over the next couple of nights. ๐Ÿ“น๐Ÿ˜ฏย So I’m gonna put all of the practice I’ve been doing (with planes and cars at night) to use – and hopefully will be awake to capture some of the streaks as they cross the sky. Luckily, my view from the front porch is just about the right direction for viewing. Gonna use ridiculously long exposures, to maintain the light trails despite the video playing at time-lapse speeds. ๐Ÿค“ย First thing I’ve felt a little bit excited about in a while, so hopefully my energy and the weather cooperates.

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Makes Sense

I’m gonna make a non-bleh post today… I just have to work up to having the energy to do it. After getting dosed yesterday and coming back home, I honestly didn’t feel any worse… but my gosh, from yesterday evening on… man, am I feeling physically awful. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคฎ I didn’t notice many side effects the first time I had this done, but I also hadn’t gone a month without thyroid meds, already having me weak and feeling like shit. So I should have been a little more prepared that things could feel worse than last time. ๐Ÿ˜ž

That’s not why I posted though. Next post is gonna be about me choosing my Korean name. ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ˜ And I know that sounds bizarre and random and “What are you talking about?” but when I do have the energy to explain it all, how it’s done, why I’m doing it… basically I just wanted to do something to distract my brain for a while yesterday, and later I’ll be able to make a post about it that will help me distract myself again. Hopefully. It’s actually a really interesting process. It’s a shame I don’t know any Korean people personally though, for them to tell me how goofy or old or weird my chosen name sounds. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

But I’m gonna lie back down and hopefully get a short nap to get rid of this headache, but hopefully I’ll be able to get back on here later tonight for all that stuff.

Nuclear Medicine

Had the same lady as last time give me the radioactive iodine dose today. I’m not sure if they all act this way, but she’s fun… not intentionally, but in the way that she makes it feel so dramatic. ๐Ÿ˜ And I get it, she works in that department every day, so a person’s gonna want to keep as far away from all the radioactive stuff as possible, so I don’t blame her. ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€โš•๏ธย …ย ๐Ÿฅข๐Ÿ’Šโ˜ข๏ธย ย ๐Ÿคขย It also has the side effect of making it seem like this pill is reallyย going to be doing something, whatever that something may be.

Before they even bring the pill in, she had me go through a practice run – having me put my hands exactly where they need to be, telling me how to get the pill out of the container without touching it or anything else, and then how to gtfo while having to pass near as few people as possible. Of course once the lead container is opened and the pill is out, she stays as far away from it and me as possible – but, probably just from habit, that’s mostly how she acts even through all of the tedious paperwork and talking beforehand.

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Don’t mind how dusty my entertainment screen is (or the custom commands ๐Ÿ˜), but I’ve decided to take this as a sign… this was the first song that played (at random)ย in the car as I left the hospital parking lot. (Video Link: Back to Life – Hailee Steinfeld)ย I’ll even give credit to Mom, since I was talking to her on the way in, asking that if she was able to give any help guiding the medicine during the process this morning, that I’d be happy to take it. ๐Ÿ˜Œย Oh, and they remarked how shit my thyroid levels are (in a good way, for the dose/scan anyway) and it’s no wonder I feel like utter shit and fall asleep all the time. So, there’s that. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

Still can’t start up my meds until after the scan, and until after the doctor has reviewed the results to make sure that they “came out okay” for lack of a better term. It’s a typical long test where you have to lie still in a tube for about 45 minutes, so there’s always a chance there could be some sort of blur or error or something, to where they’d wanna do it again in a few days or whatever. ๐Ÿคจ But with any luck, by this weekend I’ll be on my way “back to life” at least in as far as my thyroid and energy levels are concerned. ๐Ÿ€๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™‚

Unfortunately, I’ll have to avoid stuff likeย this until I’m less radioactive. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ Wish she could understand.

Something Like That

This heatwave that we’re currently going through… it’s a pretty good way to explain how I’ve been feeling over the past few days. Just go outside, walk around your property for about 15 minutes, then stand there a while… and that’s basically how I’ve been feeling each day all day. Again, not bitching, just trying to describe it in a way that people can understand.

Thankfully I’m almost half way through the process, so at least there’s a light at the end of the tunnel that I can look forward to. No matter what results I get, at least I can get back on my thyroid meds after the scan has been completed. It makes me feel bad for folks who have suffered with thyroid issues all of their lives, because the constant nausea, overheating, and dizziness… it’s no joke. Not thrilled that it has been made crystal clear that this will indeed be a medication that I’ll be taking for the rest of my life though.

I’m a cheap-ass, so I usually wouldn’t do this, but last night I turned the thermostat all the way down to 68 when I went to bed. I knew I’d be sleeping at least part way into the day and the house would heat up quickly, but despite it staying that cool in the house – I woke up early and completely drenched in sweat again. (Also… gross.) That’s why I mention how far along I am in the process… because if I didn’t know that there was an end to this, it would be some scary shit.

I’ve been drinking a lot more water, so the muscle spasms and dehydration hopefully won’t become an issue. It’s pretty shitty though, that the insurance industry has decided that this is an acceptable thing for patients to go through while preparing for their second radiation dosage. The alternative way, staying on your meds and just getting two injections before the scan… that costs several thousand dollars, so I guess you can’t blame them for trying to find somewhere to cut costs in what has likely been a very expensive surgery.

Again though, knowing that this is a temporary thing for me, it really makes me feel for those folks who don’t have insurance at all, and even for the people that do but have a chronic condition that still isn’t covered by their plan for whatever reason. As with most things like this, it’s something that we don’t think much about until it starts to affect us personally. So, yeah… still feeling super awful… and I feel like it’s continuing to slowly get worse, but I’ll be good as long I just keep reminding myself…

“It’s only temporary. It’s the lack of meds, not anything more scary. You’ll have more answers soon. Just (n) more days and this will all be over. Consider yourself blessed that you’ve made it this far. Plenty of other people have it worse than you, and it’s not temporary for them. Yeah, it sucks… but don’t be a pussy. It’s only temporary.” etc…

I’m trying to stay positive. I need to stay positive.

“Feels Like 109”

I had only been checking the upcoming weather for rain, thinking about my grass… but this evening I got an alert on my phone, advising about the extreme heat warning that will be in effect until Saturday evening for basically all of Ohio. ๐Ÿ˜ณ I’m pretty sure I haven’t mentioned this, but I’ve already had two “spells” where I was outside for a relatively short time (but in the heat) where I got lightheaded and woozy enough that I knew it was time to get my ass back inside. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿคข

So it was strange when I saw that alert. Something whereย (up until recently)ย normally I’d just grumble to myself and move on, but when I read that the heat index could reach 109 degrees it actually made me anxious enough that I momentarily got butterflies in my stomach. ๐Ÿ˜• Heh… I know that sounds stupid, but heat regulation is an issue for me right now, and seeing that number… I mean, holy shit. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฅย NBC4’s weather people are already talking about the “cool down” next week… but they’re still talking about low-to-mid 80s. ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜’ It feels like this miserable weather is never gonna end.

Thank God that me and most folks I know have AC, but there areย folks that I know who only have fans… and it does cause me to have concern for them. Places are giving away fans, the power companies talking about preparing for extra load on the system, various buildings will be operating as “cool centers” for people… ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ so I suppose all of the “scary” talk, combined with how I feel, is probably making me worry for those other folks more than I maybe need to. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜• But yeah, next couple of days are gonna be rough.

Everybody, please try to keep as cool as you can… stay safe…

Checking Off Boxes

Typical “workers comp, beginning of the month, get my scripts filled” day today. Three different calls to the pharmacy, issues with my information in the computer, problems with certain ones not being approved… same bullshit as usual, except due to the incorrect information in their system I even had to stop in myself, with receipts and printouts and crap from last month. The folks that work there are great. It’s never the people there that I have a problem with… and after my visit we think everything is now updated, correct, and in process of being authorized – so maybe sometime today I’ll actually be able to pick them up.

I had to be out today anyway, so stopping in to get all this stuff sorted out wasn’t a big deal. I mean, I actually feel kinda bad for them – with how much of a pain in the ass “my case” is for them each month. It makes me wonder if any pharmacies have ever decided that certain customers’ situations were just too much work, too many calls, and too big of a PITA – and just told them to take their business elsewhere. ‘Cuz I can see how they could feel that way about me, if they weren’t such understanding and helpful folks.

But at my other stops, along with having several vials of blood drawn, we’ve started getting a lot more things set in stone. I’ve now got dates (if not exact times, yet) for the next blood draw, the administration of the radiation dose, how long I’ll need to stay away from people (which included rearranging another unrelated doctor appointment), when the full scan at FMC will be, and then the followup with my main thyroid doctor after all of the results are back and interpreted.

It’s surreal… how this is such a “big deal mind fuck” thing for me as I’m going through it, yet I’m just one of many. There are enough people needing this kind of treatment that once a week, every week, it’s radioactive “dosing day” for thyroid patients at FMC. But for whatever reason, even as you’re out in town, seeing other people doing whatever… it’s easy to feel like you’re the only person going through this shit, while actually we probably pass by people each day who are going through the same thing or worse. Working in nuclear medicine, giving the doses… I can see how that job could start feeling pretty heavy after a short while.

Rambling Elaboration

Yesterday’s entry was admittedly pretty bleak… but not all of yesterday was completely full of suck, so I figured I should come back in here and sprinkle a little bit of that “good” around – even though I know it won’t really do much to balance out the tone of the blog lately or overall. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜•

Knowing that soon I’ll be runnin’ completely without my thyroid meds, there were a few things inside and outside of the house that I wanted to get to… just in case the next several weeks are as “challenging” as I’m expecting them to be. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ The inside stuff was whatever… but the outside stuff, that’s the kind of stuff that kicks my ass even when I’m at my relative best these days. It also didn’t help that it was still 87 degrees in the late afternoon, when I finally went outside, since “waiting for the heat to die down” wasn’t really gonna work unless I intended to do my yard work in the dark.

When they took out my line of bushes, they plucked about a 1/3 of them, and the remaining 2/3 were cut off at the base – as close to the ground as possible. I told Jason that I had plenty of poison spray when they were doing it, and he suggested that after they were done I should probably go out and hit all the remaining “nubs” in the ground, to discourage them from trying to make a comeback – and to hopefully make them brittle enough that anything still above ground will eventually just start breaking off. So, that was mini-project number one, and luckily I didn’t need my cane nor did I have any neighbors eyeballing me as I worked.

I still had juice left in the sprayer when I was done, so I started hitting weeds along the fence, under a bunch of the evergreen bushes, all over the empty-but-weedy spot (where a big bush used to be) beside the garage, and then all around the AC unit just to make sure nothing considers growing up around it. I was sweating balls at this point. Actually, I was sweating balls within the first 10 minutes of being outside… but yeah, it was time for a break in the cool air inside.

It felt nice, but when it became obvious that I wasn’t gonna stop sweating, I sucked it up and went back outside. I’ve got a couple different sprays for spiders, wasps, bees, and ants – so I treated all the areas that needed it. ๐Ÿ˜ท Front porch got most of the spider attention, back porch had the bees, and then I sprayed what amounts to an “ant barrier” at the bottom and lowers sides of all of the doors that go outside or into the garage. (They’re a fan of Maven’s messy eating habits, usually leaving bits of cat food on the floor for them to sniff out and come after.)ย Bugs don’t really count as “critters” I suppose, but I still hate to be an exterminator. ๐Ÿ˜• But when they won’t stay outside, or try to take over certain areas when they do, they’ve gotta go.

Don’t you love how I can take “Sprayed some poison on the bush stumps and weeds, then killed some bugs” and turn it into a multi-paragraph blog entry? This time it’s intended… to make it sound as time-consuming and exhausting as it actually was. ๐Ÿ˜“ I ended up sweating so much that the mosquito repellent finally quit working, but I had done everything that I wanted – so it was time for a shower, and to stop friggin’ sweating.

Throughout the process, I learned that I have another mutant ability. ๐Ÿ™„ I can work outside for a little less than an hour, come inside into the cold air conditioning, take a shower to get all the stink, grass, and stray poison mist off of me… but I can continue sweating for a full two hours after everything was done and I should have been good. ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ I’m guessing it’s a thyroid thing that I just hadn’t discovered yet, since I’m usually too gimpy to work that much outside. But yeah… cool shower, cold air, and two more hours of sitting here with a towel to keep drying myself off.

It’s fine though… because as much as this all might sound like bitching, it felt good to accomplish so many things when there were so many other things trying to mentally or physically discourage me from doing so. Until I started to not be able to do a lot of things, I didn’t realize how important that it could be to be able to do something with purpose. So even though this stuff is probably most people’s typical weekend, it’s my little thing to grab hold of and feel good about. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

And, obviously, I have to take what I get when it comes to stuff like that these days.