The Positive One

Okay, so here’s the “positive” entry for today… heh…

It’s just a bit before midnight, and I actually did switch gears in the afternoon and made something of the second half of the day. It’s getting predictable though, the way I wake up feeling miserable, wait for the morning meds to kick in while I catch up on a little bit of news, and then I end up “waiting to do anything” until I watch DeWine and Acton’s daily briefing because it’s usually close to the same time that I’m starting to actually get some oomph.

And as it often goes, just because I managed to do some stuff, it doesn’t necessarily mean it was the stuff that I originally had in mind in the morning. But it’s all good… feeling like I was at least a little bit productive today, and I’m actually waiting on a second load of laundry to finish drying so I can get it hung / folded / put away before I go to sleep tonight.

I dunno, the second part of the day turned into a dry run for tomorrow, attitude wise. I’m not gonna do any real shopping, but I am gonna run to a quicky mart somewhere to grab some pop and chips, and then drop Dad’s Diet Dew off for him before I head back home. I suppose I could go through a drive thru, but I actually wanna make myself go in somewhere. It’s dumb, but I could see where the more “open” that stuff gets, the less that I’ll be able to go inside anywhere. And that’s smart, to a point, but it’s not something that I can avoid indefinitely. And I’ve got masks… so, yeah, once the meds kick in tomorrow I’m gonna head out for that.

Did some texting with a few friends in the evening, and every one of us weren’t having a great day… so it was a matter of the blind leading the blind as we all tried to say things to lessen each other’s anxiety. It’s funny, and I actually mentioned this to someone… but knowing that pretty much everyone is messed up by the current situation, and it’s not just me, it kinda makes us all feel better – sharing the crazy, so to speak.

But once the sun went down and the texting slowed, I kept finding myself “forgetting” what’s going on outside. Depending on what videos or shows that I was watching, I could go a whole hour where it wasn’t in my mind and I was just having a normal night at home. That’s a good feeling, but that means for every calm period that I had, I also had that jolt of “remembering” that brought the “ugh” back to my brain repeatedly.

But I’m gonna get the laundry done here in a minute, and hopefully find a movie that I can watch as I lie in bed. Not sleepy yet, but still feeling alright, so I’m gonna try to hang on to that until I zonk out to see if it has any effect on how I wake up tomorrow. Lately it’s been bad, but I’ll stay optimistic for now. Stay safe, y’all. (And I can’t be bothered with emojis tonight, so just picture them where you think I’d normally have em… heh)

Not Yet

It’s a deceptively beautiful day outside so far today, but I don’t think I’m ready to make a trip to the store like I was considering quite yet. My brain hasn’t really made it out of “weekend” mode, and after a night of bad dreams and waking up in a cold sweat a few times – I’m finding it easier to kinda just sit here with the doors open, trying to absorb some of the “nice” while I plan a few things I need to work on later this afternoon.

I think, lingering in the background processes of my brain, the way that a lot of the country is planning to “re-open” is filling me with an ominous feeling. 😳 Since not every state practiced a well-thought, simultaneous “shelter at home” order along with every other state – the effectiveness of such precautions has already been damaged. Sure, your state will have lower numbers while they individually practice such restrictions, but if surrounding states aren’t being as careful and allow their infection numbers to grow, what do you think’s gonna happen when your state decides to relax their rules?

You may have seen the videos on Twitter or the news… where, just because rules have been relaxed, hundreds of people decided to pour into the streets, the parks, the sidewalks, the beaches… basically just because they haven’t been allowed to for so long, and now they can. Good for them? πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜Ÿ And when reporters ask them why they’re out and mingling with others, it’s almost always a “Because I can!” / “Because it’s our right as ‘murricans!” type of answer. Awesome. 😐 Way to prove a point. 😐 Job well done. 😐

If you look at the actual numbers though, you’ll see that we’re getting ready to open back up right at the time when people should be recognizing that the isolation is making a difference, and that if all states keep/start doing it, the downward trends should continue. But no, politicians are obviously gung-ho about opening up, the citizens hear the optimism, and far too many of them are now thinking and acting like the danger has passed and there’s less (or no) need for precautions. 😞 And in a further display of stupidity, our governor was going to mandate that for the time being – employees of stores and their customers must all wear masks. Sounds like a responsible idea, right? Well, he had to go back on that because of public outcry, of people being that vocal that they shouldn’t have to wear a mask, and so he not only backtracked on that – but essentially apologized for it by saying that they “went too far” with that rule.

It’s just amazing to me that there are that many people bitching about having to wear a mask. Something to protect them. Something to protect employees. Something to protect everyone by lowering the transmission rate. Who are these angry people? Who could be so selfish to angrily protest such a rule, others be damned? ☹️ It blows my mind…

So, yeah, I was originally gonna go out today and get pop for me and Dad, along with some other stuff, but obviously with all of that stuff swirling around in my thoughts, today isn’t the day for me to go out and do that. Especially since it’s likely that there will be a lot more folks out today than before. It’s just a creepy feeling to live in a state where so many people are vocally and angrily opposed to cooperating with a very simple precaution. 😟 Yeah, that’s not most people, but it doesn’t take many careless or indifferent infected people to cough or smear their cooties all over the place and ruin it for everyone else.

If anything, the state starting to “open up” is more likely to make me stay at home. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ It’s like if you’re at the beach and there’s been a shark warning – but the lifeguard says it’s all clear now, and people can return to the water if they want. 😧 You’ll have plenty of people who go running in, neck-deep… meanwhile, my ass would stay planted in the sand as I watched the water to see what happened. πŸ˜ŸπŸ€” That’s what right now feels like to me… the time to watch from the safety of my living room for a while, to see what’s gonna happen. πŸ₯Ί And if this virus is anything like what most doctors are saying, “what happens” ain’t gonna be good.

Another heavy blog entry… I’ll try to balance it out with something lighter this evening. 🀞🏻 My mood isn’t actually that bad otherwise, it’s just taking me a lot longer to get mentally and physically moving today than I’d prefer. I’ve got workers comp / settlement mail that I’ve yet to read, and then wanna do some typical straightening up around the living room and bedroom… so if I’m hard to reach today, I’m probably just trying to do something to make myself feel productive and normal. πŸ™‚

Same Day Service

I woke up around 8am today, after falling asleep around 1am. 😡 The power had gone out around midnight for some reason, and it’s almost impossible for me to fall asleep without a TV making some noise and light… so my substitute was playing Netflix on my phone until the battery finally died. πŸ˜’ But anyway, I was awake way too early, and I was way too grumpy, so I hopped in the shower to un-fuck my neck and shoulder a bit and then plopped down in the living room to catch up on the news. πŸ€¨πŸΏπŸ“Ί

About an hour later I got a text from Cassi, asking me to give her a call (FaceTime) when I woke up. She woke up to one of her kitties crying and having a bad reaction to something, with his eyes being a little swollen and his inner eyelid things half-covering his eyes. 😧 She said it would come and go, but she still asked if I’d be willing to come get them and take them to a vet in Buckeye Lake that could see them a few hours later.

And actually, I didn’t mind. I wasn’t yet in the mood to do shit with my day, so having an “emergency” pop up where my presence would be helpful… it actually made me feel good, being worth a shit to someone other than myself for at least part of the day. 😏 It’s a remarkable facility, for being on the edge of crappy ol’ Buckeye Lake. Huge place with lots of rooms, separate waiting areas for cats and dogs, boarding area, grooming area, various food and supplies, etc. I’d bet that they handle most of the critter care business in the upper-Fairfield / lower-Licking county areas.

They did a blood test to make sure it wasn’t any of the “more scary” things that it could have been, and the doctor gave her best educated guess that it was some sort of typical infection that rescue cats tend to get. πŸ˜ΏπŸ‘©πŸ»β€βš•οΈπŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ He was actually looking much better by the time we got there, of course, but Cassi had plenty of pictures to help with the diagnosis. So we were back on our way with a little bottle of antibiotic juice that he’ll get once a day for the next couple of weeks. Hopefully that’ll do the trick.

I ended up staying and talking to her for a couple of hours once we got back to their place, so it was kinda nice to not only be helpful to her and a sick kitty, but also to get that unexpected chill time that we usually only get a couple times a month. 😊 I ended up spending the better part of my day on all that, and of course I ended up coming home near the end of rush hour, so by the time I got home I was ready to call it a day. 😣 It’s all well and good when I’m out in the middle of something, but when it’s over and it’s time for me to be home – I wanna be home. πŸ˜…