Awesome Timing, Thanks

I went and saw the new “physician’s assistant” fella yesterday. He first confirmed that Dr Walter is still my doctor of record and that everything will still go through him… but hopefully after this initial “getting to know each other” appointment (for which I’m sure he’ll have to confer with Dr Walter at least this time) he’ll be able to handle most everything while leaving Dr Walter’s time free to help patients that can actually still be helped, patched up, or even repaired. That’s where his time should go.

Thankfully though, I really like this guy. Dr Walter and I have a decade of history from me going to that clinic for the same problem… so, obviously, even starting to get new guy on the same page as us would be impossible in one visit. But that didn’t stop him from intently listening to everything I said, as well as already offering his preliminary thoughts and ideas about my condition and treatment. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but the positive vibes were a pleasant surprise. I mean, it was really a crap shoot (what type of doctor I could have ended up with) but I should have known that their office wouldn’t hire a jackass when not a single one of them already there acts that way.

Okay, so that was the good part of the visit. Nothing has changed yet, but I told him that I appreciated having “new eyes” looking at the situation, and letting him know that I am willing to try changing some things up if he, Dr Walter, and I think that it could help with the problems which have slowly been getting worse over the months and years. I then began the walk to the front of the office to make my next appointment and hit the road, when I was told that Laura, the workers’ comp “saint” of the practice, needed to see me before I left.

She told me that my case manager contacted them and told them that I was non-compliant with my scheduled appointments, and that I was also non-compliant with getting my medications filled each month. Now, Laura has been there since the beginning with me, so she (like me) knew that what the case worker was saying was complete bunk. Before I could even say anything, Laura told me that she had already faxed more than sixty pages worth of documentation to them, to let them know that they are either full of crap and are trying to jerk me around again, or that they are incompetent. (My words, not hers.) I mean, how many times have I bitched here myself about how nearly every damn month I have to make multiple calls, multiple visits to the pharmacy, and often still I’m not “allowed” my medications until days after they’ve forced me to run out?

Based on what they are claiming, they are now only willing to pay for one doctor visit every three months – while certain medications that I take require me to be seen every thirty days. (And it sure sounds like their eventual goal may be to straight up “kick me out” or void their obligation to me.) So, this is what I have to deal with now. And I really need some dumb shit like this, right now, when my plate is already overflowing with stuff that is pushing my health and emotions to their limits.

But that’s what I’ll be doing tomorrow, gathering up all of the current information about whoever is my acting case manager, figuring out which of my attorneys handles this type of issue, and probably trying to figure out how to get records from my pharmacy – and maybe a statement from the pharmacy techs who know how I regularly get the runaround – and get everything in some kind of order, to where I can start making calls on Friday.

I had a good day today, and I do want to blog about it at some point, but I’m still furious about this. Yes, it’s all easily, easily refutable… and there’s absolutely no way that I won’t win if this gets forced into another IC hearing or actual court case… but the fact that I have to do it at all, and that they still seem determined to deny me as much of my treatment as they can. I don’t understand how any human could or would take a job like that, where if they complete their task or reach their goal, a person’s life is ruined.

If I keep talking about it I’m not going to be able to sleep again tonight, but that’s the gist of how my Wednesday went. I’m glad Genesee is still in town, because today I had to just pretend that yesterday didn’t happen… just for this one day, so that my brain wouldn’t have a meltdown from immediately trying to fix all of this. I already spent the entirety of Tuesday night through dawn on Wednesday wide-awake, sitting in bed with my phone, looking up countless things regarding my case and treatment, and sending them to the printer so I could compile and highlight them later.

When there is a reliable, well-documented, years-long pattern of delaying or denying a patient’s medication or treatment, when multiple hearings and court cases have already made it clear that the patient is legally entitled to all of it… even if it’s done in a way that technically isn’t in violation of their obligation – you’d still think it might reach a point where a judge would see that it’s nothing less than harassment, and I have to believe that one of that patient’s litigating attorneys would smell blood in the water at that point, so to speak. I’m not a squeaky wheel. Why do they want to push it to that point?

(Okay, tomorrow’s entry will be a positive one. I just had to let this out, for better or worse.)

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Preparation

Yesterday was a strange day. 😐 I feel good, having completed a bunch of stuff that I felt needed completing, but the nature of the stuff left me feeling a little uneasy – and definitely unable to fall asleep at a normal hour. 😕 Despite that, I managed to have some awesome dreams. Awesome enough to have actually woken me up every hour or so – but of course I can’t remember a single detail at the moment. 😠 I’m just lucky that they weren’t about the topic at hand yesterday.

Of course I expect my upcoming surgery to go fine, but being the type of person that I am I’ve gone into “prepare” mode – just in case it doesn’t. 😳 As part of that preparation process, I spent a good amount of time typing out letters to my cousin Jim and my ex-wife Genesee, as they would be the ones handling everything in the event that things need to be handled. Those letters are just my way of easing them into the process. (Since I was the executor for my aunt, I learned a few tips and tricks.)

They won’t even get those letters unless the situation calls for it, so that allowed me to be a little more free with what I said… but for the most part it was just explaining my will, explaining my wishes when it came to my personal belongings, explaining a good deal about how the process will go, and what they will need to do to keep things moving along, hopefully without too many hiccups and at a reasonable pace. 😎 It’s a lot to ask of someone, so I also made sure that my appreciation was made super clear.

But between the several pages that I wrote for Mongo, and then the three pages that I wrote for Gen… I was just doing a whole lot of thinking about a topic that nobody wants to have to think about. It wasn’t all bad… in fact, a lot of the thinking that I did was about good memories, good times, good things with family and friends, etc. 😊 Oh, and I’m up to 19 separate audio recordings when it comes to the little archive of messages that I’m recording for people to have and listen to after I’m gone… which, like I said, I don’t anticipate happening for a good long while. 🙂 I’m actually really enjoying doing that.

Don’t take this the wrong way. 🤨 All of this preparation is just being done out of necessity, and it’s something that any responsible person would want to do before a major surgery. 🤷🏻‍♂️👨🏻‍⚕️ It can just really mess with your head when you end up dwelling on the topic for too long. I’m still good though, and I know everyone that loves me has my back. 😏 I’m still optimistic about this surgery, I’m gonna get through it, and then whatever is next is next. One step at a time.

Sunday Didn’t Count

When I write here, I need to start focusing more on what I did, rather than what I’m gonna do… ‘cuz my plans for “what I’m gonna do” rarely go as planned. 😏 I didn’t get my lazy day yesterday, since I didn’t sleep the night before and ended up finally falling asleep at 7pm – after 36 hours of awake time. 😯 I think that doing doctor / medical research all day on Saturday just kept my brain spinning… but I did make it to Lancaster on Sunday to see Dad and Mom like I had planned. 👍🏻 But yeah, this 12-36-12 / asleep-awake-asleep thing isn’t gonna work for me.

Except for a few things, I’ll probably leave it in neutral for most of the day today. That way I’ll maybe get that lazy day that the weekend owes me. 🙂🤷🏻‍♂️ I don’t think it’ll make that much difference to all my “stuff” if I take a knee for the day.

Maybe Tonight

I got a message yesterday that Dad had to go to the hospital and that they were gonna keep him to check on some things, but since my sleep was all screwed up I decided that I’d just go to bed early last night and head in this morning to see what was up… but of course my brain couldn’t let it be that simple. 😒

To bed at midnight, asleep for maybe 15 minutes, then awake through 1am… 2am… asleep for 30 minutes, awake at 3am… all the way through to 7am, when I finally fell asleep for a whopping 45 minutes. 😑 I’ve been up since then. And it’s going on 9pm now. I know, that’s a lot of numbers, but it’s the same old shit – I knew I absolutely had to go to sleep so that I could get up early, which then made it impossible for me to go to sleep so that I could get up early. 🙄

Heh… then I was worried that I would fall asleep and end up sleeping for 10 hours or something, and Dad would think I was just pissing my day away doing something else. My brain is so much fun sometimes.

I did finally drag my tired ass out of the house and into town in the early afternoon, and even though he’s definitely not feeling great, it sounds like he’s on the path to recovery, so that was good news. 🙂 It actually made me feel a lot better, despite feeling sleep deprived and a little sick myself, and I think that’s what gave me the boost that’s kept me going into the evening. 🤷🏻‍♂️

I gotta believe I’m gonna sleep at least okay tonight… right? 🤞🏻

Survived Human Exposure

Not stoked that it’s 1:30a and I’m not even remotely tired… but it’s probably because I ended up having a pretty decent day out of the house, so my brain is still working to process it all. 🤷🏻‍♂️ That’s my guess anyway, because I got up stinkin’ early and I should be sacked out by now. Meh… it was nice to have a non-crap day for a change though.

My first intended stop was Great Clips, but I drove by and noticed that my cousin’s car wasn’t there – and I wasn’t ready to make small talk with some random chick as she cut my hair. 🤨 I should have texted her first, but whatever… I’ll get there eventually. After that I hit a couple of thrift stores and came away with a whole lot of nothin’ despite my looking. I’ve been having a dry spell… not only with game or collectible/sell-able stuff, but even with clothes.

Having finished my overnight cat-sitting duties, I returned the kitties to their home. They’re not the biggest fan of car travel, and they were hollering and letting me know it as we drove, but all’s well that end’s well. I also stopped off at Toys R Us, a place I haven’t been for easily a decade, because I wanted to pick up one of the Tiny Arcade machines out of curiosity. (I want them all… heh) It’s weird… same building/location as when I was a kid, but totally different inside with zero familiarity. Impressive selection though.

Because Of Course

I’ve been awake for about 27 hours now… heh… couldn’t fall asleep no matter how hard I tried. Not in the bedroom, not in the recliner, not with the TV on, not with the TV off, not with the ceiling fan on, etc. 😏 At least I’ve crossed some weird barrier now and I’m more slap-happy than annoyed by it.

But wait, it doesn’t stop there. 🙄 Moments ago I finally passed that goddamned kidney stone. 😅 If anyone would have been walking outside near my bathroom window, they’d have definitely heard me sing a song of surprise. I mean, I knew I had some kidney stuff going on, but the pain lightened up a couple days ago – but that’s apparently because it was a little further down the highway and looking for its exit. 😖 Heh… I know this is a little TMI, but whatever… it’s just a stone.

I’m still not holding my breath though. I wouldn’t put it past my one kidney to make a stone and send it on its journey, only for the other kidney to get jealous and decide to do the same. 😏 But no, don’t get it twisted… ejecting it from your body isn’t the problem, whether you’re male or female – it’s when it’s leaving your kidney, with its jagged little asshole shard edges tearing shit up along the waythat’s what’ll have you balled up on the floor.

Plz send positive juju. I need it right now… heh