Same Ol’ Song and Dance

Ended up staying awake for 28 hours straight, then slept from 8a to 3p today… so now I’m likely to be up all night, which doesn’t really help with my plans for tomorrow in the early afternoon. I’ll keep my fingers crossed regarding that, but man… so glad to finally have my medication in hand. It took some oomph to get up and go in town to get it, but yeah… this month was ridiculous when it came to getting these filled. They weren’t even new scripts, just refills.

If I didn’t know how much I’d hurt, and how negatively my ability would be affected, I’d try to wean myself off of this shit. Not only do I have to go through this routine nearly every month, but in the days leading up to when I call for my refills – I’m already starting to worry what type of clusterfuck will happen this time, that will end up with me going through temporary withdrawals. So basically 1/3 of every month is either spent worrying about my refills, waiting for my refills, or suffering withdrawals from being delayed from getting my refills.

Gah… so tired of it. But yeah, I think frustration built up over the past couple of days, which is why I ended up barfing out those two super-long recent blog entries about all the stuff going on down in Florida. I needed something to take my mind off of how I was feeling, and that seemed to do the trick. But it looks like I’m going to have to set back even more of my meds for the end of the month from here on out. Shouldn’t have to short myself each day just to make sure I don’t run out when I get screwed over, but yeah, I guess that’s what I have to do.

Believe it or not, even though my court case was back in the middle of February, they still haven’t made a determination. That might account for some of the delay, if they were waiting and hoping that I’d lose my right to those meds, but who knows. Whenever I do get a chance to talk to my lawyers next though, I do intend to point out what’s being done each month to see if there’s something that they can do – or even if it could be seen as some sort of spiteful or unjust action that could carry some sort of penalties for them.

Reality tells me there’s not shit they can do, that I can be yanked around basically as much as they wanna yank me around, and that it’s up to me to figure out how to protect myself towards the end of each month. Ahh, what a feeling.

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The Purge

I’m trying to motivate myself to continue the work that I’ve been doing around the house. I moved my desk and desktop PC into the living room, effectively making the back bedroom “without purpose” and currently just serving as storage for that stuff that I want to sell or donate away. 🤔 If I do a couple more things in the living room it will be how I want it, with the stuff that I want in it, and I can move on to other rooms.

I just have a ridiculous amount of stuff for one person… much of it inherited when I moved into this house. 🙇🏻‍♂️ There are sentimental things, which will of course be kept / saved, but there’s plenty of “just stuff” stuff that can just go. 😏 I think I need to rid myself of the excess so that, if I decide to do so, I’ll be able to pack up and move out of here without it being as huge of a pain in the ass that it might be otherwise.

A few people have mentioned to me that the older you get, the less important “stuff” truly is to you. 🤷🏻‍♂️ And, feeling like I’ve aged a couple of decades in the past couple of years, I have to admit that I feel somewhat the same. I mean, I’m not interested in liquidating everything that I own… but yeah, there’s a point where “more stuff” is just more hassle, whether actively or just because it sits in the back of my mind, knowing it’s there and should be managed or dealt with or whatever. 🙄 So, for a lot of people, the idea of getting rid of as much excess as possible… it’s not that strange.

Believe it or not, if I had all of the rubbermaid tubs of family memorabilia tucked away in a storage unit, I could honestly get rid of most everything else in this house and still be happy. 🙂 Heh… it’s like the way my friend Jim lived for a long time. He had a two bedroom apartment, but one bedroom was only used to store stuff, he had no dining room table, no living room furniture, and was quite content with his bedroom set up awesomely enough that he never felt the need to spend much time in any of the other rooms. 😄 I thought it was weird at the time, but I can see how it would feel freeing now…