Predicted? Or Jinxed…

Stayed up late last night, not only trying to get some pics of the lightning, but also watching the delayed Southern 500 which didn’t finish until 2am. I had a feeling… wasn’t really sleepy even at that hour, my neck was feeling different, so I didn’t end up falling asleep for good until around 4a – and at that, it was with the idea of trying to “sleep carefully” so I didn’t wake up with my neck feeling even worse. πŸ˜’ It worked, but only because every time I would stir in my sleep, I’d wake up a little too much – making sure that I wasn’t being rough on my neck. Meh… so five hours of not-so-solid sleep… not in the greatest mood today.

And even using a “lightning capture” app to cheat a bit, I still wasn’t able to capture a single decent photo last night. If I didn’t have the ISO and exposure either too high or too low, resulting in images that were too dark or too blown out – the other problem was just the thickness and multiple layers of the clouds. πŸ˜‘ When the lightning wasn’t bright enough it was just obscured by the clouds, and when it was bright enough – it was like a strobe light going off in the middle of a huge ball of cotton. Just no definition.

So I think today I’ll do the bills, catch up on laundry, just general meh stuff around the house. Once the week actually starts tomorrow, that’s when I’ll have to start worrying about oil changes, glasses, haircuts, and all the other “out and dealing with people” stuff… so keeping to myself and just getting some minor chores done around here actually sounds like the most appealing way to spend my time today, believe it or not. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜•

I’m sure as my morning meds kick in I’ll start to feel better, along with mentally feeling better about getting some random shit done around here. πŸ™‚ I’m just never good when I first wake up, especially when I basically predicted last night that my neck would be an issue and that I’d be glad that today was still part of the 3-day weekend. πŸ™„ Just gonna tune the world out as much as possible, put on some music, and do my thing.

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Sweet Corn Fest

I feel like I’m gonna be back to “good” tomorrow, but I’m still glad that it’s a three-day weekend so I don’t feel like I have to do anything tomorrow, should I wake up still feeling a little off. I probably should have been more prepared that several hours of walking around the festival could drain me more than I thought it would, considering it was my first big “thing” after starting to feel close to normal thanks to the thyroid meds. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ™‚

I’m fine, it’s just that frustrating sluggishness that I can’t “mind over matter” myself out of just yet. πŸ˜’

That’s probably why when I got home that night I was a little more “meh” about the evening than I’d normally be. I just expected more out of myself… but hey, 3.5 hours isn’t nothing… and it’s actually pretty damn good, considering everything. πŸ™‚ So yeah, the trip was fine, it was good to see Jim and Adam again, and despite not seeing any former classmates or anyone that we knew really, it still felt good to keep up the tradition. There have been more changes over the past couple of years though than in the decade or two prior. πŸ€”πŸ€¨ I probably should have taken pictures of the things that were significantly different, but once I took a handful of shots of the rides, Adam showed up and I kinda just abandoned photo mode.

The weather wasn’t great, so all the pics just have a bleh gray background, and then once the sun went down… I guess I could have tried to do some long exposure pics of the rides, but we were just too busy walkin’ and talkin’ for me to wanna bother. So I guess that’s a good thing. Next year, when I’m hopefully feeling even better, I think I might actually go twice… once for tradition night, and once for just wandering by myself at my own pace, eating whatever, taking pics of whatever, playing whatever games, etc. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜

Trial and Error

My little afternoon and evening of “doing shit” yesterday… it went pretty good, but then when it was time for when I’d normally fall asleep or at least start getting sleepy, my body just wouldn’t go into bedtime mode. πŸ˜’ I wasn’t stressing over anything, wasn’t hurting too bad… but just ended up lying in bed from 11p until almost 5a when I think I finally fell asleep. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈΒ (I even put on “boring” episodes of Star Trek: TNG so I wouldn’t be too distracted, but still have the ambient noise I need to sleep.)

Woke up around noon, so I got a decent amount of sleep, but that’s something that I’ll have to keep in mind now… trying to make sure I’m done “doing stuff” way before it’s time for bed – since for whatever reason, it causes me to stay awake way longer than usual. Meh… no big deal really, just more trial and error as I try to get back on track. Oh, and the post from earlier this morning – I actually wrote that around 3am I think, and just scheduled it to post around 11am since I knew I probably wouldn’t be up. 😏

Quick-ish Check-In

Having a bleh few days lately. πŸ˜•πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Β Waiting ’til the end of the week before I get my scan results, thinking about eventually having to deal with other neck and spine stuff, not getting my energy back as quick as I thought after the month off thyroid meds and radioactive iodine dose – then just other random crappy stuff going on with various friends and family… I dunno, it’s just been a lot lately.

I just have to remind myself that I don’t have to do anything today… it’s just tough when I’m backed up on laundry and shopping and all that sorta stuff from when I was out of commission for a while there, and part of me is anxious to get things back into some kind of order. πŸ˜’ But not today. I wanna try to take a day off… not worrying about my shit, not worrying about anyone else’s shit… and at least I have Maven’s grooming almost completely done and she seems pretty happy about that, so…

It’s a weird thing when you’re sick or have something health-related going on. Of course friends and family are going to care, and they’re gonna want to reach out and ask about it or talk about it – when the last thing I want to do right now is talk to anyone about it.Β  People care, which is great, but man would it be nice if I didn’t have to think about it for at least a day, ya know? That’s actually how I let a few people know about my neck stuff… let them know that some new stuff will eventually be going on, but that I didn’t really wanna talk about it, and that’s basically working.

But I picked today as a “nothing” day because tomorrow can’t be… ‘cuz all of my cupboards and the fridge are nearly empty, as is the container of beast food, so I have no choice but to go out tomorrow and do some real shopping. My physical oomph is still returning at some kind of pace, so that shouldn’t be a problem… it’s just mentally getting up, going out, and doing the trivial things when my brain’s kinda full… bleh.

So yeah, I’m okay here… just feeling a little sorry for myself, a little sorry for other people, and reassuring myself that it’s okay to feel bad for a while when there’s so much to feel bad about, ya know? πŸ€”πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ And going “ugh” that I can’t make excuses for not going out tomorrow to shop… heh… because sometimes you just need to sit and feel how you need to feel for a while, so you can get past it and on with things.

EDIT:Β LightningMaps is also giving me a good excuse to not go out today as well. But it does give me a reason to charge up my phone, in case I feel time-lapsey. Except it looks like it’s headed north of here…

Ranting To Feel Better

(This entry will be stupid-long. I’d advise just skipping it. I just need to let some stuff out…)

Even when I don’t have the oomph to get on Facebook to socialize or even browse to see what my friends have been up to, I’ll still often open up my Twitter app so I can (in theory) stay on top of current events – not only for our country, but all parts of the world. Sure, you’ll be able to find links to useful articles, and random people posting random actual facts here and there – but generally, Twitter, when used for more than just talking with friends, is probably one of the most vile, dishonest, spin-filled, shit-smeared corners of the internet. πŸ˜’ And when political figures or talking heads are being honest, they’re saying some of the most awful things that usually never even enter people’s thoughts – let alone get spoken out loud or typed into a tweet for the entire world to hear. 😟

The foolish, but well-intentioned folks among us… we inevitably end up replying to much of that garbage, thinking, or at least hoping, that our words will make people stop and truly think about what they are reading, believing, and supporting. In real life conversations, face to face with other humans, you can do that sort of thing and it works. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Conversation. 😐 Agreeing, disagreeing, offering opinions, hearing otherΒ people’s opinions, using logic in a friendly but useful debate of a topic, and even the potential for people to change how they think based on new information given to them. But the “I have the microphone so you will listen to every damn word that I have to say!” nature of Twitter, combined with anonymity and physical distance between people in any given conversation – it changes the way the humans act, preventing useful conversation and instead providing an echo chamber that most people use to “confirm” that they’re always 100% right and that anyone who says anything otherwise is an asshole. πŸ™„πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

So it’s no surprise that when anyone and everyone can say and do whatever they want, you’re going to see things said and done there that you’d never experience in your normal, everyday “real life” interactions with people. 😟 And yes, I know that your experience on Twitter will be heavily influenced by the people that you choose to follow… but you’d think, you know, that following the President of The United States would be something that could (or should) benefit anyone living in the United States. πŸ€”πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ But my gosh… Donald Trump is one of the biggest shit-posters on the platform, and it’s honestly hard to tell if it’s “by design” or if he’s just truly “like that” and thinks that there’s nothing wrong with it.

I’m not even going to try to cover his individual tweets in detail, but jump over there yourself and just take a look at the last two or three weeks of his tweets. Then remind yourself that, yes, these are official statements from the current President of the USA. 😧😒 Lying, bragging, gas-lighting, blatant ignorance, projecting, supporting “enemies” of the USA while belittling our allies, desperation to be loved / respected – especially by dictators, spreading murder conspiracies, various levels of racism, live tweeting TV shows that he hates and always claims not to watch, retweeting people at random for simply praising him – even when those people have racist ties, claiming credit for everything good (whether he was responsible or not) while always shifting blame for the bad things, mixed messaging (possibly just confusion or ignorance) regarding military, trade, or just general foreign relations… it just goes on, and on, and on, and on… 😞

So it’s quite safe to say that following the current US President on Twitter is not comforting or reassuring. πŸ™„ Because I’ll see people that appear to believe his lies, that trust his words, and I want to help those people open their eyes. Because for me, and many people like me, it’s not even that we’re asking anyone to “switch sides” but to just recognize when bullshit is bullshit, so there will be at least a few less suckers in the world. One obvious problem, especially for the folks who championed him from the beginning, is that they’re “all in” at this point. They have to support everything he says or does, because if they don’t – that means they’d be admitting in public that they may have been wrong about him. And of allΒ of the traits of Trump’s “hardcore” base, admitting fault, admitting mistakes, admitting being wrong… just like Trump himself… it’s something they can’t allow themselves to do. 😠

So when you see Trump tweet about handing out tens of billions of dollars in welfare to farmers because China will no longer buy their products due to the Trump tariffs… when he says how big of a “win” that is for the American people – and you see his devoted followers cheering, praising him, and echoing those claims – you know that they know it’s a load of horse shit, but they’re all in… and that’s that. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I can’t even tell you how many people responded positively to the 800 point drop in the stock market today, saying it’s all just part of his plan as the master negotiator and businessman that he is. 🀨

It’s truly Bizarro World over there most of the time. 😳 But I digress… finally… 😏

It’s the same reason that I’ve dipped out of Twitter and stopped following most political and news based accounts before. The original intent upon following them was to stay informed, to see that the adults have everything under control, and to get a sense of security that even though the world often seems fucked – our country is in good hands and there’s nothing to worry about. 😬 Obviously (yet again) that’s not the vibe that I’m getting from my Twitter experience. And I can admit, I’m a dumbass for continuing to use the site for as long as I have – in a way that almost guarantees anxiety, disbelief, and lack of faith in humanity. πŸ˜πŸ˜‘ So next time that I’m over there, as I browse my feed, I’ll be doing away with anything or anyone that makes the experience more bad than good.

As for “staying informed” about current events… Google News is actually a great place to get the articles and facts that matter, you can select what topics you want (or don’t want) to see, and they can even provide a surprising amount of local news content. (Somewhat surprising for the rural-ish area in which I currently live.) But as I’ve mentioned around here more than a few times… I’m already seeing way more negative than positive things in the world directly around me, my friends, and my family… πŸ₯Ί and how stupid would it be for me to continue subjecting myself to even more of that feeling on a shit-posting site, just in the hopes of getting the occasional reassurance that things don’t suck as much as it feels like like they do. πŸ˜’πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

Batina/Bu Tae-nam/λΆ€νƒœλ‚¨/ε―Œζ€ η”·

Okay, so when someone says or writes their full name in Korean, their family (last) name is the first part, followed by their given names. Names are almost always three syllables long, and many, many families seem to share the same surname because when people were permitted to have and use a last name, many of them selected a name that is associated with a former leader or emperor or whatever… to distance themselves from what they felt would be seen as a family name belonging to a commoner or slave. That’s why you have so many Kims, Parks, Gangs, Kwans, etc.

So, the last name is typically one syllable and the given names have two. There’s no direct translation for “Robert” in Korean, so I’m going a different route and am attempting to use my last name of “Batina” as my full Korean name, which conveniently has three syllables already. So I chose a legitimate family name of “Bu”, and then a given name of Taenam (or Tae-nam) because those are also legitimate Korean given names that sound the most like my last name when spoken together phonetically. Batina. Bu Tae-nam,

Granted, not perfect, but there are just certain sounds that aren’t in the Korean language that would allow something to have an exact phonetic translation. Plus, like I said, Bu is an actual family name – although not terribly common – and the given name of Tae is a masculine name, although I don’t think it typically has “nam” (which often means “south”) following it. You’d type all three Hangul characters together for the Hangul Korean version: λΆ€νƒœλ‚¨ … but if you put a space after the second character, the American translation would be “booty” of all things.

So, that’s Bu Tae-nam in Hangul: λΆ€νƒœλ‚¨. However, it’s not that simple. Korean names are also written in Hanja Korean, which use Chinese characters recognized by the SK government, to give meaning to each syllable. So, in Hanja I’ve chosen these three characters, which are still pronounced very close to “boo-tay-nam” if you wanted to speak the Hanja, But I believe people pronounce their names from the Hangul and only use the Hanja when they write it or have a name seal produced. But my Hanja characters are: ε―Œζ€ η”· which allegedly mean “Rich Man” when used together. But for example, the name Tae… there are about 20 different recognized Chinese symbols that you can choose from, and each one gives the “Tae” name a different meaning. I chose my symbols not because I’m bragging or think that I’m rich, but because they form the least ridiculous Hanja/Hangul translation that sounds phonetically similar to Batina.

Interestingly enough, it was coming across a random Japanese video about “name seals” that got me interested in choosing a Korean name. It seems that across many parts of Asia, name seals are actually recorded with the government and used in place of an actual signature. So when you have your name seal created, you can have it done in Hangul or Hanja, and the more stylized the design the better – as it can be made to look completely different than someone else’s with the same or very similar name. And having a larger than normal affinity for stationary and office product type stuff, it just all came together to make me curious enough to look into it as far as I did.

But like I said… this is only what I think is the proper way for choosing not only a Korean name, but as for how to write it in either Hangul or choose the Hanja characters for the Hangul which give each name its on meaning. I’m absolutely sure there’s plenty I’m just skipping past here, but that’s the basic idea of it. But in order to feel fully confident in choosing and using Bu Tae-nam as my Korean name, I’d really want to run it past a few authentic Korean citizens to see what they’re reaction to it would be. I wouldn’t want to have a bizarre Korean name, the same way we’d react if a Korean person moved here and picked out Johnny Whizbang McPuffinstuff as their name – just because there was a similarity somewhere along the way when it came to the phonetics.

So yeah, for now I’m still gonna say that I’m tentatively gonna call myself λΆ€νƒœλ‚¨.

(Sorry, no emojis and little bold or italics or whatever – took all my brain reserves for tonight just to punch up this explanation and process as I’m familiar with it. And yeah, I’m definitely going to get a name seal at some point… obviously not registered anywhere… because it also reminds me of the sealing wax stamps that Mom used to have, which featured our family initials or monogram. It’s just something neat and unusual. Maybe more on this later… maybe not… carry on.)

We’ll Be Looking In To It

Got an interesting sounding letter from Medicare yesterday. 🧐 You know how I often have a hard time getting my workers comp insurance to authorize payments for the related medications when they are due? Well, sometimes (in order to not go without) I have to use my Medicare Part D as backup insurance… and it (along with my co-pay) will cover the costs so I can pick things up when I’m supposed to, and until WC finally does authorize the charge. At that point the pharmacy issues a refund to me and (I assume)Β to Medicare – and everything ends up the way it should have been in the first place.

The letter doesn’t seem too concerning yet. It basically says that they’ve noticed incidents where they have been charged for something that they know should be covered by my workers comp insurance, and that they’re trying to get to the bottom of it. πŸ˜―πŸ˜ƒ It even says that I don’t have to do anything, and that they’re just letting me know that they’re going to be investigating to determine what’s exactly happening.

So one of two things seem likely. πŸ€” The first possibility is that the pharmacy is sometimes forgetting to do the refund and re-charge to my WC insurance once the charge has been authorized. πŸ˜• The second possibility is that there may have been a few times where the WC insurance never authorized a particular prescription, leaving Medicare holding the bill. Both of those are just guesses, ‘cuz this all comes as news to me, but it seems like one of those two could be a likely cause for any red flags going off at Medicare. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

I’m obviously hoping that my second guess is right, because it would be nice to know that the government is getting as annoyed as me – when for one reason or another, the medications that I’m legally entitled to through workers comp are either delayed or possibly not even approved at all on some occasions. But like I said, I’m just making assumptions, so who really knows what the truth is yet. After so many instances though, of course it starts to feel personal and a bit sinister… even though every “issue” I go through is probably actually triggered by a wonky insurance algorithm that doesn’t quite know what it’s doing. πŸ™„πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

Not the worst thing to happen throughout the crappy day yesterday, but medical stuff is always on the list of unwanted annoyances. In better news, Bubba’s flea treatment seems to be working, as I’m not even seeing any of them on her anymore… but that hasn’t stopped her from coming up to me on the regular, lookin’ for some more brushin’ and combing. 😏 Cripes… it’s almost 4am already. I mean, I plan on hiding from the ridiculous heat again today anyway, but I suppose I should hit the sack now that the adulting is done.