This Is How I Do… Unfortunately

Kinda overdid it yesterday, so I paid for it last night and today. 😟 Had a little boost of energy or motivation so I tried to make the most of it. First stop was Tim’s for some coffee, but then I headed over to Great Clips so Toni could cut my hair. She had several people that requested her before me, so I ended up waiting well over an hour. I had her do something a little different this time, but I’m not sure I like it… 50/50 odds that I’ll end up shaving my head before the week is over. 😏

After that I went over to Walmart to get a new pair of shoes and some other crap. My old ones were actually worn through on the bottom, and since I prefer the look of boots – I did end up getting a steel-toed version. Of course that will set off the metal detectors at the IC place, and I’ll inevitably get the side-eye from someone about why I need steel-toed boots if I’m not working. πŸ™„ They’ll have to just take my word… they’re cheap, they last a long time, they look good, and they’re actually comfortable. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ What else can I say?

While I was there I finally stopped by the vision center and made my eye appointment. I’m tired of having a hard time driving at night because of my shitty old backup glasses with an Rx from years and years ago. 😠 That adds another appointment to my already busy first-half of January, but I did have one thing fall off the calendar unexpectedly.

I’m not sure if it was a request from my attorneys, their attorneys, or something the IC just decided itself – but it looks like my hearing has been continued, with a rescheduled date yet to be determined. πŸ€¨πŸ˜• I’m not sure if it has something to do with the concurrent court case… meh… I suppose I should be glad that there’s a little more time before it goes down, but I don’t really need any more time. I wanna get things settled.

But the last thing yesterday… Bri was in town at her cousin’s place, so I stopped by there and dropped off her Christmas present that I got a little bit late. I also picked up a pack of Bertie Botts jelly beans for Brantley and me to try at random – and hope that we didn’t get the gross ones. 😏 Out of four, the only good one I got was banana… and while he got a bunch of gross ones as well, he’d only bite them in half and then wanted me to eat the rest. πŸ˜„ I’m glad I picked that up at the last moment though, he had a ball with ’em.

Got home and realized that not only did I use up all of my social juice, but my neck was killing me as well. 😣 Went to bed early but woke up at 2:30 with my neck frozen. Took my morning meds a little early to fight that, and it ended up knocking me out around 10am until 2pm… so not only is my sleep screwed up, but my neck is still bad. 😠 Gonna take a hot shower in a bit and then put a Salonpas patch on… that’s about all I can do.

Luckily no appointments tomorrow, so we’ll see how things go tonight.

Still Able To Surprise Me

When I got hurt on the job over 13 years ago, I never would have imagined that I’d still be fighting my case to this day… and especially to the extent that it seems to be going. πŸ˜• I just opened my mail from the past few days, and one of the envelopes was a bunch of new paperwork that I need to sign and return to my attorneys due to things escalating. Not necessarily in a bad way… I mean, it’s following a traditional path I suppose… but man, I really don’t understand why my case is worthy of such fuss. 😟

I feel like my case is probably no different than thousands of other cases, and I imagine most injured workers feel similar to the way that I do. πŸ€” We suffer the injury, we have a surgery, and if left with a disability afterwards – which I was – we just want to be able to get the medications that will allow us the most ability and the least pain, even though there’s not gonna be any “full ability” or “no pain” days ever again. 😐 All we can hope for, ask for, fight for… is a doctor that can come up with a plan that treats the remaining problems as best as possible, which I found, and that the workers comp coverage agrees that it is needed and allows it.

That could get expensive for the insurer, but that doesn’t seem unreasonable to me. (That’s why it’s there, no?)

But I’ve got some reading to do, and I really don’t wanna get into it any further than thatΒ  here anyway. It would have been nice if this new development could have waited to show up until after Christmas, but I know better than most – that this stuff is gonna move along at whatever pace it chooses, whether it be slow, fast, or anywhere in between. πŸ™„ It is what it is. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I’ll just handle it tomorrow and then try to put it out of my mind until it actually needs my attention again. Not gonna spend my holiday worrying…

You Don’t Wanna Know

Not sure if we’ll have a White Christmas this year… they feel like they’ve been pretty rare, but I could be wrong… but we did get our first good snow of the season over the past couple of days. πŸŒ¨οΈβ˜ƒοΈπŸŒ¨οΈ The garage got finished just in time, or my car would have been sitting out there getting covered. Snow the first day, freezing drizzle on the second. I didn’t know it was coming, so it was a pretty thing to just wake up to.

I was actually planning on going to Walmart to schedule that eye appointment and grab a new pair of boots and some numbers for my new mailbox… but it wasn’t the weather that stopped me. 😳 It was the new medication that I got at my recent doctor appointment. The one that I had been taking to keep the shoulder tremors at bay… it hadn’t been working as well as it once was, so my doctor suggested an alternate that we could try and I agreed – but I’m about ready to throw in the towel.

I’ve never had a medication so instantly and effectively clog me up. πŸ˜“ I know, TMI, but yeah… πŸ˜πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ and this is taking only one at bedtime – and I’m supposed to slowly ramp up to where I’m taking three of them each night. 😧 Umm… no thanks. I’m 90% sure that I’m not going to take any more of them at all after tonight. But I did want to give it a fair chance. I’m a little nervous that I’m gonna end up dealing with a more-shaky-than-usual arm until I get this sorted, but that’s better than feeling how I’ve felt the past several days.

It’s been about a week, so I’m gonna give the office a call tomorrow and see what he wants to do. I imagine he’ll just call in a script for the most recent med, even though it wasn’t perfect, because it sure didn’t have any unpleasant side effects like this one. This is just how it goes though… gotta work around what WC is willing to pay for, what sorta works, what might work better, etc… basically trial and error. And it’s not great timing, with a hearing eventually coming up, because I need to know which meds I need to fight for. πŸ™„πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜ Sounds like a good opportunity to try and get my Lyrica back. Tried and true.

Maven can tell I’m not feeling well though… heh… poor kitty. 😿 I mean, she tends to always want to be around me anyway – but when I’m just lying around because of how crappy I feel (no pun intended) I feel kinda bad for her, ‘cuz I’m her only real source of entertainment if she wants to play or fight or whatever… and boy am I not very entertaining right now. I’m sure it’ll pass though… (and yes, pun intended there… heh)

Couple Days Off

I’ll definitely admit that I’m not the NASCAR fan that I used to be, but I still ended up watching much of most of the races this year… so I still get that “meh” feeling that fans get this weekend, now that the 2019 season is over and the races are done. πŸ˜• Luckily the Penn State vs OSU game is on, and it should be a pretty good one, so I’ve got that on the TV while I side-eye the stack of mail from this past week and try to talk myself into getting into it all. 😏

This is gonna be a low-key weekend for me though. Was busy through a lot of the past week, and already know that I’ll be busy next week getting tires put on, furnace looked at, garage opener likely installed (among other things) so I’m hoping to keep my ass planted at home and take it relatively easy today and tomorrow.

Of course I’ve still got random little shit around the house that I’ll probably work on if the motivation hits me, but my only planned project is getting the new mailbox mounted. I guess it’s gonna be sunny and decent tomorrow, so I’ll probably wait until then to take the old one off, measure out the holes on the post, and drill out the piece of wood that I’m gonna end up using as the mount.

I bought a cheap plastic universal adapter type thing, same brand as the mailbox, but for some reason not only does it not line up with the horizontal screw holes on the mailbox, but in the plethora of holes for mounting to a post – none of them appear to be in the locations needed. 🀨😐 That’s probably why Grandpa fastened the old mailbox to the post with a piece of wood underneath too… which, over many years out in the weather, has slowly rotted away. I’ve already found the perfect plank of wood, so I’m just hoping that it won’t be difficult to remove the old bolts from the post. πŸ˜¬πŸ™πŸ»

Worst case scenario, if they’re rusted solid or I don’t have the torque to loosen the nuts from the screws, I’m sure Rick would come over and get it sorted. (But I’ve got to at least try to do it myself first.) That’s the irritating thing about my left arm, man… 😟 something that should and would be a piece of cake if my shoulder wasn’t gimped – it’s now sitting out there as this intimidating prospect, knowing that I’ve only got Sunday to get it done before mail resumes on Monday. 😳 When simple things can’t be simple… it’s just frustrating.

Meh… it is what it is. Just glad that I’ll have decent weather to (hopefully) figure it out w/o killin’ myself. πŸ˜πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

EDIT: Damn… this game is moving fast. Either that, or I’ve just been really slow as I was typing out this entry… ‘cuz I feel like I started it right after the game started, and it’s already down to two minutes left before half-time. Good… guess that means my plan of taking it easy is working, if time is passing that fast. πŸ™‚πŸˆ

Rambling… Skip

It’s amazing that over a decade in, and this workers comp stuff is still affecting my daily life so much. I mean, of course the disability has and always will affect my days, but all of the other stuff around it… the appointments, the communications with my attorneys, the problems getting medications approved, the inaccurate reports from “opposing” doctors, the supportive reports from my doctors, the Industrial Commission hearings, etc… lately, it again feels like an inescapable cloud that’s surrounding me.

This week has just been one of those weeks. Starting with my WC doctor appointment, discussing my condition while also discussing his progress on the report, then more mail during the week from my attorneys, this time about one of my other doctors writing a report, and then more mail from my main insurance regarding meds that are supposed to be covered by workers comp, but that I’ve had to fill through them – due to the WC insurer currently disputing my need for them and therefore not covering them.

So all this week, no matter how I might have been feeling physically, it’s been a heavy week when it comes to dealing with a lot of this stuff, or at least having it forced to be in my thoughts. I’m anxious for the next hearing to get scheduled, just so everything’s not hanging over me like this. It makes it difficult to relax, difficult to focus on other things, difficult to just try and have some nice, normal days when each day brings another reminder (above my disability and pain) that I’ve still got this seemingly endless fight in front of me.

So the weekends are nicer lately, because at least I know I won’t have to deal with any calls regarding any of this stuff, but even the couple of days of the weekend don’t feel like much of a break when I’ve still got the cringe of wondering what the next week is gonna bring. I don’t know if the other side’s tactic of using false, personal attacks against me is part of the overall plan – because that’s what gets to me the most. If I lost every hearing based on truthful evidence that just didn’t meet IC guidelines, that would be one thing… but year after year of wild claims and personal attacks… I don’t think there’s anyone out there that wouldn’t feel compelled to fight back with everything they’ve got, and there’s no way that doesn’t take a toll (mentally and physically) on someone eventually.

Obviously there are spans of time where it’s not quite as bad… not quite as “present” in daily life… but right now is not one of those times. I’m glad it’s sunny out, even though I don’t think I’ll be out doing anything today. It lets me sit here, feeling a little better while I ramble and let some of the frustration out. I won’t hold my breath right now, but I’m hoping that I might get a break next week – since everything dealt with this week shouldn’t need any immediate followup. If I don’t have something reminding me of it each day, at least I’d have a better chance of stealing a “normal” week while all the nonsense goes on in the background.

Okay, guess it’s time to do something productive while the sun’s still up… gonna see what I can do about making at least the next couple of days feel a little less stressful.

Overdue For One Of These

Had my monthly WC doctor visit today. Good timing for two reason… first, because it looks like we’re gonna get our first measurable snow tonight (possibility of 2 to 3 inches) and second, because my shoulder was bad this morning. 😣 Most of the time when I have my appointments with him, I’m in my typical / average condition. Not good, but not too bad. But luckily, every now and then, my shoulder has one of its little fits while I’m in the office so he can see in real-time what I deal with a lot of days. Of course I never want to hurt, but it’s like when you take your car to the repair shop and it just won’t “make that noise” for the guy… yeah… my shoulder was making all kinds of “noise” for the doctor today.

It kinda doesn’t matter though… πŸ˜• and that sucks. πŸ˜’ I mean, my treatment is based on my condition, and he already knows that’s part of my condition – so seeing it happening “live” isn’t gonna change anything about it. It’s hard to describe the frustration of just wanting to “feel okay” while also knowing that there really isn’t anything that can make that happen. 😐 (And yeah, I know, I’m far from the only person that feels that way.) I’m gonna have to ask him at my next appointment, how much WC is affecting what he’s able to do for me. Lord knows they look for any reason to fight even paying for the meds that I’m on now, so I could see where he might know that some options would just be “off the table” from the start.

Meh… gotta try to not dwell on that stuff. πŸ™πŸ» But that’s why I’m a little more twitchy than usual once a month. Every time my WC appointment comes around, it just brings up all the frustration that I go through, for treatment that just makes things tolerable, and the fun waiting and wondering if / when my pharmacy will be given approval for each of my meds, etc, only to do it all over again a month later. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ It’s just a shitty cycle that it seems I’m gonna be stuck in forever.

But like I told the doctor today… yeah, I might have times where I bitch about this stuff more than usual, but I also know that things could be a lot worse. I see the other people as they walk into the office… or, sometimes, as they’re rolled by in a wheelchair. 😟 I know that while my disability is definitely full of suck, there’s a lot of folks that have it a lot worse than me – so I try to keep my perspective. (But it doesn’t stop me from thinking that there’s got to be something out there that could still help me more.)

So, yeah, I haven’t done one of these rants for a little while… so there it is. πŸ˜πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Honestly, if you took my doctor appointment off of today’s schedule, everything was about the same as any other day – a random mix of good, bad, frustrating, okay, painful, tolerable, etc. πŸ™„ It just happened that today, the worst of the tremors happened at the most influential time. So despite several paragraphs of complaining, I’m fine… just thinking out loud and getting shit off my chest like usual. πŸ™‚πŸ‘πŸ»Β It’s all good…

Weekend / Winter Prep

I’m glad that today’s a Saturday, ‘cuz I can definitely use the additional time watching football and NASCAR to allow the morning meds to kick in and start helping out before I try to get up and do anything. It was a cold one last night, and I’ve yet to put a thicker comforter on the bed, so I just woke up more gimped than usual. πŸ˜•πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ But days like today are why I try to be somewhat productive on the days that I can, so I don’t feel like I’m being lazy when it takes half-a-day before I’m worth a shit. 😏

Once the game is over I’m gonna head in town to grab some Rax and go visit with Dad for a while. I’ll probably also stop by the thrift store in the Plaza while I’m out, to see how their comforter section looks. ‘Cuz to be honest I’d rather sleep under a pile of blankets than to have to keep my house at 70 degrees around the clock.

But yeah, I think that’ll be the extent of my “plans” for today. Keeping it light and easy, especially since tomorrow is already reserved for bills, paperwork, catching up on housework, etc. Getting out of the house here in a bit will probably help, but today just seems weird for some reason.Β πŸ€”πŸ˜Β I suppose it’s the bunch of little “meh” things collectively making it feel like the day never really got a solid start, so I guess I’m just feeling a bit restless because of it. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ One of these days I’ll eventually “be okay” with just being a potato on the days where being a potato feels like the reasonable thing to do. 😏

It’s okay to treat the weekend like a weekend, man… πŸ˜…Β Β (Or any day, for that matter…)