Try It This Way

Get this. On Sunday, due to sitting around all day, thinking about everything that I had to do on Monday, I think I ended up making my brain give out early… heh… because I fell asleep around 9p and slept all the way through to 10a. Don’t get me wrong, I love when my body finally demands a reset and I get an actual good night of sleep, but it’s not often that my brain craps out before whatever “things” I have to do.

But thankfully I woke up today with my neck hurting much less, and I got through all of the phone calls that I needed to make without melting too much. I also got the living room straightened up and the bills done like I was hoping to do. That’s another thing I’m trying to change…

I have this bad habit of seeing the entirety of “Stuff I Have To Do” and “Stuff I Want To Do” rather than focusing on a smaller sliver of one or the other that I might be able to actually manage. So today I limited it to attorney BS, shopping BS, and living room BS. With the house here, even though there’s a near infinite amount of stuff that I could or should do, if I break it up by room or even smaller task, I think I’ll have a much better chance of making headway.

And then continuing to think about it in a different way than usual, I also have to remind myself that I don’t always have to be doing something productive, and that I don’t have to feel bad when I can’t devote time to people when I’m simply am unable to do it. I’m not sure why I always feel like my time should be spent in those ways, and then feeling shitty if I can’t quite do it… but I need to remember that doing nothing is okay too sometimes.

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Unpredictable

It’s been a pretty bleh weekend so far. Had trouble sleeping during the week, getting 3-5 hours on average each day/night, then on Friday night I slept for 16 hours. 😳 Sounds great in theory, but then I ended up staying awake until almost dawn today… and to top it off, I was gifted with horrible, horrible nightmares. 😞 Not “boogeyman” type dreams, but more of the “family-based” variety. So I woke up a bit after 12p today with the energy of a boiled potato.

But yesterday, even though I had enough sleep where I could have done it, I just couldn’t make myself go to the Sweet Corn Festival to do the traditional “walkin’ around” with Jim and other friends. The cool weather and constant drizzle didn’t help, but I just didn’t have it in me anyway – so maybe the crap weather was a blessing. πŸ˜’

I’m probably going to drop even further off the radar today than I usually am, so I can hopefully shake off the crappy residual feeling from my dreams by watching the NASCAR double-header… and by possibly doing some random chores around the house during the commercial breaks. πŸ€” It would be nice to start the week a little bit ahead of the game, especially since I never know how my sleep will go anymore.

For the record, there were some good moments over the past several days, and I’ll probably get around to mentioning them at some point… but now is not that time.

Mutate The Hobby

I was talking with one of my friends the other day and mentioned how I’ve pretty much lost interest in photography at the moment, as well as many of my other hobbies as well. He said that after his own battles with depression, that he had to eventually just find a way to “take his fun back” from it… and I like the phrase that he used. Mutate the hobby. πŸ€” Meaning that even if you can’t find the fun in what you used to do, you could try to make some previously-unconsidered changes in the way you approach a hobby to see if it’ll light the fires again. Telling someone to “mutate the hobby” just sounds better than suggesting that they simply try something slightly different.

So when it comes to my photography, I’m gonna try to steer away from the humans for a while… at least when it comes to my primary subject. I’m not sure yet what I’ll replace them with, but I’m just burned out on trying to come up with something fresh with people pics. I suppose I could even try shooting some video with the dSLR, which has its own distinct look compared to phone or even camcorder video.

And then of course I still have the 3D and 360-degree cameras, although both of them are somewhat lacking in quality when it comes to the resulting images and video… but despite having those cameras for quite a while now, I’ve still never really explored their potential any further than basically just testing them out. πŸ€“ The waterproof action cam that I took to Lake Hope was a nice change, and with a few weeks of summer left I suppose I could still try to make use of it in water that is actually clear… meh… but yeah, at least there’s plenty of options when it comes to mutation should I ever feel close to motivated.

Implicit Necessity

This is kind of what I do. I do the blog, and then I don’t. And then I do again. It’s been this way since I started doing this… before the word “blog” was even a thing, yet I was still putting my thoughts out here for anyone that happened to stumble across them. I’m coming off of what was probably the longest hiatus that I’ve taken, but I think I’m good to go again. I give significantly less shits about how people feel about me and their opinions about how I spend my time, so that helps.

The new site design… meh… I dunno, right now it’ll do I guess. I customized one of the templates a bit, but honestly it was more about just “getting a place ready” for me to start barfing thoughts. So you mightΒ still see tweaks now and then during the next couple of weeks, but that depends on how motivated I get. (My motivation levels are low all-around, so honestly just getting this site up and running as-is feels like an accomplishment at the moment.)

But as it has always been, it’s going to be a crap-shoot when it comes to what you’ll find when you come here. It’ll probably be average, every-day “this is what I’ve been up to” type posts for the most part, but I’m hoping to throw in some opinion pieces more often as well. Lord knows I’ve become good at ranting about things on Twitter, so it makes sense that I’d probably bring some of that over here where I can actually expand on it beyond the 140 character chunks that are imposed over there.

That’s all for now… just wanted to dip my toe in.

EDIT: I’ve adjusted the options contained within the right sidebar. When you type “rubbertoe.com” and come to the main/landing page, every one of the options will be displayed on the right hand side. Links, search, about, archive, tags, translation, and tweets. However, if you click on the title of a specific entry, or otherwise end up at an individual post’s page, all of those options except for the links and the translate option will be hidden. Also, on a post’s individual page, I’ve added a link at the top of the right sidebar that will return visitors to the main page. This is mainly for folks that end up at a post’s page through a search engine or something, and can’t just click “back” to return to wherever they were in my site.