Had my 30-day appointment with my neck doctor today, ran into Amy in the parking lot, and was in and out of there pretty quickly. He and I discussed our different concert experiences, and I showed him a video of the recent Skillet concert so he could understand why I’d be understandably dying afterwards and for the next few days. 😏 He doesn’t know Skillet, but he did mention seeing Aerosmith at Polaris so at least he gets it.
I had to wait several hours to pick up my prescription today though, because I insisted that the workers comp insurer pay for it like they are supposed to. 😐 I’ve been paying cash for many months now… 1) because it really isn’t that much, and 2) for some reason whenever they ran it through the insurance it would always require a pre-authorization that would never go through. Meh… I actually don’t understand that whole process, I just know it can be a pain in the ass. 😒
My workers comp lawyers are busy doing their thing, and I’m hoping they can come up with a decent settlement so I don’t end up having to go through the court proceedings. 😬 Not just because it will be yet another pain in my ass, but because I’m worried that it will affect my travel plans. Cassi has never been on a plane, so I waited for a “90% off” sale and managed to get two round-trip tickets to Orlando for a hundred bucks. 😯
It’s not a vacation… basically we’re just taking a ride. Flying down there in the morning (in the dark, giddyup), kicking it around the terminal for a while, and then flying back that afternoon. I know that probably sounds pointless to a lot of people, but I like doing “new stuff” with/for people that I care about… so I’m hoping that Cassi’s new job and my court stuff don’t end up effing up that little day trip. 🤞🏻
Starting to feel better. I’m able to lift my left arm again, so that’s good. 😏
First Stage: Oush. Mucho pain.
Second Stage: Pain lessens, but can’t raise my arm past my waist.
Third Stage: Able to raise arm again, but at the cost of pain returning.
That’s almost always how it goes, and every damn time you can bet that I’m sitting here worrying that this might be it… that this might be the time that the muscles in my shoulder crap out and just stay that way. 😟 But so far, so good. My head still feels like it weighs twice as much as normal though, whenever I tilt it from side to side. 😬 (Well then…. don’t tilt it from side to side! 😅)
Basically I’ve just been as careful as possible yesterday and today, and I’m not going to be stupid this time and try to jump back into any kind of action before I should. 😐 I’ve got nearly my entire wardrobe worth of laundry waiting to be washed, along with a handful of other things… and yeah, it’s making me twitchy that I can’t start checking it off my list yet, but I’ll just work on bills and paperwork tonight in order to feel like I’m not being worthless, and the rest can come whenever I’m actually back to good.
I haven’t really been able to reengage my social engine yet either. 😒 I was already having issues in that department for a while though, so it’s not surprising – but all the people at the concert definitely didn’t help. It’s strange sometimes… trying to figure out this weird new person that I’m becoming. 😐 I’ve got a pretty good idea of how I got here, but it’s a little too personal/lengthy to get into… just gotta keep trying to get better.
(And you’ve got to check this out: “15 Thoughts Every Introvert Who Loves Music Has At A Concert” – I only found this page just now, and holy shit is it accurate. 😅 Seriously. Read this and you’ll get a slightly better understanding of how my brain works. Just magnify each bullet point by a few factors and you’re there… even number 15 nails it perfectly.)
Went to bed early last night, woke up a little before 8am feeling pretty damn good. A startling feeling, for sure, but I intend to roll with it today. 😏 It’s something that’s difficult to explain, and I know it sounds a bit weird, but over the past several days I’ve made it widely known among friends and acquaintances that I should be considered out of rotation for the moment. 🤔 It’s just that I hate having to tell friends “no” when they text me out of the blue, maybe wanting to do this or that… so it was essentially a preemptive thing.
But waking up without much pain, knowing that my schedule is essentially clear for a while… at least when it comes to socializing… I think it just (more quickly than I expected) took a weight off of my mind. So I decided that I was gonna spend the morning being a potato, and then this afternoon I’m gonna tackle all my bills and paperwork and tend to the random things around the house that need my attention.
Laundry is all done, folded, or hung… I don’t have any dishes, so it really is just random stuff that’s waiting for my focus in the different rooms of the house. This probably feels like a frivolous thing to make a blog entry about, but you don’t know how much it sets my mind at ease to have no social obligations, not a whole lot of pain in my neck and shoulder, and a house that isn’t a mess. 🙂 I know that at any moment one of my attorneys could call me and I’d have to go into work mode for a bit, but so far so good. (I’m actually gonna give them both a call tomorrow if I don’t hear from them, just so I feel like I’m still on top of things.) 🤓☝🏻
I don’t know why I sometimes can’t let myself just sit and not feel the need to be doing something. Like, I am still not completely back to “tolerable” from the trip, yet I spent a good part of yesterday doing what ended up being four baskets full of laundry. (Nevermind the fact that they’re now sitting in my living room, taunting me to fold/hang them and put them away.) And to make things a bit more annoying, I think something is going on with the heating element in the dryer, because a full dry cycle is no longer leaving the load dry. Not gonna bother with looking into that quite yet though, since all my clothes are clean at the moment – and I’m obviously good at hoarding away dirty clothes in the spare bedroom for as long as needed.
Pain didn’t let me fall asleep until 4am this morning, which I suppose was actually a good thing since I had a neck doc appointment today. (Sometimes it’s good to go in there feeling more banged up than usual, just to reinforce that this crap is real and affects me on a daily basis.) I can’t say enough though, how lucky I am to have had this same doctor for the ten -plus years that I’ve been dealing with this. I even showed up an hour early for my appointment, since I already had to be in town for something else, and they scooted me back to a room just a couple of minutes later anyway.
I told him all about Lake Hope, and my foolish-yet-fun decisions that ended up kicking my ass… heh… but we kind of agreed that sometimes the fun that can be had is worth enduring the pain afterwards. Doing things that make you feel at least a little bit like the person you used to be, knowing you’re gonna hurt, but letting yourself have the whole experience anyway. 🙂 I actually left there in pretty good spirits about everything. (Which isn’t unusual I guess… so yeah, my doc is pretty awesome.)
And somehow I lucked out and didn’t get a single “work/business” call today. I thought for sure that all of the threads that I started pulling on at the end of last week would start unraveling into my phone as soon as folks got into the office… but nope. No attorney, no other attorney, and no IRS. A normal person would probably be a bit mad, or feel ignored… heh… not me. I needed a day.
The trip ended up being a lot of fun, mostly because we all picked up on each other’s vibes and really only did the stuff we actually wanted to do. Translated: For a while now, I haven’t really had much enthusiasm for going out and taking “good” pics… not sure why, but I figured for the trip I could feed off of their enthusiasm. Luckily, they had no enthusiasm either. 😅 And since we were all “meh, whatever” about making an effort, we ended up with a nice combination of swimming, boating, exploring, and being lazy. 🙂
The photo-nerd in me didn’t go completely dormant though. Between regular and slow-motion video from my phone, pics from my phone, and video from this cheap-o “action camera” that I got from Wish… I still ended up documenting the trip, probably even better than I would have, and mashed it up into four different videos.
Coming back home from this trip was even worse than usual though. Not only the mental “meh” that I get after getting back home from something brain-clearing, but physically… omg… this trip kicked my ass more than any other. 😖 Three days and two nights, where if we weren’t just chilling in the cabin (which we didn’t do much) it meant that we were out doing something, moving around… sometimes moving around a lot. (ie: anything around the lake) So the first 24hrs after getting home were comprised only of hot showers, pain meds, my TENS unit, staying off my phone, and sleep. It was pretty miserable… but I’m slowly getting back to normal.
The second 24hrs after getting back home… heh… it’ll get its own entry here shortly. 😏