Unique Blog Entry Title

A month or two ago, Dad asked me if I’ve ever had moments where for no real reason, you just get a “content” or unexplained happy feeling that comes over you. πŸ€” At the time I said no, but I think that how I’ve been feeling these past couple of days is what he was talking about. No real reason to be in a good mood, but here it is… for me to not exactly know what to do with it. 😏 Genesee keeps telling me to not dwell on it and just let it be, which is obviously the correct answer. 😁

After all of my appointments this week, I agreed with myself that today should be a day off. I did that with the intention of tricking myself though, because whatever I actually do accomplish by the end of the day – it’s now all just “bonus” stuff. 😊 So that’s been today… staying at home, inside my bubble (so nothing can accidentally crap up my mood), while working on office/organizational type things. πŸ€“ No need for details because I’ve already covered it in recent entries.

My PCP appointment yesterday was a mix of good and bad, which is what I expected. πŸ˜• And rather than doing the referral to the psychiatrist (that I never got around to from the last visit) I told her that I’d compromise and set up some appointments with a therapist. πŸ‘©πŸ»β€πŸ’Ό I already had plenty of stuff that I could have talked about, and that was before learning about my whammy medical condition. But I’ve always liked therapy, the handful of times that I’ve gone… so why not.

If my mood maintains I might go for a walk around Alley or Rising Park tomorrow. I need to stop doing an impersonation of a potato every day… so I’m gonna try to find my misplaced passion for photography/videography and maybe use that as an excuse to leave the house. Oh, and every damn human that I encountered while out doing my runnin’ this week… they’ve been nice, polite, friendly, jokey, etc. 😯 Local society acting so welcoming that I almost felt “normal” being out among them.

Oh, and the hospital finally called today to let me know that they read my letter, and that they’ve talked about it with the people involved. 😳 That’s good enough for me. Acknowledgement. Being heard. I’m hoping that they did take my concerns seriously, but not so seriously that anyone got hollered at or suspended or worse. I ended the call by joking with her, saying that I don’t wanna end upΒ “The Patient with The Scarlet Letter” though, should I ever have to return there for another procedure. πŸ˜…

So between feeling a little accomplished today, and then hopefully doing something distracting over the weekend, I should have a few good days before I have to field calls from the two new doctors’ offices that are supposed to be setting up appointments for me. 😬☎ I really hope that the next steps don’t interfere with the fair and Phil Collins concert. I could live without going to the fair, but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna miss that concert. 😠 Especially since Jim got my ticket as a “no particular reason” gift.

Okay, time to find something good on Netflix and get back to work, but not.

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The Little Moments

Okay, so, the good from yesterday…

When I went to get my drain removed, I first stopped by my neck doc’s office since the two are located in the same building. πŸ€” Hmm… I guess I’m going to have to figure out another nickname for him since I technically have two neck docs now. 🀨 But yeah, my workers comp neck doctor, Dr Walter… I wanted to stop in there real quick to let Nicole know about the two prescriptions that I was given, just so they’d have a bit of a heads up for my next appointment.

Luckily there was nobody else in the waiting room when I went in, and when she opened the glass and saw me she joked, Wow… what’s the new accessory you’ve got there?” Heh… and that’s exactly the kind of response I hoped for, because for as long as I’ve known her through my monthly visits, and since she knew this was in my cards, it was just nice to get a jokey but caring response from her – especially when I showed up unannounced looking startling like I did. 😏

After getting the drain removed I went to leave and ended up running into Dr Walter in the parking lot. He could have ducked me, since I didn’t even see him coming, but I heard him say “Hey, Robert…” as he walked over to greet me. πŸ™‚ Like Nicole, he knew this surgery was coming, so he was interested to hear how it went and to even take a quick glance at the surgery site for his own curiosity. It was just nice, when he was probably ready to just get the hell out of there and head home, that he took five minutes to talk to me there in the parking lot like that.

Like I’ve said, I’ve been seeing this same doctor for over a decade now, so you do sort of feel a bit of a friendship… maybe that’s not the right word, but after countless office visits you end up being pretty familiar, often times talking more about “other stuff” than medical stuff, and I always felt like he genuinely cared about my issues and treatment… so it was just nice to feel like that was confirmed, by him going out of his way to show interest, concern, etc. when he could have been 5 or 10 miles closer to home if he had just taken off. πŸš—πŸ’¨Β  Β  Β  Β  Β πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

So it might sound silly that it was such a big deal to me, but having two of “my people” from that office treat me so kindly at a time when I really did need it… it makes me feel even more fortunate that those are the folks that I ended up with right after my injury happened all those years ago. 😊

All I Have To Give

I’m finally sending up the white flag and giving in to this nerve twinge thing that I’ve got going on. After talking to Dad, Cassi, and Genesee about it, and after suffering with this infuriating pain for the better part of a week, I’ve decided that I better go get it checked out. πŸ€•πŸ˜Ÿ Gen worked at a local doctor’s office when she was still living around here, so she’s possibly got an “in” with a couple different chiropractors. She’s gonna call tomorrow and see if she can get something worked out for me… oh, and I decided to try a chiropractor before the ER for a number of reasons. 🀨 Besides, the ER is still there if it turns out that a back doctor can’t help me.

Rather than sitting around all day and letting my frustration and anger build, I’ve decided to just stay in a comfortable seated position on the floor and get some work done… while watching a bunch of YouTube videos about stuff that gives me the “goody” feels. 😏 (History about Atari, Sega, Samantha Fox, Commodore, Jane Child, Nintendo, Klonoa, etc.) As for the “work” part… just a few minutes ago I printed out the final versions of my will, living will, health care directive, final arrangements, and a durable power of attorney for my finances. πŸ˜―πŸ˜ƒπŸ€“

Heh… no… I don’t expect to be going anywhere anytime soon, but I’ve had all these documents about 90% done for a while now. 🧐 So I just had to check the details and make a few tweaks, and now I just need to seek out a couple of witnesses and visit the notary at my bank. πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘¦πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€βš–οΈ Oh, and there will be no more sleeping in my bed until I get this nerve problem sorted. πŸ™„ My dumb ass… I knew it was a trap… but my bed can be so comfortable, and I wanted a good night of sleep so badly… but nope, constant pressure on that area = a bad idea, so it looks like I’ll be sleeping in the recliner until further notice.

I keep reminding myself how much worse it could be. 😳 I try to put myself in the shoes of the folks who still have to go to their jobs and put in a full eight hours while dealing with this pain. Sure, a TENS device helps mask the pain, but that’s no way to spend your day… working for “the man” while worrying about a) nerve pain randomly zapping you, and b) the TENS unit randomly zapping you. ⚑😣⚑ So, yeah… just trying to make the best of the day.

Sunday Delivery

No real change in the past couple of days, and I’m starting to get restless. πŸ˜’ I’m sitting here, keeping it in neutral, but also wanting to do stuff around the house… anything other than just sitting here. πŸ€• But then I stand up and take a few steps and it knocks that motivation right out of me. So I’m gonna continue to take it easy and just work on things that I can take care of in the immediate area. Sitting on the floor with my back right up against the heater is helpful, and I can pop open the laptop and spread out any paperwork type shit that I want to work on… πŸ€“πŸ’»πŸ“ so I guess that’ll have to do for now.

The mailman stopped here today thoughΒ (Sunday… weird) to bring a couple of goodies that I ordered the other day. They aren’t even goodies for me, but it still made me happy to see them arrive. πŸ˜ƒπŸ“¦πŸ“¬ Now, I’ve been out of circulation for a long time when it comes to most of my friends, but Brantley and Desiree both have a birthday this week – so I wanted to get each of them something so they don’t think that I’ve forgotten about them.

Bri and her family have Indiana roots, so I got him an Indianapolis Colts wallet. 🐎🏈 Now, he’s only four, so he’s not gonna be all Woohoo! when he opens it – but hopefully mama will teach him how to carry important things in it and tell him how “grown up” it will make him. 😊 I also unsealed the packaging, stuck a $20 in the wallet, and sealed it back up again before I wrapped it… so that should be a nice “extra” surprise.

Promising Start

Met my new doctor today… well, nurse practitioner, but it’s the same difference as far as visits like today, where I just needed tests to be ordered for something that I was already aware of. πŸ‘©πŸ»β€βš•οΈπŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ But I do think that I’ll stick with her. Their other practice has mostly male doctors and nurses working with clients, and then the one that I go to has all female doctors and nurses – and at my last appointment they told me I could switch if I wanted. But like I told her, whenever something might be gross or embarrassing, it’s gonna be gross or embarrassing regardless of who’s seeing me. 😳🧐

I didn’t expect much sympathy, since I hadn’t been to their office in a couple of years, but I was pleasantly surprised. Not only did we take care of the main couple of things that I went in for, but she continued asking questions and let me ramble quite a bit about all of the somewhat lesser concerns that I’d like to eventually address as well. πŸ˜ƒ I told her to stop me when she had heard enough, since I was honestly expecting to be rushed in-and-out in about 10 minutes… so yeah, while she probably had to make this face after I left, she definitely sold me on staying at their office.

So now I have to go have blood drawn, wait for the hospital’s imaging department to call and schedule a test, while waiting for another call from another referral… so, yeah, the ball is now officially rolling. πŸ˜¬πŸ‘πŸ» A different practice might try to milk as many office visits as possible before digging into stuff, so the cheap part of me (which is all of me) approves. 😏 Now the fun part will be figuring out which stuff is covered by my insurance and which stuff will make my wallet and me cry.

Mulligan

Today was one of those unexpected / inexplicable “I feel miserable and I’m not even sure why.” days. 😟 The weather didn’t help, being gray, rainy, and miserable all friggin’ day. I dunno, it was more than that though, which makes it that much more frustrating that I’m unable to put a finger on it. πŸ˜’ Meh… it’ll pass, and thankfully these bleh moments usually don’t last longer than a day lately.

I did get a lot of my little projects worked on yesterday and this morning though, so I can feel good about that. πŸ™‚ But in doing so, I’ve sorta F’d up my living room – with my typical “three-quarter circle of paperwork” surrounding me as I work on the living room floor. 😏 Heh… I’ve got two different desks at which I could probably sit when I do my “office stuff” – but my brain still insists on sitting on the floor for whatever reason. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Eventually my butt and back will likely have a talk with my brain, and things will probably change, but I bet that won’t happen for a long time.

I’ve been avoiding anything with substance for most of the day, so before I go to bed tonight I’ve yet to check my messages, voice mails, and email… but I should be able to get through those pretty quickly since I’ve been managing to somewhat keep up on them lately. πŸ€“ The cat appreciates that I haven’t moved much throughout the day as well… as she can sleep on the suitcase (still) where she can keep an eye on me, while also enabling her to wake up every hour or so to come over and get some pettins before going back to the suitcase and lying down again. 😺

Same Day Service

I woke up around 8am today, after falling asleep around 1am. 😡 The power had gone out around midnight for some reason, and it’s almost impossible for me to fall asleep without a TV making some noise and light… so my substitute was playing Netflix on my phone until the battery finally died. πŸ˜’ But anyway, I was awake way too early, and I was way too grumpy, so I hopped in the shower to un-fuck my neck and shoulder a bit and then plopped down in the living room to catch up on the news. πŸ€¨πŸΏπŸ“Ί

About an hour later I got a text from Cassi, asking me to give her a call (FaceTime) when I woke up. She woke up to one of her kitties crying and having a bad reaction to something, with his eyes being a little swollen and his inner eyelid things half-covering his eyes. 😧 She said it would come and go, but she still asked if I’d be willing to come get them and take them to a vet in Buckeye Lake that could see them a few hours later.

And actually, I didn’t mind. I wasn’t yet in the mood to do shit with my day, so having an “emergency” pop up where my presence would be helpful… it actually made me feel good, being worth a shit to someone other than myself for at least part of the day. 😏 It’s a remarkable facility, for being on the edge of crappy ol’ Buckeye Lake. Huge place with lots of rooms, separate waiting areas for cats and dogs, boarding area, grooming area, various food and supplies, etc. I’d bet that they handle most of the critter care business in the upper-Fairfield / lower-Licking county areas.

They did a blood test to make sure it wasn’t any of the “more scary” things that it could have been, and the doctor gave her best educated guess that it was some sort of typical infection that rescue cats tend to get. πŸ˜ΏπŸ‘©πŸ»β€βš•οΈπŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ He was actually looking much better by the time we got there, of course, but Cassi had plenty of pictures to help with the diagnosis. So we were back on our way with a little bottle of antibiotic juice that he’ll get once a day for the next couple of weeks. Hopefully that’ll do the trick.

I ended up staying and talking to her for a couple of hours once we got back to their place, so it was kinda nice to not only be helpful to her and a sick kitty, but also to get that unexpected chill time that we usually only get a couple times a month. 😊 I ended up spending the better part of my day on all that, and of course I ended up coming home near the end of rush hour, so by the time I got home I was ready to call it a day. 😣 It’s all well and good when I’m out in the middle of something, but when it’s over and it’s time for me to be home – I wanna be home. πŸ˜…