Welcome Back

My bed has kicked my ass over the past couple of nights. The last few months have been somewhat okay, but prior to that it had a habit of messing up my lower back if I didn’t stay in just the right position as I slept. So now I’m waddling around the house, hunched over in pain like an old man. πŸ‘΄πŸ»πŸ˜£ And I know the process – it’s either gonna be mostly okay tomorrow, or it’s gonna get worse and stay worse for a while. 😐 Luckily I got the living room all cleaned up and presentable yesterday, so I’m not gonna be forced to sit in a room that’s annoying me until I feel better. (That’s my half-assed effort at trying to stay positive.)

I’m just glad that it’s a weekend day, and that I didn’t have any plans. So I can sit here with heat on my back and watch the last race of the season. I don’t have NBC (live) with my DirecTV Now service – so I’m watching the cluttered “Hot Pass” version of coverage on NBCSN. At least half-a-dozen camera views on the screen at once, live audio from whatever driver they happen to pick for that moment… it’s ugly, but it’ll do.

Ugh… it’s amazing how quickly unexpected pain like this can take away whatever “will to care (about anything)” that I may have had the previous day. 😞 Believe me, I make an effort to not be miserable… and it is an effort… but since I’m always walking that fine line anyway, it doesn’t take a whole hell of a lot to push me over the edge to bad.

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Apes… Together… Strong

I’ve struggled these past few days. 😞 Mood was decent until my neck started acting up. Didn’t really do anything that I can think of that would have provoked it. I think it just decided that I hadn’t heard enough from it lately – so it made itself better known. 😣 So I just limited my activity, waited it out, and I think I’m coming out on the other side now. 🀞🏻

During my down-time I ended up renting War for The Planet of The Apes on Google Play (first time I’ve used that service) for which they also gave me a “free copy” of Amityville: The Awakening to watch whenever. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ But I’ve been anxiously waiting for the “Apes” movie to be available, and I wasn’t disappointed. πŸ˜ƒ Me, the computer nerd, the animation guy… you’d think that I wouldn’t be able to truly enjoy the movie because I’d only be able to see “computer monkeys” πŸ€“πŸ™ˆ but everything was rendered so authentically that I barely thought about all that through my first viewing. (Yeah, I watched it a second time the next day, even though it’s almost 2 1/2 hours long.)

The other movie… heh… it was an acceptable jump-scare movie, but not much more. No, wait… it also had way more of Bella Thorne’s ass than I anticipated. 😯 (For the record, I anticipated zero ass. πŸ˜…) Another Disney Channel kid that had to prove that she isn’t a kid anymore, I guess. And sticking to the “media” theme, today I got home from running some errands and found a new book in my mailbox. Commodore: The Amiga Years, which is a book that I backed during a crowdfunding campaign by an author who has already done a thick, hardcover Commodore: A Company On The Edge book – which I also happen to own. 😁 (Don’t ask me how much I’ve actually read though. πŸ˜• Gawd I wish I could make my brain slow down enough to actually read.)

Commodore and their computers… for better or worse, they’re a big reason that I am the way that I am today. 😏 From my first VIC-20 that Dad brought back from Hamvention for me in junior high, to my C64 setup in my high school years, then various Amiga computers after I graduated and was out on my own… so I’m hoping that one day when my brain allows it, I’ll be able to sit down and learn all the “behind the scenes stuff” that the world never knew about. Kind of like a written version of Halt and Catch Fire. (Who’d have ever thought that a network would sign off on a show like that, eh?)

All of it was a welcomed distraction.

Because Of Course

I’ve been awake for about 27 hours now… heh… couldn’t fall asleep no matter how hard I tried. Not in the bedroom, not in the recliner, not with the TV on, not with the TV off, not with the ceiling fan on, etc. 😏 At least I’ve crossed some weird barrier now and I’m more slap-happy than annoyed by it.

But wait, it doesn’t stop there. πŸ™„ Moments ago I finally passed that goddamned kidney stone. πŸ˜… If anyone would have been walking outside near my bathroom window, they’d have definitely heard me sing a song of surprise. I mean, I knew I had some kidney stuff going on, but the pain lightened up a couple days ago – but that’s apparently because it was a little further down the highway and looking for its exit. πŸ˜– Heh… I know this is a little TMI, but whatever… it’s just a stone.

I’m still not holding my breath though. I wouldn’t put it past my one kidney to make a stone and send it on its journey, only for theΒ other kidney to get jealous and decide to do the same. 😏 But no, don’t get it twisted… ejecting it from your body isn’t the problem, whether you’re male or female – it’s when it’s leaving your kidney, with its jagged little asshole shard edges tearing shit up along the waythat’s what’ll have you balled up on the floor.

Plz send positive juju. I need it right now… heh

Hello Again, My Old Friend

Just when I think that I might be ready to get back into the fight, something else has to pop up. Among my defects, it seems that my kidneys are the ones that choose to make themselves most noticed. I’ve had several kidney stones in my life, each of them as pleasant as the last, and I think I’m working on another one right now.

I was getting ready to start looking into it with my family doctor a couple of years ago, but then things kinda went in another direction and other things demanded my attention… so I guess this is the price I pay for not being better able to multi-task during stressful situations. And this will sound weird, but I’m hoping it’s “just” a kidney stone.

I guess my aunt had kidney trouble all of her life, and it’s the thing that finally got her in the end… so, like I said, it’s probably the same thing I’ve dealt with before – but now I have another, much scarier way of looking at it that makes moments like these feel a little more serious. Shit, I haven’t even gotten to the oral surgeon to get my last two wisdom teeth out, and now I’m probably gonna need to get back on top of this kidney situation.

But yeah, yesterday was bad… didn’t even turn my phone on. I was either balled up on the couch or sitting in the recliner with the heating pad all day, streaming episodes of Deep Space 9 (of all things) non-stop. That means I was also blissfully unaware of what went down in Las Vegas until I woke up this morning and turned my phone back on. Another wonderful thing to wake up to.

But so far today is much less “oush” than yesterday, and I can actually get up and walk around… so I better get on top of my bills and stuff, and do what I can to get the house in better shape in case I have to go to the ER – and in case they keep me and someone has to come here to feed the beast while I’m away. That’s absolutely worst case scenario though, because I intend to wait this out and see what happens.

Kidney stones, the gift that keeps on giving.

Rough Days

Starting to feel better. I’m able to lift my left arm again, so that’s good. 😏

  • First Stage: Oush. Mucho pain.
  • Second Stage: Pain lessens, but can’t raise my arm past my waist.
  • Third Stage: Able to raise arm again, but at the cost of pain returning.

That’s almost always how it goes, and every damn time you can bet that I’m sitting here worrying that this might be it… that this might be the time that the muscles in my shoulder crap out and just stay that way. 😟 But so far, so good. My head still feels like it weighs twice as much as normal though, whenever I tilt it from side to side. 😬 (Well then…. don’t tilt it from side to side! πŸ˜…)

Basically I’ve just been as careful as possible yesterday and today, and I’m not going to be stupid this time and try to jump back into any kind of action before I should. 😐 I’ve got nearly my entire wardrobe worth of laundry waiting to be washed, along with a handful of other things… and yeah, it’s making me twitchy that I can’t start checking it off my list yet, but I’ll just work on bills and paperwork tonight in order to feel like I’m not being worthless, and the rest can come whenever I’m actually back to good.

I haven’t really been able to reengage my social engine yet either. πŸ˜’ I was already having issues in that department for a while though, so it’s not surprising – but all the people at the concert definitely didn’t help. It’s strange sometimes… trying to figure out this weird new person that I’m becoming. 😐 I’ve got a pretty good idea of how I got here, but it’s a little too personal/lengthy to get into… just gotta keep trying to get better.

(And you’ve got to check this out: “15 Thoughts Every Introvert Who Loves Music Has At A Concert” – I only found this page just now, and holy shit is it accurate. πŸ˜… Seriously. Read this and you’ll get a slightly better understanding of how my brain works. Just magnify each bullet point by a few factors and you’re there… even number 15 nails it perfectly.)

Another One?

If I hadn’t already bought the tickets a couple of months ago, and had to decide yesterday morning if I wanted to go that night, there’s a really good chance I would have stayed home – but as it were, it was off to Dayton for another Skillet concert. 😏 I’m glad to have been there, don’t get me wrong, it’s just another one of those “Man I wish I could just snap my fingers and be there / be home.” deals.

I swear, each time I do whatever “fun” thing I decide to do, it gets more and more difficult – without any real reason that I can tell. 😐 For this concert road trip, I was honestly only “good” for the hour or so that Skillet was on the stage. Before that it was “hurry up, hurry up, hurry up…” and after it was “Ugh, really wanna be home, really wanna be home…” 😬 And that’s on top of feeling like I’m dying today, since I have no chill and can never keep myself from flailing around too much when I go see a band. (And trust me, it doesn’t take much to bring the pain.)

Okay, but other than all of that… heh… the Skillet performance was amazing. Probably the best show that I’ve seen them do, and I bet it’s close to a dozen times that I’ve seen them in person by now. πŸ˜ƒπŸ€˜πŸ» Originally it was gonna be me, Dez, Athena, and Sean… but Sean went back to Canada, Athena changed her mind, so I substituted Cassi on my end and then Dez brought Ashley. πŸ€” Even though that had two of my different worlds bumping up against each other a little more than I’d like, it ended up being a really good time. 😏

EDIT: (Really impressed with the iPhone 7+ audio, that close to the speakers.)