Didn’t Know I’d Want It

Clicking around on YouTube, somehow I ended up finding a video of a couple of kids reviewing video games… but these kids just happened to be doing so in 1991 at the Bally’s Aladdin’s Castle in Atlantic City. 😯 I’d have liked to have seen the even older arcade though, because it’s the one of which I have the most memory. It was actually built into the front of Bally’s Park Place casino and looked out onto the boardwalk and ocean. πŸ™‚ Right next to the little art gallery shop where they had sculptures made of garbage on display.

That, of course, caused me to click around a bit longer… trying yet again to find pictures of any of those casino arcades from the mid-80s, but just like usual – I came up empty, other than a few random posts in dusty corners of the web, where people were requesting the same sort of photos that I’m looking for. 😟 And like one of those folks said, “It never occurred to me that I should take pictures of the boring old arcade that I went to every weekend.” And that way of thinking makes sense. πŸ€” Something that doesn’t seem like a big deal to you at the time…Β you’re unlikely to bother making a visual record of it, because your brain isn’t thinking ahead to consider that you (or anyone else) might one day wish that you could look back at that stuff from the future.

That refreshed my memory and added a little more spark to my current level of photographic motivation. When I got my 3D camera, I considered going around town and just taking random pictures of anything and everything… providing a 3D snapshot of Lancaster from “a couple of days back in 2014” or whenever, for people to look at in awe decades from now. πŸ˜ƒ But of course I never did it. 😏 Shit, even now there’s a couple local Facebook groups where people make a hobby of finding “vintage” pics of the city, the buildings, the stores, the people, and sharing them with everyone – which ends up getting them 100s of likes and shares.

I’m not worried about the popularity of any shots that I might take now, I’m just using that as an example of how photos that I take now may be looked back on in amazement several decades from now – especially if I compose shots that people haven’t thought of already taking. πŸ€“πŸ“· I’m just not sure if I’d be better off taking “normal” shots with my high megapixel dSLR, or if I should use the 3D or 360Β° cameras just to make them more unique. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I realize that it’ll be much, much easier for future generations to find digital photos from the current age – so if I want them to mean something or to get a special look in the future, I’ll have to figure out what tricks I wanna use. Whether by using an unusual type of camera, or by just giving extra thought to the location and composure of the shots themselves.

This is making my evening fun though… just running all of these things through my head, even when there’s probably only a 10% chance of me actually doing any of it. My brain hasn’t really cared to think about anything photo-wise for many months now, so it’s nice just to have a little bit of “that feeling” again. I’ll have to grab one of my notebooks here in a minute and start jotting down some ideas before it all starts to dissipate.

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Mixed Emotions

While Genesee was here we were of course talking about all sorts of memories, and we even watched some old home videos that I’ve got uploaded to YouTube in an “unlisted” area. As we watched some of the Atlantic City videos we got to talking about the story behind how I found and got her a key from The Continental motel for Christmas last year, which just so happened to be a key to a room that we actually stayed in – with video proof, as I walked up to and recorded the number on the door (like the nerd that I am) with the camcorder. 😏 It really was amazing…

That then immediately made me remember how I made an awesome, lengthy blog post about it… but then due to certain people reading my blog and giving me shit about the choices I was making in my life – I ended up deleting the entire blog without archiving it. πŸ˜” So unless I find some internet archiving site that managed to capture it, that post (and all the others from that short era) is gone forever. And if you know me, you know that’s not like me at all – just impulsively wiping out a significant chunk of my own history. 😠

That’s what happens though when you’ve got someone who’s words meant everything to you, suddenly and repeatedly getting really fucking shitty about things. πŸ˜’ Rather than leaving my words up here to be picked apart and used against me, I just instinctively made them go away – theorizing that without a detailed view into my life, there’d be less for anyone to be shitty about. πŸ™‡πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Meh… I still deal with internal mental fallout from that (and other things) every single day. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ In fact, it’s usually the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing I think about before falling asleep. Good times.

But anyway… speaking of memories… another fun thing to come from going through the old photos was discovering a stack that focused on school parties, birthdays, and holidays with friends when I was little. And thanks to Facebook, I’m still linked to a lot of the friends that were also in those photos – so it was a good time when I scanned and posted a bunch of them. πŸ™‚ My god… the outfits and haircuts are so embarrassing, but everyone was excited to see them and laugh.

That’s one thing that I’m glad of, and one thing that a lot of friends are jealous about… how Mom and Dad documented and saved so, so much stuff from when I was little. 😊 Tons of photos, stacks of old school papers, favorite books, favorite stuffed animals, baby books filled out with all sorts of details about me… it’s just an amazing amount of stuff from my birth onward that I’ve got here – stuff that a lot of people’s parents never bothered doing/saving. I’m lucky to have it all.

Bed and Breakfast

Over the past few days I’ve had 24/7 company here at the house. 😯 Genesee’s friend Tracie flew out to NJ for an extended visit with her, and then Gen provided the return trip home, depositing Tracie at her house and then starting her little break here in Ohio. I’m not sure it was really a break, now that I think about it, because she had plenty of people to see and lots of things to do. But yeah, for a few days I had her and Nesh here. πŸ˜πŸΊπŸ’πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Of course it was impossible for me to adjust… wait… let me start by saying that I was totally glad that she was here, so I’m not bitching about that at all… but when I have trouble just existing by myself here, trying to maintain a sleep schedule that doesn’t have me feeling like death, of course it’s gonna be challenging having company in the house. 😬 But the way I looked at it, the benefit outweighed the complications, and I knew (hoped) that I’d be able to regenerate after they left anyway.

Maven wasn’t thrilled about having a horse in the house, so she generally just avoided us… but on the last day she came into the living room and sat next to me, knowing that I’d keep him away from her if he tried – as if she was thumbing her nose at him. 😏 She’s been up my butt ever since they left… heh… I mean, even more than usual.

With Genesee’s help I finally sorted away all of the boxes of memories from Mom and Dad’s apartment. They’ve been stacked in an extra bedroom for months… but having someone “in the loop” to look through the pictures, school stuff, baby stuff… it just made it so much easier to stay motivated. 😎 She was a big help in sorting out the “old old” photos into a box for Aunt Sharon to go through. Most aren’t labeled… photos of what would be my great aunts and uncles, third cousins, etc – people that really only Aunt Sharon will be able to identify / tell stories about. πŸ‘΅πŸ» I’ve already told her this is the plan, and she’s hoping to make a scrapbook for her kids so the family history doesn’t get somewhat lost as it goes down the generations.

 

Making The Most Of It

I’m feeling a bit antsy this morning. I’ve got a trip coming up with some friends that I scheduled over a month ago, so of course my sleep schedule is all screwed up now as I start to get anxious about it. You know how it is, I just tend to overthink things in general, so my brain has been working overtime to make sure everything goes down as planned, so that everyone has a good time.

We’ve already planned for it to be a mix of business and pleasure. The main guests are Athena and Desiree, since I figured they both deserved a little getaway. Athena, because of all the shit that I’ve done with Cassi that she didn’t get to be a part of, and then Dez, basically because all the girl does is bust her ass. (Work, school, life… heh) Sean gets to come along as well so that Athena doesn’t feel like a third wheel. 😏

But as we were planning it, we knew that we wanted to have some chill time… swimming, cooking weenies and roasting marshmallows over the fire, checking out the abandoned tunnel, etc. (Oh yeah, we’re going for a couple of nights in a cabin at Lake Hope State Park.)Β But then we also wanted to get in as many photo sessions as possible. (The “business” part) There’s gonna be a ton of interesting spots to serve as backgrounds, and there are many planned outfit changes in order to get a lot of different looks in the photos sets. (So if they end up sharing their photos, they can space them out days apart or longer, since they’ll look significantly different from each other.)

I’ve been a depressed blob all week, and I’m still not quite sure how my mood is going to be for all of this, but this is honestly how I have to do things sometimes… schedule them so that they are unavoidable, then *poof* I’m out doing something. πŸ˜’ I’m sure it’ll be fine, I’m sure we’ll all have fun, but that’s why I’m being so twitchy while I pack. Hoping that I got food that everyone will like, and enough of it to last two nights, etc. Meh… I need to stop worrying.

Heh… I just realized, this is another one of those things where people will probably hear about it and think that I’m just off having a grand time without a care in the world, but here I am a day before departure, only 50% sure that I even wanna go. πŸ˜› Another thing that’ll probably bite me in the ass is that everyone else who wants me to take their pictures… they’re gonna see these new ones and either feel snubbed or they’ll be even more intent on me scheduling something with them. Heh… it’s so weird… how little interest I have in the hobby right now. πŸ˜•

Okay, basically I just wanted to bust out an entry to get some of this nervous energy out, but since I don’t really want people to know that I’m not gonna be home for a couple of days – even though I wrote this in the early AM of July 30th, I’m gonna schedule it to post after the trip is already done and I’m back home. πŸ€“ So if you’re reading this, you can figure the trip didn’t turn out to be shit… ‘cuz otherwise I would have deleted it before it even showed up. Alright, back to work…

EDIT: And to make things a little more interesting, since Dezzy is only able to stay the first night, when it’s time for her to go home Cassi is going to come down and take her place. πŸ˜… I’m going to be taking so many pictures on these next couple of days that it’s likely I won’t want to touch a camera again for a long, long while… heh Β but Chelsea and Ariel have both been waiting, oy.