Normal For The Day

I’ve only told a couple of people so far about my upcoming surgery and why it needs to be done, and I know I’ll have to let the rest of the family and my friends know soon – but I’m not sure if I’m gonna go out of my way to do that today. I’d kinda like to brush it out of my thoughts for the better part of today, and maybe just put on some music and do some cleaning and then maybe working on some paperwork later tonight. Especially now that I know there isn’t going to be some huge rush to get me onto an operating table.

I’ve already talked to my friend Jim about it, especially since we’ve got a concert planned in October, and have been talking about maybe doing a “bucket list” type trip to Las Vegas for the past several years. I’m not letting the current news change my plans for my plans, but it’s better to talk all that stuff out rather than just acting like it could never become a variable to consider. The Millersport Sweet Corn Festival is going on this week and weekend, and he’s going to be there tomorrow – so I’m gonna try to go up there and hang out at least for a bit. Throughout the years, since we went to school there, the SCF has been something we’ve always tried to hit together… a little less regularly in the past decade or so, but it’s nice to have that “traditional” thing when we’re able to pull it off.

But yeah, even though I’m going to try and avoid tackling it with folks today, I do think I’m gonna stop at some point during the day and sit down here at the laptop and type up a summary of the whole situation in a detailed but brief-as-possible way, that way I can just copy and paste it into the emails and messages that I’m going to directly send to some people, and then maybe an alternate version for Facebook if I feel like the information is starting to seep into my social media stuff as a side effect of privately letting people know.

Before I even really knew what was going on with my own stuff, I spent a lot of time talking to a friend of mine who had to reveal her “scary stuff” to her friends and family… and she said what she experienced was about what you’d assume. When most people are hit with scary sounding potentially sad news, their thoughts instantly turn to worst-case scenarios. ๐Ÿ˜” So it’s probably not gonna matter how optimistic, hopeful, confident, and determined that I am when I tell people, they’re still just gonna see “dead man walking” until they fully process it all. I get it, I do I mean, it’s hard to know or control how you’re gonna react to something like that when it’s someone you care about… but it’s gonna be hard to keep my head up if everyone else keeps hanging theirs. ๐Ÿ˜•

Advertisements

Non-Plan Plans

I need to start falling asleep to music rather than the TV. It would be one thing if I could just pick a channel and let it play and fall asleep… but I’ll find something interesting, watch it, find something else interesting, watch it, etc – and that process went all through the night until 9am this morning. ๐Ÿ˜ณ I almost fell asleep before the sun came up, but then I discovered VUDU has some free movies available, including Toy Soldiers and Hollow Man… both of which I like and hadn’t seen in forever.

So of course I ended up sleeping most of the day away once I did fall asleep. But so far, so good with my back… still slowly getting better, and this will be my first “good” weekend to work around the house, so that’s still the plan – although I’m slowly winding up for it, and probably won’t start ’til it gets dark. I don’t have any obligations for at least the next couple of days, so even though I jacked my schedule I can still just do whatever whenever and sleep when my brain decides it’s time.

Sure wish the overcast skies would clear up before the Perseids meteors have passed though. ๐Ÿ˜•

All I Have To Give

I’m finally sending up the white flag and giving in to this nerve twinge thing that I’ve got going on. After talking to Dad, Cassi, and Genesee about it, and after suffering with this infuriating pain for the better part of a week, I’ve decided that I better go get it checked out. ๐Ÿค•๐Ÿ˜Ÿ Gen worked at a local doctor’s office when she was still living around here, so she’s possibly got an “in” with a couple different chiropractors. She’s gonna call tomorrow and see if she can get something worked out for me… oh, and I decided to try a chiropractor before the ER for a number of reasons. ๐Ÿคจ Besides, the ER is still there if it turns out that a back doctor can’t help me.

Rather than sitting around all day and letting my frustration and anger build, I’ve decided to just stay in a comfortable seated position on the floor and get some work done… while watching a bunch of YouTube videos about stuff that gives me the “goody” feels. ๐Ÿ˜ (History about Atari, Sega, Samantha Fox, Commodore, Jane Child, Nintendo, Klonoa, etc.) As for the “work” part… just a few minutes ago I printed out the final versions of my will, living will, health care directive, final arrangements, and a durable power of attorney for my finances. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿค“

Heh… no… I don’t expect to be going anywhere anytime soon, but I’ve had all these documents about 90% done for a while now. ๐Ÿง So I just had to check the details and make a few tweaks, and now I just need to seek out a couple of witnesses and visit the notary at my bank. ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€โš–๏ธ Oh, and there will be no more sleeping in my bed until I get this nerve problem sorted. ๐Ÿ™„ My dumb ass… I knew it was a trap… but my bed can be so comfortable, and I wanted a good night of sleep so badly… but nope, constant pressure on that area = a bad idea, so it looks like I’ll be sleeping in the recliner until further notice.

I keep reminding myself how much worse it could be. ๐Ÿ˜ณ I try to put myself in the shoes of the folks who still have to go to their jobs and put in a full eight hours while dealing with this pain. Sure, a TENS device helps mask the pain, but that’s no way to spend your day… working for “the man” while worrying about a) nerve pain randomly zapping you, and b) the TENS unit randomly zapping you. โšก๐Ÿ˜ฃโšกย So, yeah… just trying to make the best of the day.

Shufflin’

I’m sort of feeling guilty for taking a day off when I was feeling good, because today I had to take the day off because my back is fucking killing me. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ I don’t think it’s anything to be concerned about, because it seems to happen every couple of months, but I do have to be careful how I sleep tonight so that I don’t aggravate it. ๐Ÿ˜ณ Odds are good that I’ll just sack out in the recliner, which rarely fails to give me a decent night sleep… at least in so far as it doesn’t injure me during the middle of the night.

I just got back from Aunt Sharon’s though, because I told her that I’d go over there tonight to work on her PC a bit. ๐Ÿ–จ๐Ÿ–ฅ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿค“ Someone gifted her a spare printer, so I took one of my extra USB cables over for her – and then her BIOS was reporting that one of her fans wasn’t working, so I took it all apart to check the boards and connections. Nothing looked burnt or broken, but the rear exhaust fan simply won’t spin up. ๐Ÿค” There’s an additional exhaust fan on the front, and one mounted directly to the heat sink on the CPU, so as long as she doesn’t leave it running day and night I think she’ll be okay.

I’m walking all gimpy due to my back, and I think it accidentally made her feel bad for having me come over in that condition… but it’s not a big deal. It’s one of those pains that I’m used to having every now and then, so at least on “day one” it hasn’t got me feeling too twitchy yet. ๐Ÿคช Now that I’m back home and settling in I’m gonna grab the heating pad and start working on a to-do list of what I want to accomplish tomorrow. ๐Ÿ““๐Ÿ–Š๐Ÿคจ It’s almost all stuff regarding medical stuff, appointments, medication approvals and such – and I’ll have time to do all of that while I sit in my car and wait for Cassi at her doctor appointment.

I know this one is falling pretty close to her mama’s appointment, but this is her first time back after quite a while – since she got her insurance activated again and wants to make the most of it. Something that I definitely encourage. ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€โš•๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€โš•๏ธ I’m also sitting here looking at the list of “free slot play” on the calendar that Hollywood sent me, and it works out that a few of them combine to be a decent amount tomorrow, so I think I’ll take her there afterwards to play. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐ŸŽฐ๐ŸŽฐ๐ŸŽฐ Plus we can use up the $30 in food credit that I’ve got as well. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ”๐ŸŸ That should make the drive up to Columbus feel less like a “have to” and more like a “want to” hopefully.

Lawn Day

My lawn d00ds came to mow today, just minutes before the threatening looking clouds started letting out some sprinkles. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ They tore ass around the place to get it done as quickly as possible, but the storm clouds ended up mostly just blowing over without dropping anything. The mailman showed up at the same time as well, delivering my big jug of RoundUp “KILLS EVERYTHING IT TOUCHES” juice w/built-in pump and sprayer. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ (Yay for Amazon Prime w/free shipping.)

Weeds have basically taken over the entire line of spirea at the back of my property, so that’ll be the first place I test my aim to see if I can kill the weeds and just the weeds. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ There’s also a couple of flower beds that haven’t been converted to “just mow over it” quite yet, so I’m gonna do some unapologetic plant killin’ the next time we have a few days that aren’t so stinkin’ hot. I’ve got the plans in my head – we’ll just have to wait and see if I’m able to complete it all with any degree of success.

Once fall is here, and the landscaping folks are running out of things to do, I’ll probably have a few of them come here so I can get some quotes on how much it would be for them to bring a Bobcat here and just rip out the entire line of spirea. ๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒณ๐Ÿšœ And not ghetto style, like I’ve done with a few things… I want them out, and once they’re out I wanna make that whole area look as if it was any other part of my lawn. ๐Ÿคจ It’ll be weird not having that physical barrier to the neighbor’s yard anymore.

Meh… I’m just restless and my brain keeps pestering me. I should probably get my teefs and thyroid issue under control before I start sweating this other crap that falls into the “optional” category. ๐Ÿ˜’

Alright Then

Ended up staying up for most of the night last night, so after seven hours of sleep it was well into the afternoon before I woke up today. But at least I woke up feeling decent. I’m responsible for screwing up my sleep schedule this time, but I’m gonna try to fix it by going to bed early tonight to stop the bleeding before my days and nights are completely inverted.

Gonna start doing some work around here in a little bit, but I’m also gonna try to use today as a jump point for getting my shit together a little better again in general. Things aren’t bad, but I just need to find a flow again, and find some purpose again, to keep my mood pointed in the right direction. That’s why I sometimes like having a significant backlog of “to-do list” stuff that I can tackle at any given moment, because sometimes I need a handful of those smaller things that I can actually accomplish and then feel decent because I “did something” that day.

The only real plan plan that I’ve yet to make for this week is when I’m gonna go over and visit with Mom and Dad. I hate going when my mood is crap, because I feel like my “meh” about things and myself will be obvious and contagious, so I’m mentally gonna aim for Friday – with today and tomorrow going towards helping me feel a little more human. But I’m gonna hop off here and see how today goes… not gonna pin myself down with a bunch of “YOU MUST GET THIS DONE!” stuff, but yeah… heh

Woozy

I’m glad when the weather is crappy on the days that I feel crappy. Today was one of those days, for both things. ๐Ÿ˜• It’s hotter than shit outside, but there was even a little bit of hail for a couple of minutes earlier. But I don’t know if it was something I ate or what, but yesterday afternoon through today… bleh… ๐Ÿคข Thankfully it never got to the point where I was kneeling at the porcelain throne, and I think that by the time I wake up tomorrow I’ll be alright. ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿป Might try to eat some soup later. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Even though I don’t accomplish a lot each day, being sorta laid up for an entire day is making me twitchy. I’ve got all these little things in my mind that I’d like to work on around here, some of which wouldn’t involve much more than sitting here at the laptop, so I’m hoping to maybe at least get some of that stuff done this evening – while being careful not to do anything to provoke the gurgle… heh

Maybe it was all those frozen taquitos the other day. ๐Ÿค”