Staying In First Gear

I think I’m starting to feel good enough that I wanna start pushing it a little bit to see how things go. Not all the time, but when I feel like I’ve got a little reserve of energy, I’m not gonna try to “save it” because I’m worried that it’s all the energy that I’ll have for that day.

Not really gonna start that today necessarily, but today is what gave me the idea that maybe I should at least try it. Started doing my laundry earlier in the day, something that I didn’t get to when I planned a few days ago, but while I was down there I also went ahead and changed the filter on the furnace along with the filter for the plumbing in the house. The second one is the one that’s more of a pain in the ass, requiring both arms, up higher than is comfortable for me to be trying to use my left one… but I got it done.

Again, I know that’s a relatively small thing, but it wasn’t that long ago that relatively small things were still kicking my ass. But my shoulder isn’t too pissed, my energy still seems okay, so yeah… it’s just a nice surprise to be able to “do things” again and not instantly pay the price for it. Granted, I’ve been sitting on my ass watching NASCAR for the past hour and a half, and I still have to go back down and keep working on the laundry, but it’s just nice to be able to be a little productive- so far without any noticeable consequences.

(Knocking on wood… crossing fingers… all that shit…)

Rambling Elaboration

Yesterday’s entry was admittedly pretty bleak… but not all of yesterday was completely full of suck, so I figured I should come back in here and sprinkle a little bit of that “good” around – even though I know it won’t really do much to balance out the tone of the blog lately or overall. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜•

Knowing that soon I’ll be runnin’ completely without my thyroid meds, there were a few things inside and outside of the house that I wanted to get to… just in case the next several weeks are as “challenging” as I’m expecting them to be. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ The inside stuff was whatever… but the outside stuff, that’s the kind of stuff that kicks my ass even when I’m at my relative best these days. It also didn’t help that it was still 87 degrees in the late afternoon, when I finally went outside, since “waiting for the heat to die down” wasn’t really gonna work unless I intended to do my yard work in the dark.

When they took out my line of bushes, they plucked about a 1/3 of them, and the remaining 2/3 were cut off at the base – as close to the ground as possible. I told Jason that I had plenty of poison spray when they were doing it, and he suggested that after they were done I should probably go out and hit all the remaining “nubs” in the ground, to discourage them from trying to make a comeback – and to hopefully make them brittle enough that anything still above ground will eventually just start breaking off. So, that was mini-project number one, and luckily I didn’t need my cane nor did I have any neighbors eyeballing me as I worked.

I still had juice left in the sprayer when I was done, so I started hitting weeds along the fence, under a bunch of the evergreen bushes, all over the empty-but-weedy spot (where a big bush used to be) beside the garage, and then all around the AC unit just to make sure nothing considers growing up around it. I was sweating balls at this point. Actually, I was sweating balls within the first 10 minutes of being outside… but yeah, it was time for a break in the cool air inside.

It felt nice, but when it became obvious that I wasn’t gonna stop sweating, I sucked it up and went back outside. I’ve got a couple different sprays for spiders, wasps, bees, and ants – so I treated all the areas that needed it. ๐Ÿ˜ท Front porch got most of the spider attention, back porch had the bees, and then I sprayed what amounts to an “ant barrier” at the bottom and lowers sides of all of the doors that go outside or into the garage. (They’re a fan of Maven’s messy eating habits, usually leaving bits of cat food on the floor for them to sniff out and come after.)ย Bugs don’t really count as “critters” I suppose, but I still hate to be an exterminator. ๐Ÿ˜• But when they won’t stay outside, or try to take over certain areas when they do, they’ve gotta go.

Don’t you love how I can take “Sprayed some poison on the bush stumps and weeds, then killed some bugs” and turn it into a multi-paragraph blog entry? This time it’s intended… to make it sound as time-consuming and exhausting as it actually was. ๐Ÿ˜“ I ended up sweating so much that the mosquito repellent finally quit working, but I had done everything that I wanted – so it was time for a shower, and to stop friggin’ sweating.

Throughout the process, I learned that I have another mutant ability. ๐Ÿ™„ I can work outside for a little less than an hour, come inside into the cold air conditioning, take a shower to get all the stink, grass, and stray poison mist off of me… but I can continue sweating for a full two hours after everything was done and I should have been good. ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ I’m guessing it’s a thyroid thing that I just hadn’t discovered yet, since I’m usually too gimpy to work that much outside. But yeah… cool shower, cold air, and two more hours of sitting here with a towel to keep drying myself off.

It’s fine though… because as much as this all might sound like bitching, it felt good to accomplish so many things when there were so many other things trying to mentally or physically discourage me from doing so. Until I started to not be able to do a lot of things, I didn’t realize how important that it could be to be able to do something with purpose. So even though this stuff is probably most people’s typical weekend, it’s my little thing to grab hold of and feel good about. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

And, obviously, I have to take what I get when it comes to stuff like that these days.

Compromise

Today didn’t end up being as productive as I wanted it to be. Original plan after my “day off” yesterday was to continue in the basement today… I mean, I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I’m almost compelled to at least do something productive each day. It’s probably because of the difficulty of many of the things, and that it takes me so much longer to do those things now… so I guess I want to get things done when I’m feeling the most capable, because I know that can go away the next day.

Meh… just thinking out loud, I guess. But I thought about it, and since there’s absolutely no urgency when it comes to gathering up my random shit to sell eventually, and since I didn’t particularly wanna spend the day in the basement, I made a compromise with myself and finally started putting all my books and random crap back on my bookshelves in the bedroom.

That was probably a better idea anyway, since I have plans with Jim on Saturday… plans that were cemented last fall, so I definitely don’t want to gimp myself up even more than I already am, ‘cuz I can’t miss this one. Plus it’s nice doing something to a room that makes me feel more at home in it, rather than clearing out or stacking boxes. I mean, I don’t even look in the extra bedrooms often, let alone actually use them, but yeah… making my room feel more like my room again was a nice change. And also a good example of doing something when I can, or risk it going in the queue for weeks due to a surprise gimp knee. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Less Bad, Overall

They came and plucked / cut all of the bushes out the other day. ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t know why it made me feel so awkward, sitting in the house doing nothing while other people were out in my yard taking care of things… but I thought about the x-ray results of my knee, how nothing was apparently wrong, and whether I wanted to do physical therapy – and all of those thoughts resulted in me doing quite a bit of work inside the house over the past couple of days.

I figure that physical therapy would be “Yeah, I know it hurts, but keep moving your knee.” so I decided if I was going to hurt, it would be for something useful… something that allowed me to feel productive instead of sitting around like a turd while other people did work outside that I still feel (even though I physically can’t) like I should be taking care of myself. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ They did a great job though, and left the area in a condition where all I’m gonna have to do is spray a little poison on the nubs that didn’t get plucked, and then spread some grass seed (actually, quite a bit) and cross my fingers.

Inside, it was basically just a continuation of what I’ve been off-and-on working towards. The yellow bedroom is never actually used as a bedroom, so I donated the bed from that room to Bri when she got her apartment. Now, that’s my new “auction / sale” staging area. So a lot of what I did was just moving boxes from one bedroom to another, but getting it sorted much better and stacked more efficiently… keeping the more valuable things in their own area, separate from the random household goods or whatever.

It was frustrating, only being able to do a couple boxes at a time before taking another break for my knee… but I just spent a couple of days “keepin’ at it” and even getting several more tubs and boxes packed with stuff and stacked with everything else. ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s still frustrating that it took me two days to do something that would normally have taken an afternoon at the most, but I wanted to keep moving – but with breaks so I could tell if I was making my knee worse. ๐Ÿคจ Which, luckily (and surprisingly) I don’t think it was. It doesn’t feel good now, but it’s actually slightly better than before I started doing all this… so, who knows, maybe my slow-ass self-PT’ing is working. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

I did take today off though, because the next logical step that I would be taking is working in the basement, either packing stuff down there and trying to carry tubs and boxes up the stairs, or bringing individual items up one at a time and packing them upstairs… and I can’t quite trust my knee enough to consider either of those things. ๐Ÿ˜’ย I guess I could just take the laptop and go down there with the intention of staying down there and working, letting Netflix play in the background, and just wait until things are better before I try to haul anything upstairs. ๐Ÿค” Meh… could have done that today actually… but after two days of solid “going” it’s probably better that I didn’t confine myself to the basement today.

I’ve basically stayed offline, I’ve been ignoring most of my messages… but to have the oomph to do what I’ve been doing, I needed to unplug and just do my stuff in my own little bubble here. ๐Ÿ˜ž That’s a sucky thing, I’ll admit, but at least I get to feel good about finally getting a good amount of something done around here, after over a month of my knee making sure that that wasn’t likely to happen.

Anxious

I’m not sure how I feel about the weekend falling right before New Year’s Eve. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ I think it’s actually going to work out better for me this way, since I’ve already got a January’s worth of medical appointments on my mind, but I can’t even really go about changing my insurance information or anything like that until after the first of the year when the new plan kicks in. ๐Ÿคจ So I’ll have at least a couple of days to start planning who I need to contact and when, and I might even get a couple days after that since some places might be closed on Monday and/or Tuesday. I’ve just got a lot of upcoming shit… I wanna hit the ground running.

I think I’m gonna have Cassi down for the night tomorrow. She can’t stay on New Year’s Eve since she has to be at work early early, but it would still be nice for her to stay – since not only has it been a little while since she has, but also because it might also be a little while until the next chance – depending on how my month goes and how I’m feeling during any given stretch. ๐Ÿ˜”

I’ve also decided that I’m going to let her take my Wii and games back up home with her to give to Junior. I can’t remember the last time that I sat down and played any of my games, let alone any of the games on that system that’s almost a decade old now. I could sell it I guess, but I’d hardly get anything for the lot of it… might as well brighten up a kid’s day a bit, eh? ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ll probably wait until she’s here to start finding all the bits and bagging it up… with the way I’ve moved stuff about since I last played, it’s hard to say what’s where.

But like I’ve described regarding my friends before… sometimes it’s just nice to have the company, because not only does it provide time to chill and (hopefully) clear the mind of “the now” for a while – something that’s always needed – but it also helps to encourage a little more productivity, since we’re both essentially able to pat each other on the back for our respective jobs well done. ๐Ÿ˜

I’m certainly not looking forward to 2019, so a couple more days of “nothing” and some company to distract is probably exactly what I need. So I guess I do know how I’m feeling about it.

Mulligan

Today was one of those unexpected / inexplicable “I feel miserable and I’m not even sure why.” days. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ The weather didn’t help, being gray, rainy, and miserable all friggin’ day. I dunno, it was more than that though, which makes it that much more frustrating that I’m unable to put a finger on it. ๐Ÿ˜’ Meh… it’ll pass, and thankfully these bleh moments usually don’t last longer than a day lately.

I did get a lot of my little projects worked on yesterday and this morning though, so I can feel good about that. ๐Ÿ™‚ But in doing so, I’ve sorta F’d up my living room – with my typical “three-quarter circle of paperwork” surrounding me as I work on the living room floor. ๐Ÿ˜ Heh… I’ve got two different desks at which I could probably sit when I do my “office stuff” – but my brain still insists on sitting on the floor for whatever reason. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ Eventually my butt and back will likely have a talk with my brain, and things will probably change, but I bet that won’t happen for a long time.

I’ve been avoiding anything with substance for most of the day, so before I go to bed tonight I’ve yet to check my messages, voice mails, and email… but I should be able to get through those pretty quickly since I’ve been managing to somewhat keep up on them lately. ๐Ÿค“ The cat appreciates that I haven’t moved much throughout the day as well… as she can sleep on the suitcase (still) where she can keep an eye on me, while also enabling her to wake up every hour or so to come over and get some pettins before going back to the suitcase and lying down again. ๐Ÿ˜บ

Well, That Was Strange

I’m only writing about this now because I think I can feel it ending. ๐Ÿ˜ณ But this past week, this has been one of the better weeks in recent memory, when it comes to my mood and my ability to human and all that. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ I’ve done quite a bit more socializing on Facebook and through messages than usual, and for some reason it didn’t cause me to get twitchy like it often can. So that was a nice gift from my brain.

I suppose it was allowed out of a bit of necessity though… I mean, that’s how my brain may have been looking at it… because, at least visually, I’ve been snowed in here at the house for the past few days. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ The same d00d that mows my lawn drove by, saw that my front yard showed not even a hint of a driveway, and messaged me to see if I wanted him to plow a way out for me and I happily accepted. ๐Ÿค— So of course it then snowed again today, although not enough to really make a difference when it comes to getting my car in and out. ๐Ÿค” At least I don’t think it is… I haven’t actually tried it yet. ๐Ÿš—โ›„

Oh, speaking of my car… I’m getting ready to install an upgrade to the current version of my car’s OS. ๐Ÿค“ It is a package that technically hasn’t been released to the public, but after reading the reviews of everyone that have done it themselves – there seems to be almost zero problems when it comes to installation or use. So I’m gonna do that here in a bit, and I’m also going to attempt to customize some of the different screen backgrounds, just to have a different look than what I’ve been staring at for the past couple of years. ๐Ÿ˜ต Wish me luck.

Physically? I’ve been feeling miserable. With some moments that were on par with the pain that I was experiencing before I even had my surgery. ๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ข Thankfully it still comes and goes, so I just have to deal with it until it goes. And speaking of that disability… I finally received a date and time for the upcoming workers comp trial. ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€โš–๏ธ It’s still a month away, so that leaves time to huddle with the lawyers, or for them to get a continuance yet again for whatever reason they come up with this time.

So yeah, just wanted to pop in here real quick and report back that this has been one of the most “normal” feeling weeks for me in a long time. ๐Ÿ™‚ But like I said, I do feel something changing… not sure if it’s because the 3-day weekend is ending or what, but I’ve been feeling increasingly bleh as the hours click off today. ๐Ÿ˜• Gonna try to do some stuff around the house this evening so I feel somewhat productive, since that usually helps.