Lacking

Waiting out this knee hasn’t been going so well. I even gave in and had my latest couple of prescriptions delivered, since it’s my right knee… so even driving hurts. I do have a followup appointment next month regarding my lower back, so I’ll literally limp along until then (unless it gets better) and go from there with finding out what’s wrong this time.

Only thing I’ve been (slowly) doing around the house is moving furniture around. I know, that sounds contradictory to having a busted knee, but it’s the only thing I can manage to do right now that gives me a purpose or makes me feel useful. Basically I’m getting the two extra bedrooms to where they’ll have either “keeper” tubs or “sale / auction” tubs and boxes. Everything that I know I want to keep, I’ve arranged in new ways in the living room and my bedroom.

It’s neat to have Grandpa’s desk in my bedroom, with my desktop PC on it, considering it had been in the same location in the other bedroom since I was a toddler. I’ve also got a small wooden bookshelf and “toy box” that I’m going to be using in there as well, which I think either Grandpa or Dad (or both) actually made themselves in the basement workshop decades ago.

But feeling like I do right now, still avoiding everyone (for their benefit and mine), and feeling like I don’t have much control over a lot of things in my life right now… easiest thing to control is this stuff within my house, and where it is located. Dumb, but it helps… a little.

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Alright Then

Ended up staying up for most of the night last night, so after seven hours of sleep it was well into the afternoon before I woke up today. But at least I woke up feeling decent. I’m responsible for screwing up my sleep schedule this time, but I’m gonna try to fix it by going to bed early tonight to stop the bleeding before my days and nights are completely inverted.

Gonna start doing some work around here in a little bit, but I’m also gonna try to use today as a jump point for getting my shit together a little better again in general. Things aren’t bad, but I just need to find a flow again, and find some purpose again, to keep my mood pointed in the right direction. That’s why I sometimes like having a significant backlog of “to-do list” stuff that I can tackle at any given moment, because sometimes I need a handful of those smaller things that I can actually accomplish and then feel decent because I “did something” that day.

The only real plan plan that I’ve yet to make for this week is when I’m gonna go over and visit with Mom and Dad. I hate going when my mood is crap, because I feel like my “meh” about things and myself will be obvious and contagious, so I’m mentally gonna aim for Friday – with today and tomorrow going towards helping me feel a little more human. But I’m gonna hop off here and see how today goes… not gonna pin myself down with a bunch of “YOU MUST GET THIS DONE!” stuff, but yeah… heh

Purpose

I was sitting here texting back and forth with Genesee a bit, picking her brain in regards to options for organizing and storing all of the family “memorabilia” that I’ve got. My grandparents‘ stuff, my aunt’s stuff, Mom and Dad’s stuff… there’s actually quite a bit of “stuff worth keepin” that I want to get much more organized than it is right now. (Not to mention my own growing collection of “stuff” to pass along…)

At first I was looking at cardboard boxes or banker’s boxes. There are so many options on Amazon for boxes… but before I really narrowed it down to potentials on there, I decided to start checking around for regular plastic storage tubs at Walmart, Target, Menards, etc. And at Target I found Sterilite 20-gallon bins with latching lids for $5.99 on sale… but they were pretty much sold out everywhere.

After adding the quantity I wanted to my cart, I found that no store within reasonable driving distance had enough to fill the order… until I did some tweaking and switched the color to the ugly purple offering – and then boom, more than enough for my needs. So tomorrow I’ll be driving my soon-to-be-organized ass to Reynoldsburg to pick up twelve of these suckers. And until tomorrow I’ll be hoping they actually have that many, that they (and their lids) won’t be broken or cracked, and that they’ll all fit in my car for the ride back home with me.

Again, I know this will seem silly to most people, but even just the searching and planning and ordering of these storage tubs helped put my brain at ease this evening. I needed something to give me a brief bit of purpose, and then once I have them – there’s even more purpose… for me to continue going through stuff, sorting it, stashing it, labeling it, etc. I just want to be a good “keeper of the Batina Archive” so even though my twitchy brain pushed me into it in a way, it’s still a beneficial thing for me to do despite the instigating factor… so it’s all good.