Not What I Planned

Yup, like I said, last night was fun, but I’ll be paying for it today. Thinking that this would be a lazy Sunday, I made the mistake of pushing a bunch of things from last week off until today. I’ve gotta handle my mail, work on a bunch of stuff regarding my upcoming IC hearing, listen to my voice mails and deal with whatever those require, plus I’ve gotta call the pharmacy to continue trying to get my current prescriptions filled…. and that’s all gonna be a lot harder now with a frozen neck.

Of course because of the physical aspect, but also because it’s particularly stressful to be coordinating my fight against workers comp and struggling to get my meds filled while I’m experiencing the exact thing that they’re fighting me over. It’s emotional stress that makes the physical stress worse, which makes the emotional stress worse, ad infinitum… the ouroboros of my disability. 😞

When that cycle starts it’s hard to escape. That’s why I worry so much about things like my planned concert trip later this year. Yesterday, my only concern with meeting up with my friends was that I might be too tired to do it, but then my shoulder shows up too, goes nuts, and now today is screwed. If I make just the smallest misstep, things can go downhill so quickly.

So I’m gonna wait a little longer for the morning meds to kick in, then I’ll start slowly tackling this stuff. But ugh… cringing about what else the mail might contain, cringing about what the voice mails might say, cringing about yet another hearing that will determine the quality of my life for the indefinite future… it would just be nice if I felt like I had some control of where my life is heading.

It’s probably partially my fault for not dealing with stuff as it showed up, but again I made the mistake of thinking that because I felt okay on those particular days that I’d feel okay today when I planned to deal with everything. Meh… I have very little control over how this will all turn out, so I might as well just power through it as best as I can and then give it up to God. And yeah… this counts as a negative post.

Slipped My Mind

When Toni and Matt were getting ready to move into their new place, Matt had gotten in touch with me and asked if I had any security cameras that he could use until everything was moved and they were totally settled in there. Now, at that time they didn’t have the internet activated, so there really wasn’t much I could provide that would be helpful. I had one small camera that could record to a microSD card, but it wasn’t meant for 24/7 monitoring – and besides, if someone broke in, they’d just take the camera along with whatever else they wanted, and nobody would be the wiser. 😏

Well, they’ve been living there for months now… but for some reason, after that one time of me and Matt trying to figure something out for security cameras, the whole idea of it had completely left my thoughts. 😐 Even after I set up my own house with multiple cameras, and after I got a camera for Genesee, I still didn’t think until just earlier tonight that Matt and Toni are probably the two people that need cameras like that the most. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I wouldn’t say that their area of town is that much more sketchy than any otherΒ neighborhood you might pick on a map, but it’s an area that’s definitely more activeΒ – with random assholes on the street, on the sidewalks, in the back alleys… 😯

I don’t need to justify it, but Toni really does a lot for me, Mom, and Dad, and she’s always been that way. A “helper” like her mother. πŸ™‚ And that is just the excuse that I need to get her and Matt a couple of the security cameras like I use here at my house. If I was a good cousin I would have thought to do this for them months ago, because Toni works hard for her stuff, Matt works hard for his stuff – and neither of them should ever have to deal with any of their stuff going missing… at least not without video to show them who did it. πŸ“ΉπŸ˜―

I’m still amazed at the features of these “Yi” branded cameras, which you can still get for about $20. They’re the older models, and only 720p resolution, but they’re still absolutely fine for basic security needs like theirs. And like I told Toni, when she said she’d pay me back… I told her that I was happy to get them a couple of the cameras so they could play around with them and see what they thought – and then rather than paying me back, I told her to just take that money and put it towards a couple more cameras if they end up becoming fans and wanna expand their web of surveillance. 😎