Am I Ready For This?

I burned out early today. Woke up and began work on a bullet list of questions and concerns regarding the settlement talks that may start soon. Plus I banged out a quick letter to go along with it, basically expressing my concerns about some of the things that have been suggested so far, and making sure that this upcoming meeting is one where we’re going to further discuss things – and not one where they’ve got papers that I’m expected to be ready to sign.

So I dropped that off in the mail when I went in town to hit the pharmacy again. Half-success this time. One of my two workers comp medications was approved and covered, but I had to pay for the other one in order to not go without for who knows how long. Luckily I dealt with the two people there who are probably the most familiar with how I get jerked around, and they were both great and did everything they could to help.

That doesn’t sound like I did much, but starting on that stuff when I woke up, spending a good amount of time making a list of all the things that stress me out about the idea of a settlement, along with making it clear that I’m not super enticed by the whole thing yet… I obviously don’t want to appear “difficult” to my attorneys, but I’m also making sure they know from the start that I don’t want to get stepped on.

So working on that, trying to make the letter and list as brief-yet-effective as possible, and then immediately going in and dealing with the continuing stress (that happens each month) of trying to simply get my normal medication. When there’s three different WC related trajectories that are coming to a head, and I focus my thoughts and energy on just those things for several hours… heh… I just can’t really do that. Not if I want to be of much use in the later afternoon and evening. All of the “ugh” just wears me out.

But I completed the important things today, so I’ll let it slide that I wasn’t able to do much more than that for the rest of the day. Reset tonight and start again tomorrow. Hopefully they get that letter tomorrow, before anybody gets ahead of themselves, and before he calls me to set up that meeting. I’d just prefer them to be at least close to “on the same page as me” before I go up there and potentially waste anybody’s time.

In this situation, I imagine that a settlement requires concessions from both sides, where the final product isn’t necessarily something that either side is thrilled about… but with as much unneeded stress, anxiety, delays, hearings, pharmacy difficulties, etc that they’ve injected into my life (and it’s still ongoing…) nobody should expect me to come to the table and be an agreeable broken person that’s just gonna be happy with whatever scraps they may be willing to give me. I want my team to lean on these people with a force stronger than they might even realize they’re capable of. 😠

Still Working Through It

I mailed out my rebuttal report yesterday, so today I called my lead attorney to let him know to expect it, leaving a brief message describing what I thought about the doctor’s IME report and explaining that even though I know they’ve got the situation covered – that I hoped the information I provided will help them out. πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€πŸ’ΌπŸ€“πŸ—’οΈπŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I also told him a return call wasn’t necessary, since I really would like to get this all out of my thoughts, but that he could of course call if he had any questions after he spoke with my doctor. πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€βš•οΈ

I realized today, though, that even though I supplied all of that extra information for my attorneys to use as they see fit, that it’s going to be hard to stop thinking about it and to stop subconsciously “defending myself” until I’ve really done everything that I can to prepare for the hearing. πŸ€”πŸ€¨ And the Industrial Commission hearings have proved to be a mixed bag for me. It’s a very stressful and anxiety-filled situation to be in, so I don’t remember every detail from every hearing… but I do know that sometimes I’ve been asked questions, sometimes I’ve been asked nothing and basically just sat there, and sometimes I’ve been asked if there was anything in general that I wanted to add.

If they decide to ask me questions, that’s great… because one good thing about my answers, because they’re based on the truth and over a decade of experience, my answers won’t be much different from anything that I’ve said to them, to any of my doctors, or anyone else in the past many years.Β But if they ask if I have anything that I’d like to add, that’s where I now need to focus my thoughts – and figure out the most concise way to convey the most amount of (what I believe is)Β relevant and important information.

I’m literally at the mercy of this “deciding body” when it comes to my future medical treatment, so I can’t afford to stumble over my words or not know what I want to say if given the opportunity to speak. So probably over the next day or two I’ll start jotting down several points, and then turn that into something that will hopefully be effective when delivered. πŸ˜•πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

When there’s a new doctor that has provided a new report that has all kinds of new claims and allegations, some of which I absolutely disagree with… some of which are simply false (there’s no other way to say it)… that’s a change since the last hearing, so of course any references to that in my comments would also be “all new information” that I’d be responding with. So I think you can see why I’m still feeling anxious, having not yet prepared what will basically be my “closing statement” if it’s asked for. πŸ˜“ So that’s the plan for the weekend.

Even if I’m not asked to speak, even if I end up not using it – obviously I’ll feel much better knowing that I’m prepared rather than not, and I’m hoping that will help me feel a little less nervous about the whole thing while I wait for all of the official paperwork to start pouring in, along with a notification of the date that the hearing will actually happen. πŸ™‚πŸ€žπŸ»πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ™πŸ» (And hopefully I won’t mention any of it for a while after this.)

In His Own Words

  • “Why do you think CEOs are leaving your manufacturing council?”
  • CEOs are not taking their job seriously, they have a lot of their product made outside of the country, we want products made in the country, they’re leaving out of embarrassment, I’ve been lecturing them that they have to bring it back to this country.

The CEOs are taking their jobs seriously, as production outside of the US is often more cost effective. Also, most of Trump’s products that he sells are not made in the USA, and ZERO of Ivanka Trump’s fashion line is made in the USA. So if he’s been lecturing anyone, it’s as a hypocrite, and the CEOs likely tired of it. They didn’t join a council to be ordered around, and they certainly didn’t leave from embarrassment… other than embarrassment of being associated with this clown of a president.

  • “Why did you wait so long to (condemn the racist groups by name)?”
  • I didn’t wait long. (Narrator’s Voice: He did.) You don’t make statements unless you know the fact. (sic) It takes a while to get the facts, you still don’t know the facts. When I make a statement I like to be correct. A lot of the event didn’t even happen yet. Making the statement when I made it was excellent.

What?? You want people to believe that you didn’t know that the assembly had members of white nationalist, KKK, and Nazi supporters? What?? Also, when he makes a statement he likes to be correct. Heh… okay. And folks were literally waiting, and waiting, and waiting for his first statement. Enough had happened that he could and should have commented. Very few people thought it was “excellent.”

  • “Did you miss a critical moment where you could have brought the country together?”
  • I’ve created a million jobs, the economy is booming, the stock market is setting records, we have the highest employment numbers we’ve ever had, etc, etc… so the head of Walmart was making a political statement.

*long sigh* Β … Β also, WHAT?? It’s like he has no human concept of “bringing together” that doesn’t involve money or tangible things.

  • (he continues) … Everyone said my statement was beautiful. Frankly, people still don’t know all of the facts. The second statement was made with knowledge.

What other facts do you need to know before you can condemn racial hate groups by name?

  • You can call it terrorism, you can call it murder, I would just call it as the fastest one to come up with a good verdict.

*blank stare* Β … Β more word salad

  • “Senator McCain linked the alt-right to the perpetrators at Charlottesville”
  • (After bashing McCain for a bit) … What about the alt-left that came charging at them? Do they have any semblance of guilt? Do they have any problem? I think they do. I watched it much more closely than you people watched it. I’m not finished, Fake News… they came charging in, without a permit, and they were very, very violent.

Immediately attacking the side that is widely supported by the general public = not the best idea. Also, if you were watching it more closely than anyone else, how did you miss the “fact” of who it was that was hosting the rally?

Ugh… I can’t even watch any more of this spectacle in order to do the play-by-play like this. In terms of PR this was a complete shit show, a dumpster fire… whatever horrible metaphor you want to use. Now he’s talking about millions of jobs helping race relations. This makes my head hurt, seriously. He’s spending on inner cities, far more than anyone before him, blah blah blah… okay, I’m done here.

Heh… d00d just bluntly said “What makes you think you’ll get an infrastructure bill when you couldn’t get a healthcare bill?” Good on the press, for not letting him walk all over them anymore. To their credit, they didn’t let up on him.