Cash Grab

In the interest of psychological self-preservation, I’ve steered clear of reading too much Twitter or watching too much political news today. 🀨 That’s probably something I should consider doing permanently… instead of trying to always stay up to date on the latest breaking news, maybe I should take a couple days’ break between absorbing all of the awfulness. πŸ€” I’m sure I’d end up hearing about it if anything urgent actually happened, but the rest of it should be easy enough to consume in summary form for the previous couple of days. πŸ€“ Meh… it’s a thought anyway…

I was blessed to receive a “catch up” sleep last night. I think I ended up crashing around 5:00am, and didn’t wake up until 3:00pm… so despite my schedule getting a little screwed up due to the sleep schedule adjustment, waking up feeling rested and without much pain was a godsend. – so I can overlook the inconvenience it’ll probably cause.

I got another small surprise in the mail today. While I’m normally not a fan of bands/artists re-releasing their albums with “bonus tracks” after everyone has already bought the original… because I liked nearly every single track on Skillet’s album Unleashed, I went ahead and gritted my teefs and clicked the “buy” button when they announced that they were releasing Unleashed Beyond – which has five brand new tracks and two remixes of songs already on the original disc. πŸ˜ƒπŸ€˜πŸ» I haven’t listened to it yet, but I’m 90% sure that I’m gonna like the new stuff.

So yeah… honestly even though it’s the early evening, I really feel like my day is only just getting started – and right now my mind is clear, I’ve not set any obligations for myself, so hopefully it’ll just be a mix of lazy, doing a little of this and that, and trying to keep it from ending up crappy for whatever reason. I felt a twinge of maybe wanting to take some photos again, so maybe I’ll look about and see what types of new features and photo slideshow software packages are out there these days.

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Bed and Breakfast

Over the past few days I’ve had 24/7 company here at the house. 😯 Genesee’s friend Tracie flew out to NJ for an extended visit with her, and then Gen provided the return trip home, depositing Tracie at her house and then starting her little break here in Ohio. I’m not sure it was really a break, now that I think about it, because she had plenty of people to see and lots of things to do. But yeah, for a few days I had her and Nesh here. πŸ˜πŸΊπŸ’πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Of course it was impossible for me to adjust… wait… let me start by saying that I was totally glad that she was here, so I’m not bitching about that at all… but when I have trouble just existing by myself here, trying to maintain a sleep schedule that doesn’t have me feeling like death, of course it’s gonna be challenging having company in the house. 😬 But the way I looked at it, the benefit outweighed the complications, and I knew (hoped) that I’d be able to regenerate after they left anyway.

Maven wasn’t thrilled about having a horse in the house, so she generally just avoided us… but on the last day she came into the living room and sat next to me, knowing that I’d keep him away from her if he tried – as if she was thumbing her nose at him. 😏 She’s been up my butt ever since they left… heh… I mean, even more than usual.

With Genesee’s help I finally sorted away all of the boxes of memories from Mom and Dad’s apartment. They’ve been stacked in an extra bedroom for months… but having someone “in the loop” to look through the pictures, school stuff, baby stuff… it just made it so much easier to stay motivated. 😎 She was a big help in sorting out the “old old” photos into a box for Aunt Sharon to go through. Most aren’t labeled… photos of what would be my great aunts and uncles, third cousins, etc – people that really only Aunt Sharon will be able to identify / tell stories about. πŸ‘΅πŸ» I’ve already told her this is the plan, and she’s hoping to make a scrapbook for her kids so the family history doesn’t get somewhat lost as it goes down the generations.

 

“Wake Up, Case 1485729-4”

Fell asleep around dawn and then was awoken by a phone call from one of my attorneys a few hours later. πŸ˜’ We’ve got quite a bit of outstanding issues right now, and after the long weekend I could almost feel this call coming… so much so that I didn’t turn my ringer off, since I did need to talk to him.

This entry might as well be titled “What Else Is Wrong?” since, in part, it’s essentially going to be a sequel to my most recent post. As you may or may not know, I try to keep my online presence as free as possible from a) bitching about my pain/disability, and b) talking about specifics of my workers comp case. Partially out of pride, partially because nobody really wants to hear about it anyway.

I’m not sure I even remember what I used to be like before all of this dominated my life. I know it’s not pleasant now, to put it extremely mildly, and I know it’s a constant pain in the ass… so even though it’s hard to remember, I do miss the time when my life was my own and I wasn’t being led by the nose through by doctor visits, IC hearings, physical disability, medication requirements, mental stress, pharmacy policies, insurance companies, and now actual an actual court case. 😞

I’m just frustrated because we’re less than two months away from the court stuff starting and so far the settlement stuff is going nowhere. πŸ˜• Their side will submit their brief to the court, my side will have a few weeks to reply, and then it starts getting serious. The court will likely want to depose any doctors that have seen or treated me, on both sides, which means I’d have to hope that I could essentially “rent” my doctor for half a day to give testimony – which would be ridiculously expensive. 😣 (Not to mention ridiculously annoying since he’s already submitted report, after report, after report, in writing.)

So my attorney is going to find out how much they’ve paid each year, on average, for my treatment and medication – and then tomorrow or the next day, when I go to the pharmacy to pick up this month’s meds, I’m going to have them print out what the “out of pocket” cost would be for each medication if I was paying for them with no insurance at all. πŸ€“ With those figures we’ll again try to come up with what we believe is a fair settlement, and then they’ll have to decide if the continuing costs of fighting me are worth it – rather than just settling this and making me go away.

I’m just worried that we won’t be able to get this done before the date of the first hearing. I’m sure it’ll be (us) “Here’s our offer.” followed by (them) “Well, that’s nice, but this is what we’re willing to pay.” followed by (us) “C’mon, get out of here… we need at least (this much)” and then (them) “We’re gonna have to think on this.” with (us) “Well we’re gonna have to think on this too.” Heh… so I don’t know what the odds are of avoiding this court case at this point, but I’d think they are slim.

Unpredictable

It’s been a pretty bleh weekend so far. Had trouble sleeping during the week, getting 3-5 hours on average each day/night, then on Friday night I slept for 16 hours. 😳 Sounds great in theory, but then I ended up staying awake until almost dawn today… and to top it off, I was gifted with horrible, horrible nightmares. 😞 Not “boogeyman” type dreams, but more of the “family-based” variety. So I woke up a bit after 12p today with the energy of a boiled potato.

But yesterday, even though I had enough sleep where I could have done it, I just couldn’t make myself go to the Sweet Corn Festival to do the traditional “walkin’ around” with Jim and other friends. The cool weather and constant drizzle didn’t help, but I just didn’t have it in me anyway – so maybe the crap weather was a blessing. πŸ˜’

I’m probably going to drop even further off the radar today than I usually am, so I can hopefully shake off the crappy residual feeling from my dreams by watching the NASCAR double-header… and by possibly doing some random chores around the house during the commercial breaks. πŸ€” It would be nice to start the week a little bit ahead of the game, especially since I never know how my sleep will go anymore.

For the record, there were some good moments over the past several days, and I’ll probably get around to mentioning them at some point… but now is not that time.

Making The Most Of It

I’m feeling a bit antsy this morning. I’ve got a trip coming up with some friends that I scheduled over a month ago, so of course my sleep schedule is all screwed up now as I start to get anxious about it. You know how it is, I just tend to overthink things in general, so my brain has been working overtime to make sure everything goes down as planned, so that everyone has a good time.

We’ve already planned for it to be a mix of business and pleasure. The main guests are Athena and Desiree, since I figured they both deserved a little getaway. Athena, because of all the shit that I’ve done with Cassi that she didn’t get to be a part of, and then Dez, basically because all the girl does is bust her ass. (Work, school, life… heh) Sean gets to come along as well so that Athena doesn’t feel like a third wheel. 😏

But as we were planning it, we knew that we wanted to have some chill time… swimming, cooking weenies and roasting marshmallows over the fire, checking out the abandoned tunnel, etc. (Oh yeah, we’re going for a couple of nights in a cabin at Lake Hope State Park.)Β But then we also wanted to get in as many photo sessions as possible. (The “business” part) There’s gonna be a ton of interesting spots to serve as backgrounds, and there are many planned outfit changes in order to get a lot of different looks in the photos sets. (So if they end up sharing their photos, they can space them out days apart or longer, since they’ll look significantly different from each other.)

I’ve been a depressed blob all week, and I’m still not quite sure how my mood is going to be for all of this, but this is honestly how I have to do things sometimes… schedule them so that they are unavoidable, then *poof* I’m out doing something. πŸ˜’ I’m sure it’ll be fine, I’m sure we’ll all have fun, but that’s why I’m being so twitchy while I pack. Hoping that I got food that everyone will like, and enough of it to last two nights, etc. Meh… I need to stop worrying.

Heh… I just realized, this is another one of those things where people will probably hear about it and think that I’m just off having a grand time without a care in the world, but here I am a day before departure, only 50% sure that I even wanna go. πŸ˜› Another thing that’ll probably bite me in the ass is that everyone else who wants me to take their pictures… they’re gonna see these new ones and either feel snubbed or they’ll be even more intent on me scheduling something with them. Heh… it’s so weird… how little interest I have in the hobby right now. πŸ˜•

Okay, basically I just wanted to bust out an entry to get some of this nervous energy out, but since I don’t really want people to know that I’m not gonna be home for a couple of days – even though I wrote this in the early AM of July 30th, I’m gonna schedule it to post after the trip is already done and I’m back home. πŸ€“ So if you’re reading this, you can figure the trip didn’t turn out to be shit… ‘cuz otherwise I would have deleted it before it even showed up. Alright, back to work…

EDIT: And to make things a little more interesting, since Dezzy is only able to stay the first night, when it’s time for her to go home Cassi is going to come down and take her place. πŸ˜… I’m going to be taking so many pictures on these next couple of days that it’s likely I won’t want to touch a camera again for a long, long while… heh Β but Chelsea and Ariel have both been waiting, oy.