Meh…

Haven’t blogged for a while, but also haven’t really done anything for a while. I did get out of the house yesterday, but it ended up being just a supply run rather than the “go for a ride” or whatever that I was trying to psych myself up for when I woke up. I suppose the trade off was worth it, since I now have six different entrees from Olive Garden and a few salads to work on during the next several days, but the trip out – and then having a full belly – used up any spare energy that I had yesterday.

It was gray, rainy, and miserable though… much like today… so it’s not like I missed out on much by skipping the aimless driving. Having said that, it’s a little after 9a right now and again I’m trying to psych myself up to get out of the house for a bit. My experience yesterday proves that I need to do that more. Just getting out in the world, among the people, even if still in my car and not really among the people.

I think I’ve mentioned it before, how even before the pandemic it’s not like I was doing great when it came to getting out and mixing it up with the humans, and now during – and likely after – it all, I can already tell that it’s going to be harder for me to get back to some kind of “normal” than I think it will be for most folks. Even if the final results end up being not nearly as bad as predicted or feared, the caution and concern is already burned into my brain and it’s gonna be hard to switch that part off eventually.

I’ve got appointments at the end of the week, so I’ll be out of the house whether I like it or not – so I’m gonna try to make those trips dual purpose, like picking up a pizza to drop off for Dad on my way to or from my WC doctor appointment. I’ve been able to avoid any trips to my attorneys’ office in the near future thanks to phone calls and doing some document stuff digitally, so at least that might not be a concern for a while.

Oh, I finally stopped getting the runaround (via phone/email) regarding a different claim I’ve been working on, so after another week and a half of that crap – getting a call the other day to let me know that everything should be wrapping up with that was a weight off as well. I won’t hold my breath until the mail gets here though, ‘cuz it’s not the first time that all of this particular adventure sounded like it was finished.

So yeah, nothing really that good or that bad lately, just kinda sitting here in idle like half the people in the country right about now. Shoulder kinda comes and goes, again, nothing that good or bad, and my sleep has been pretty screwy lately. But for whatever reason it isn’t stressing me out like it normally would, despite it being annoying when it comes to keeping a human schedule for calls or appointments or whatever.

The only big bummer is the upcoming weekend… since it’s the weekend that Cassi and I were supposed to be going to see BTS perform at MetLife Stadium in NJ. I’ve still technically got tickets, but the rescheduled date is yet to be announced… and to be honest, I think at this point I’d rather it just be cancelled so I can get a refund. Wouldn’t be surprised to see that happen if they can’t decide on a replacement date that still falls within the current year.

Turning Point

Last night was kind of a “trifecta” of things that were needed to finally get the majority of Americans to pay attention to what’s going on, and possibly take appropriate precautions. The speech that Donald Trump gave from the Oval Office… oy… I mean, say what you will about that performance, but that was the first thing that perked up people’s ears to the situation.

Then the news that Tom Hanks and his wife are confirmed to have COVID-19… because some people see it as more “real” if someone famous gets it, I guess. And then all of the sports stuff. Games being played in front of empty arenas, a few players being diagnosed with the virus, and then the big shebang when entire seasons started getting cancelled. I really feel like those things combined have effectively opened up a lot of eyes a little more than they were.

And while I already had a decent amount of food in the house… at least enough where I could “get by” for a couple of weeks if I had to really stretch it out – I decided that it was probably a good idea to make one last trip out to the grocery store today, mostly to top off on some non-perishable items. Just in case things get bad… just in case things go for a week, or a couple weeks, or who knows…

Shopping gives me anxiety even on the good days, so I was surprised that today’s trip wasn’t that bad. Nobody was interacting with each other, or even really getting close in proximity. What we were doing was watching everyone else. Heh… all of us, watching everyone else, cautiously looking for any signs of illness that we thought we’d be able to see. Even in the checkout lines, people kept a good amount of space between each other’s carts. Oh, and the toilet paper situation? The aisle was probably 85% empty… but there was still name brand stuff available, and I was able to grab a six-pack of Angel Soft without anyone tackling me for it or even hurriedly grabbing a pack before or after I did.

Maybe I should have already done this. Maybe it wasn’t a great idea to go into a store for this stuff… I dunno… these are unprecedented times for my generation. Hard to say how careful or concerned we should really be, but I know I’m gonna do my best to avoid the virus – and to especially make sure that I don’t hand it off to anyone else if I happen to get it.

Unfortunate Opportunity

In the same way that it can be awkward to discuss “after death” financial topics with someone from whom you might be getting an inheritance, talking publicly about investment possibilities that are coming on the back of a stock market that’s plummeting due to fear of a COVID-19 pandemic… it does feel a little bit wrong, but the opportunities of a down market also cannot be ignored. ๐Ÿ˜

The Dow Jones has lost more than 12% of its value over the past seven days of trading. Unfortunately, the cause isn’t solely due to “scary thoughts” around the spread of the virus. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ With China being ground zero, the precautions that need to be taken and the effects that are already being experienced by the industries and workforce there… it was inevitable that markets around the world would reflect the disruption. ๐Ÿ˜ณ Global economies, global trade, global investing… it’s all great stuff, until it isn’t.

Before COVID-19 was even a thing, I had already started researching different types of investing that my family (historically speaking) never really took advantage of. ๐Ÿค” I’ve tended to use methods that I’ve seen work for my dad and my aunt, and they probably used methods that they saw work for their parents. ๐Ÿง It makes investing feel comfortable, but the returns are usually modest in comparison.

The volatility in the markets isn’t going anywhere, so I’ll have plenty of time to continue reading, learning, and eventually planning… even if “the plan” ends up being that I don’t change much of anything. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ And while loads of people have been cashing out, to “protect” their gains from the past year or longer, the farther the markets fall – the better it is for folks who are only just now wanting to get in. ๐Ÿคจ

I suppose I should mention that I’m not thinking about individual stocks when I’m talking about all of this. I don’t know enough yet to speculate on individual companies and their ability to bounce back. I’m thinking mostly about ETFs with holdings that are properly weighted to match gains / losses of the Dow. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿค“

Historically, you’re on pretty solid ground if that’s what you’re invested in… but just as there have been extremely good years, there have been some really bad ones as well. More often than not though, the gains for each year have been remarkably good. (Which doesn’t mean a heck of a lot if you didn’t buy your shares on (and only on) January 1st of each year… heh) Meh… just kinda thinkin’ here… ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™‚

Shoulda Coulda Woulda

Fell asleep early yesterday, woke up at 3am, then fell asleep around 9am and slept through 2p. ๐Ÿ˜

Yeah, so anyway… how about that Tesla stock, eh? ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™‚

I swear, there’s been so many things that I took a look at when they were really low. Whether it was eBay, PayPal, Bitcoin… it’s a little frustrating to be able to say “Man, I actually pondered getting in on that.” now that all of those things have gone through the roof at some point. ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜’

I’ve never been a stock investor and likely never will be, in part because my history with silver isn’t great. It’s silly to let one investment chase me away from the idea of investing in something else, especially when it’s not like I’m doing bad. Silver is pretty damn low right now, although there seems to be a really small recover curve going on… but my investment in that, my purchased averaged out – I need it to be at around $22 an ounce before I can even break even. ๐Ÿคจ I’ll be holding on to that for a while, it seems…

If we could only predict the future. And while I get why there is hype behind the company and their products, there’s no reason the stock should be this high. ๐Ÿ˜… Their financials are a bit of a mess, Elon is a wildcard with all of his antics and sometimes-questionable investment choices, so to see the stock go from the $200 range to the $900 range in six months’ time… it’s kinda ridiculous. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ง

tesla

Model 3 production rates have helped, along with the excitement (and sometimes confusion) about the CyberTruck, and with China being almost 15% of their market it was a smart choice to build their most recent GigaFactory there. But even though they tout the $35k starting price for a base-spec Model 3 as being an “entry level” price, I don’t think things will really blow up until their market segment includes shlubs like me.

The early Roadster was their sports car, then the Model S came along as their near-luxury sedan, followed by the Model X to serve as a crossover, and then the Model 3 (basically a smaller Model S) for the mass market. Vehicles coming down the pipeline are the Model Y which is an updated crossover, the CyberTruck for the pickup segment, and then the semi. ๐Ÿค” Now, I understand why he’d go after the transport industry, injecting a bunch of money into the company to further whatever “the next thing” will be, but it’s disappointing that Tesla is not yet able to provide a small, $25k range subcompact hatch.

If Elon and crew can ramp up the production lines to where they can really produce on the Y and CyberTruck, that’s when investors need to start looking for hints about the next vehicle. First hint is China. New factory in China, lots of people there wanting to buy, and cities outside of the United States have a lot of roads that aren’t built for bigger cars – or they are dominated by mass transit. ๐Ÿค“ So not only would customers benefit from the lower price, a smaller car would also be infinitely more practical and, therefore, marketable. ๐Ÿค‘

Meh… don’t mind me, this is just one of the thousands of things that come and go from my brain at any given point during the week. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ I kinda wonder how it has the room or processing cycles sometimes.

Same Ol’ Song and Dance

Ended up staying awake for 28 hours straight, then slept from 8a to 3p today… so now I’m likely to be up all night, which doesn’t really help with my plans for tomorrow in the early afternoon. I’ll keep my fingers crossed regarding that, but man… so glad to finally have my medication in hand. It took some oomph to get up and go in town to get it, but yeah… this month was ridiculous when it came to getting these filled. They weren’t even new scripts, just refills.

If I didn’t know how much I’d hurt, and how negatively my ability would be affected, I’d try to wean myself off of this shit. Not only do I have to go through this routine nearly every month, but in the days leading up to when I call for my refills – I’m already starting to worry what type of clusterfuck will happen this time, that will end up with me going through temporary withdrawals. So basically 1/3 of every month is either spent worrying about my refills, waiting for my refills, or suffering withdrawals from being delayed from getting my refills.

Gah… so tired of it. But yeah, I think frustration built up over the past couple of days, which is why I ended up barfing out those two super-long recent blog entries about all the stuff going on down in Florida. I needed something to take my mind off of how I was feeling, and that seemed to do the trick. But it looks like I’m going to have to set back even more of my meds for the end of the month from here on out. Shouldn’t have to short myself each day just to make sure I don’t run out when I get screwed over, but yeah, I guess that’s what I have to do.

Believe it or not, even though my court case was back in the middle of February, they still haven’t made a determination. That might account for some of the delay, if they were waiting and hoping that I’d lose my right to those meds, but who knows. Whenever I do get a chance to talk to my lawyers next though, I do intend to point out what’s being done each month to see if there’s something that they can do – or even if it could be seen as some sort of spiteful or unjust action that could carry some sort of penalties for them.

Reality tells me there’s not shit they can do, that I can be yanked around basically as much as they wanna yank me around, and that it’s up to me to figure out how to protect myself towards the end of each month. Ahh, what a feeling.