Short Summaries

So, Jason’s son’s viewing was today… Jim G confirmed that his back is screwed, after hurting it at work – and now he’s beginning his sessions with a chiropractor… I made it to the ENT and it went as expected, a quick look-over and then he put in for the biopsy order, and he’ll be the one to interpret the results and where we go at that point… I just have to wait for them to call next week to let me know when.

The sensor in my car is saying that I’ve got a tire that’s losing air… I felt pretty good today overall, or at least compared to the “me” of a few weeks ago, so I’ve been debating tonight what all I wanna try to get done tomorrow… I actually made a call to gently remind someone that they said they were gonna pay me back some of the money they owe me, which is something that I wouldn’t normally do – so I’m not sure how that got into me today…

It feels good to have started reconnecting with some of my FB friends… and it’s even nicer to be reconnecting with my “real life” friends again, even though there seems to be hard times all around, in a variety of ways… had a nice visit with Dad the other day, and spent a little bit of time with Mom as well as she got ready for dinner… I’m looking forward to this weekend though… it’s gonna be a mix of doing a whole lot of nothin’ combined with someΒ “Shit, I better start on this laundry / these dishes / the carpet / that stack of papers”Β since things have backed up over the duration of my back issues heh…

I’m not letting the good mood go to my head though. I know it can leave as quickly as it showed up.

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Incremental Progress

It’s been a while since I’ve had to work… but all of these doctors, specialists, tests, and referrals that I’m dealing with right now – I can’t imagine how someone with a job would be able to do hardly any of it. Since last Friday, there’s only been one weekday where I didn’t have to be out and doing something related to my current medical situation. πŸ˜’

Like I told my dad though… I know that this is just what people have to do to keep their motors running, but I’m just having a hard time adjusting to needing all of the maintenance. I mean, my neck and shoulder have been fucked for a decade, yeah, but other than that I’ve been mostly healthy and capable. 😐 So suddenly dealing with multiple new medical things, plus adding dentist stuff on top of it… having it consume so much time on so many days… it’s just hard for me to get used to it when I’m feeling miserable, considering that my schedule essentially used to be blank prior to all this.

It really is all headed in the right direction though. And I appreciate that my doctor’s office calls me quite often, nudging me to do whatever it is that they’ve wanted me to do, making sure I’m making the appointments with the specialists. 😏 I actually need that, since my fucked back has been the only thing constantly in my brain for a while now.

Cassi came down yesterday to help me out, which I really appreciated. Sitting here in the messy house was twitching me out, so she came down and picked up the living room, vacuumed, took the trash buggy out to the curb, did some laundry… just stuff to make my brain a little happier, and so I didn’t have to push myself too hard too soon. I was also able to see Dez the other day, by stopping by her job after my ultrasound and hoping that she might be getting off work… that way I wouldn’t have to try and walk inside. (And I probably wouldn’t have, because it’s embarrassing, the way I have to move in order to not hurt.)

We sat in the parking lot and talked for almost a half hour, and I gave her her birthday/graduation present along with a letter that I had written her in case we didn’t get to talk when I dropped it off. 😊 She told me all about the past couple of months, and she was so happy with her present. I think it wasn’t even so much about what it was, but more that even though I’ve been kinda “gone” lately – I was still thinking about her, being proud of what she’s accomplished, and wanted to give her something nice to hopefully brighten her day. πŸ™‚ But yeah… it was nice seeing her again… she’s a great kid.

The Misc Stuff

Okay, so I’m not totally doing nothing with my day today. Along with a little bit of this and that, here and there, I also just talked with the guy who runs the landscaping company responsible for mowing my lawn every week and a half. He said he’s gonna send a couple of his d00ds over tomorrow to work on a bunch of the miscellaneous stuff outside that needs someone’s attention.

Shortly after the hedge trimmers completed their job, I grabbed a notepad and jotted down a short list of things that I was hoping Jason’s crew could handle next, and told him he could just hit it whenever he had a gap in the schedule. πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€πŸŒΎπŸ“…πŸŒ²πŸŒ³πŸšœ Along with manpower, I hope they’ll also be coming with an empty trailer big enough to haul stuff away – because that’s one of the first things on the list. 🀨 Hauling away the huge mound of clippings out front, the remnants of the shed out back, and then several boards and posts – many of which came from the fence that used to be out front.

The other thing that I’m anxious to see completed is the clearing out of the “extra” plant life that’s growing inside the pine tree out front. 😳 Like leafy parasites, there’s at least one fairly grown sapling poking its head out (likely from the neighbor’s nearby tree) and then a growth of vines that is trying to make its way up the pine tree’s branches as well. 😯 I hope, for the lawn d00ds’ sake, that it isn’t poison ivy… but I suppose they know how to handle that shit without getting covered in it.

I think I might have had three or four more things on that list… πŸ€” but I’ll be here when they show up tomorrow, so I’ll just have the security cameras set up to squawk at me when company arrives – then I can just go out and meet up with them and run through the list to see what all will be doable on that day. I’m glad he got in touch though… I almost forgot that I gave him that list, but now it’ll be nice to see “stuff getting done” tomorrow, even if I’m not that one that’s actually doing it. πŸ™„πŸ˜

The Purge

I’m trying to motivate myself to continue the work that I’ve been doing around the house. I moved my desk and desktop PC into the living room, effectively making the back bedroom “without purpose” and currently just serving as storage for that stuff that I want to sell or donate away. πŸ€” If I do a couple more things in the living room it will be how I want it, with the stuff that I want in it, and I can move on to other rooms.

I just have a ridiculous amount of stuff for one person… much of it inherited when I moved into this house. πŸ™‡πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ There are sentimental things, which will of course be kept / saved, but there’s plenty of “just stuff” stuff that can just go. 😏 I think I need to rid myself of the excess so that, if I decide to do so, I’ll be able to pack up and move out of here without it being as huge of a pain in the ass that it might be otherwise.

A few people have mentioned to me that the older you get, the less important “stuff” truly is to you. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ And, feeling like I’ve aged a couple of decades in the past couple of years, I have to admit that I feel somewhat the same. I mean, I’m not interested in liquidating everything that I own… but yeah, there’s a point where “more stuff” is just more hassle, whether actively or just because it sits in the back of my mind, knowing it’s there and should be managed or dealt with or whatever. πŸ™„ So, for a lot of people, the idea of getting rid of as much excess as possible… it’s not that strange.

Believe it or not, if I had all of the rubbermaid tubs of family memorabilia tucked away in a storage unit, I could honestly get rid of most everything else in this house and still be happy. πŸ™‚ Heh… it’s like the way my friend Jim lived for a long time. He had a two bedroom apartment, but one bedroom was only used to store stuff, he had no dining room table, no living room furniture, and was quite content with his bedroom set up awesomely enough that he never felt the need to spend much time in any of the other rooms. πŸ˜„ I thought it was weird at the time, but I can see how it would feel freeing now…

That Doesn’t Go There

Rather than sitting around the house grumbling, I decided to focus my frustration on making some changes here. Oh, and yesterday I also got a text that my prescriptionΒ  is ready to be picked up. πŸ˜‘πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I swear they just wait to see if I’ll keep forcing this process to continue before just authorizing it. πŸ™„ But anyway, realizing that the reason I rarely use the desktop computer is mostly because it’s in the back bedroom, and that bedroom is friggin’ cold… and purple… I decided to move my desk (and the computer) out into the living room. πŸ€”

It doesn’t actually look right in the living room, at least not yet, but I made the decision based on my “I rarely have company, so I could even move my bed into the living room if I wanted to” theory. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ But I enjoyed the process of setting it up and using zip-ties on all of the cords and cables to make it as neat as possible. The printer is wireless, so it can stay back in the purple room for now, and since the PC has bluetooth I can broadcast audio to the good stereo here in the living room as well. (Which might encourage me to create a new tracker tune at some point… as unlikely as that may be.)

If I could figure out where to move my bookshelf I could also bring the keyboard out of the yellow bedroom and get it hooked up to the computer as well. I’ve got a USB MIDI adapter that I’ve never put to use, so that idea has been clanking around my head too. But really I want the purple room to just be storage for stuff I’m going to sell or donate, the yellow room as a real extra bedroom, so I’m just starting to move and condense stuff as needed. It may be nothing, but it makes me feel productive.

Mixed Emotions

While Genesee was here we were of course talking about all sorts of memories, and we even watched some old home videos that I’ve got uploaded to YouTube in an “unlisted” area. As we watched some of the Atlantic City videos we got to talking about the story behind how I found and got her a key from The Continental motel for Christmas last year, which just so happened to be a key to a room that we actually stayed in – with video proof, as I walked up to and recorded the number on the door (like the nerd that I am) with the camcorder. 😏 It really was amazing…

That then immediately made me remember how I made an awesome, lengthy blog post about it… but then due to certain people reading my blog and giving me shit about the choices I was making in my life – I ended up deleting the entire blog without archiving it. πŸ˜” So unless I find some internet archiving site that managed to capture it, that post (and all the others from that short era) is gone forever. And if you know me, you know that’s not like me at all – just impulsively wiping out a significant chunk of my own history. 😠

That’s what happens though when you’ve got someone who’s words meant everything to you, suddenly and repeatedly getting really fucking shitty about things. πŸ˜’ Rather than leaving my words up here to be picked apart and used against me, I just instinctively made them go away – theorizing that without a detailed view into my life, there’d be less for anyone to be shitty about. πŸ™‡πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Meh… I still deal with internal mental fallout from that (and other things) every single day. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ In fact, it’s usually the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing I think about before falling asleep. Good times.

But anyway… speaking of memories… another fun thing to come from going through the old photos was discovering a stack that focused on school parties, birthdays, and holidays with friends when I was little. And thanks to Facebook, I’m still linked to a lot of the friends that were also in those photos – so it was a good time when I scanned and posted a bunch of them. πŸ™‚ My god… the outfits and haircuts are so embarrassing, but everyone was excited to see them and laugh.

That’s one thing that I’m glad of, and one thing that a lot of friends are jealous about… how Mom and Dad documented and saved so, so much stuff from when I was little. 😊 Tons of photos, stacks of old school papers, favorite books, favorite stuffed animals, baby books filled out with all sorts of details about me… it’s just an amazing amount of stuff from my birth onward that I’ve got here – stuff that a lot of people’s parents never bothered doing/saving. I’m lucky to have it all.

Bed and Breakfast

Over the past few days I’ve had 24/7 company here at the house. 😯 Genesee’s friend Tracie flew out to NJ for an extended visit with her, and then Gen provided the return trip home, depositing Tracie at her house and then starting her little break here in Ohio. I’m not sure it was really a break, now that I think about it, because she had plenty of people to see and lots of things to do. But yeah, for a few days I had her and Nesh here. πŸ˜πŸΊπŸ’πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Of course it was impossible for me to adjust… wait… let me start by saying that I was totally glad that she was here, so I’m not bitching about that at all… but when I have trouble just existing by myself here, trying to maintain a sleep schedule that doesn’t have me feeling like death, of course it’s gonna be challenging having company in the house. 😬 But the way I looked at it, the benefit outweighed the complications, and I knew (hoped) that I’d be able to regenerate after they left anyway.

Maven wasn’t thrilled about having a horse in the house, so she generally just avoided us… but on the last day she came into the living room and sat next to me, knowing that I’d keep him away from her if he tried – as if she was thumbing her nose at him. 😏 She’s been up my butt ever since they left… heh… I mean, even more than usual.

With Genesee’s help I finally sorted away all of the boxes of memories from Mom and Dad’s apartment. They’ve been stacked in an extra bedroom for months… but having someone “in the loop” to look through the pictures, school stuff, baby stuff… it just made it so much easier to stay motivated. 😎 She was a big help in sorting out the “old old” photos into a box for Aunt Sharon to go through. Most aren’t labeled… photos of what would be my great aunts and uncles, third cousins, etc – people that really only Aunt Sharon will be able to identify / tell stories about. πŸ‘΅πŸ» I’ve already told her this is the plan, and she’s hoping to make a scrapbook for her kids so the family history doesn’t get somewhat lost as it goes down the generations.