Are You Messin’ With Me?

It’s about 3:30am, and I just finished doing up all of my bills and mail from the past week and a half. I said that I wanted to get it taken care of before the weekend was over, and technically that’s what I did. I really gotta work on my mail anxiety though, especially considering that the last couple of times that I let it bulk up like this, there was actually some sort of good news contained within. (But of course, as soon as I let my guard down, that’s when something will flick me in the sack… heh)

This batch also ended up being fairly harmless. I tend to pay ahead a little bit on my utilities… a habit that I picked up from my Aunt Carol… so both the electric and gas bills for this month had a credit listed, with no payment due. ๐Ÿ˜Ž That was a good start, and then the envelope from the BMV was easy to open, since I’ve been expecting a 2021 sticker for my plate. But I saved the potential worst for last. ๐Ÿ˜ณ A couple different, thicker envelopes from my additional “add-on” Medicare insurer.

But nope, those were good ones too. ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ The first was a bunch of official looking statements about having contacted them for manual refiling of claims for the different medications that workers comp has been stiffing me on, and then the other one contained a check for over $900. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ƒ So between this check and the one that I got a couple weeks ago, that’s pretty darn close to the amount that I have paid out of pocket for most of my meds over the past three months. ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป Really, really surprised that ended up working out, since despite all my calls and stuff that I mailed in – they totally could have ghosted me or just said “Nah, piss off.” and it’s not like I could have done anything about it.

Maybe I shouldn’t say that too loud, just in case I need to go through another prolonged, pain-in-the-ass process like that with them again for some other medication. ๐Ÿ˜

Pre-Weekend Check-In

I got my early morning wish granted, and ended up sleeping from around 4am to 4pm today. So I guess when I said that today would be a “do nothing” day, I wasn’t kiddin’ around. ๐Ÿ˜ณ It makes sense though, considering that I did a little more this week than I normally do, and then did the social thing yesterday to top it off. Body has a tendency to just shut down and go into recovery mode after stuff like that. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ And I do feel relatively rejuvenated (at least for now), so that’s awesome, although when I’m “rejuvenated” it’s about the same as topping off the charge on a 3 year old NiCad battery, where you’re really only getting about 75% of the charge that the battery advertises. ๐Ÿ˜ I’m not complaining though.

It’s weird waking up just a couple hours before it gets dark, but with that, along with it being the weekend now, once it gets dark like this and “the day is over” for most folks – that’s when it feels more like my time. Still planning to get started on my bills here shortly, and then after that I’m probably just gonna take it easy through this weekend, picking up little chores here and there as I feel like it. ๐Ÿ™‚ Weather’s supposed to be awesome tomorrow, so I could see myself opening up the house to let the stink blow away as I do some cleaning… if I’m still feeling decent.

It’s been a stressful week for anyone with even a passing interest in the election, and even though I’ve been checking in with Twitter now and then, I think all of us deserve to take the weekend to just chill out about all of this crap and let the processes happen. ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป Donald Trump seems determined to file as many lawsuits as it takes to win, so that’ll be a growing list of agencies, counties, and states dealing with all that. ๐Ÿ˜’ And then the presumptive recounts… honestly, I say bring ’em on, and as soon as possible.

If any votes were counted when they truly shouldn’t have been, then yes, let’s get them out of the totals. And I also believe that there should be an accurate count, like nearly everyone, so I don’t have any issues with any recounts that end up being done. It’s a shame that, even though he disputes the results, Trump can’t do that in a way where he retains a bit of dignity – and where he doesn’t get his followers all worked up with a bunch of claims that lack evidence or are just not based in fact. ๐Ÿคก๐ŸŽ™๏ธ๐Ÿ”Š ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿคฌ … ๐Ÿ˜ž He’d rather lose and make half of the country angry along with him, truly damaging society and its trust in our systems, rather than shutting the fuck up, filing his objections with the court, and confidently requesting recounts.

I’ve never seen someone in such a high position act like such a sore loser. All while trying to convince people that he believes he’s the legitimate winner. Lack of self-awareness in Trump and his supporters has them all full of sour grapes, looking like anything but people who are confident that they should win. ๐Ÿ™„ Thing is, those folks don’t care if he “acts like a president” or confronts this process with composure. Many are just used to getting their way regardless, so they’re having a really hard time now that they’re learning that some things can’t be lied through, and that sometimes facts (finally) do seem to matter.

“This is America. This is the country I have served and defended, that all of my
brothers have served. And here, right matters.” – Lt Col Alexander Vindman, 2019

Heh… see, I said yesterday that I wasn’t gonna garbage up my blog with this, but obviously it’s something I’ve been pretty passionate about over the past four years, so I had to throw at least a bit of it out here. ๐Ÿ˜ I just don’t know when my particular take on things became the minority opinion. Maybe it’s not, and maybe that’s what this election is showing. But I don’t think it’s such a controversial take to say “Let either one of them take their objections to the court, so we can get any problems taken care of. And then if recounts will actually make a difference to either one of them, then sure… have the recounts.”

And like I said, even though none of them are acting like it… Trump could still win. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Tnx, Easter Bunny (Bok Bok!)

The Easter Bunny totally spoiled me again this year. ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿ˜ƒ It was probably the combination of a bunch of candy, lots of little neat / weird / random goodies, some scrunchy / puffy catnip dolls for Maven, and then all of it coming during this time when we’re all bored of seeing and doing the same thing day after day, meaning that whenever anything new and unexpected gets thrown into the mix it’s gonna be a nice treat. ๐Ÿ˜Œ I won’t even get into the details of the “goodies” in the basket, since they’d probably seem rather strange to someone that didn’t know me and Genesee… er… me and the Easter Bunny, rather… ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿ˜ but it’s a perfect little collection of weird stuff for the sake of mental distraction.

I think the EB also caught word that I don’t exactly keep my shelves and fridge stocked with “real” food, so along with the regular basket of goodies I also got two huge bags of food from The Olive Garden. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿคค I ate the cheese sticks as soon as I unpacked stuff, but then there are five more entrees waiting for me, a couple more salads, a ton of bread sticks, and a big piece of cheesecake. ๐Ÿ˜ I had no idea that any of it was coming, other than being told to expect a delivery, so it was a great addition to the other stuff from the bunny.

I can’t think of anything I’ve done lately that should merit me getting spoiled like this, and I do feel bad that I haven’t been able to include Dad in the surprise company and surprise food, but it’s sure gonna be nice to have that “real” food for most of the days coming up this week. ๐Ÿ˜Œ Like I told Gen, I really am stocked up on foodstuffs. ๐Ÿค” Frozen stuff, canned stuff, boxed stuff, etc… and I would have been okay with only that… but this was just really good timing and I really appreciate it.

In other news, a few days ago Wendi had me download Facebook Messenger, that way she could video-chat me and I could see one-month-old Matthew Jr live and in person. ๐Ÿคค And after telling Wendi that I’d “try to get back on Facebook” soon… I’d swear that my words got picked up by the wind and were subliminally scattered to my friends. ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ Because not long after, I had two different friends “find me” on YouTube and Twitter, and then a couple different friends texted me directly… all wanting to know if I was okay, if I was gonna get back on FB, etc – since I really have neglected folks for a long time. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

(Honestly, I think that re-installing Messenger after so long may have caused notifications like “Robert Batina logged on for the first time in six months. Say hello!” or some similar shit like that. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ)

On average my anxiety is still high, but I’m trying to handle the bits of each day in little chunks – rather than worrying about all of them from the moment I wake up. ๐Ÿ˜ณ Cousin Jimmy was another one that hit me up after a couple of months off, and he helped ease my concerns regarding getting back into the social swing of things. ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿคจ He reminded me that everyone on Facebook is now dealing withย at least one shitty, significant “life” thing –ย so I might be able to sneak back in without any fuss or questions about why I vanished. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ I may get into that here sometime, but I’m hoping to keep my eventual return to FB quick and painless.

Okeydoke, enough rambling… heh… I was (good) wired after the surprise company from my cousins yesterday, and now I’m feeling (good) wired from the Easter Bunny totally hooking me up with goodies and a ridiculous amount of food food this year. ๐Ÿ˜… But it is starting to get late, so I should go ahead and shift my brain into neutral and start getting ready for bed sometime here in the next one to eight hours. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

I know everything kinda sucks right now, and it feels nearly unavoidable… but I hope y’all had at least a little unexpected good stuff pop into one of your recent days like it did mine today. ๐Ÿ˜Šย Take care, stay safe. โœŠ๐Ÿป

Youth: Wasted On The Young

Lemme tell ya… ๐Ÿ˜ once I write something, I swear it’s like I’ve invoked the spirits to deliver exactly the opposite. Talking about the awesome weather a few days ago? How I was feeling pretty darn good? ๐Ÿ˜… So of course that meant today the sun rose over a crunchy, icy, snow covered everything. (I know. I was there.) It was pretty, but it’s just that I didn’t catch any forecasts – because I somehow managed to invert my days and nights again, and I’ve ended up feeling a bit off due to it. ๐Ÿค” Or I felt a bit off and that messed up my sleep. Meh… nothing serious, it’s just frustrating (convenience-wise) when I slip from the humans’ schedule.

I think it’s gonna sort itself out tonight though. Woke up before noon yesterday, ended up staying awake all night, then all of today… and now the sun has set, and I think I still have enough oomph to stay up for at least a few more hours. Sounds like a recipe for a good night’s sleep, no? ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿคž๐Ÿป

Maven has been trying to help… by not helping. ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜„ She sticks to me like glue if she senses that my energy is off, so any time I’d try to sleep – whether kicked back in the recliner, on the floor by the heater, or hiding under the covers in bed… as soon as I’d almost nod off, she’d deftly plop down somewhere inconvenient or just directly on me. ๐Ÿ˜ฟ๐Ÿคจ Can’t be mad though… her intentions are good. ๐Ÿ˜บ

So bear with me if I go radio silent for another day or two, or if you’re not able to get me on the phone or via messages. Just getting everything back on track so I can continue this slightly-good streak. ๐Ÿ˜Ž Monthly WC doc appointment is coming up on Monday though, which is always followed by the lengthy, fun approval process (or not) at the pharmacy. ๐Ÿ˜ (I’ll push that to the back of my thoughts for the weekend.) Plus, for after my appointment, I’m gonna make my version of tuna fish sammiches for me and Dad (even though nothing can top Mom’s vacation sammiches ๐Ÿ˜Œ) so that visit will also help to take my mind off of any BS for the duration.

I shall return.

Feels Good

Being only a couple of days before Steven, Cassi, Athena, and their mom start moving, Cassi asked if I’d wanna come visit one more time in the afternoon yesterday – since she knows that once the process starts it’s unlikely that I’ll be making any appearances until it’s over with. ๐Ÿ˜• It’s just that I’ve already told her that I can’t risk trying to help them out, possibly hurting myself in new and exciting ways. And just hanging around while they all hustle about… yeah, no need to emphasize my uselessness in that situation. ๐Ÿ˜’

But since things are about to get pretty crazy for them, I figured I should go up for one more chill visit (and my last time at that apartment) to serve as a distraction for both of us. ๐Ÿ™‚ After hanging out for a while, I remembered that I had a little bit of free play on my casino card. And since money is obviously gonna be tight as they move, I figured I’d go over and play $100… twenty bucks at a time, cashing out any time that I’d double my money, and then whatever “winnings” I ended up with – I’d share with her. ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™‚

Maybe it was karma paying me back for helping Jim out with a little money this month, and then offering to share my winnings with Cassi… but the very first machine I played, I hit for over $500. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ƒ Hell, if that was all that I won during that trip I would have been happy, but then the same machine – just a few pulls later – hit again for over $300. ๐Ÿ˜ Since I was way, way ahead, after that I decided to try a few different machines that I’d never really played before, just as a change of pace.

If I wasn’t hitting decent little wins, they at least kept me “even” so I could keep playing. I eventually left not because I was losing, but because it was getting later and I wanted to spend a little more time with Cassi before it started to get dark dark. After all was said and done, I ended up going home with $700 (including my original investment) and was able to give her $400 to help with moving expenses. ๐Ÿ˜Œ

It always feels good when you can win enough that you can plop down a wad of bills in front of someone, and go “Here.”ย ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜Žย (Especially when it’s legitimately helpful and appreciated.) And in times past when we’ve gone to the casino, I’ve noticed that she breaks down her winnings into five dollar bills before leaving… so I even went to the cashier and had him count out $400 worth of fives for me. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ต (I did give the guy a tip, ‘cuz that was admittedly a slight pain in his ass for him… heh)

So that definitely made yesterday better than average. Didn’t anticipate things turning to shit overnight and waking up feeling like I do today, but I keep reminding myself that other than the lack of sleep and awesome new neck pain – nothing else has changed since that “goody” feeling of yesterday, so I’m trying to get the feeling of this day turned around. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคž๐Ÿป It helps that the weekend is essentially here, so I can recover without any obligations hovering over me.

Makes Sense

I’m gonna make a non-bleh post today… I just have to work up to having the energy to do it. After getting dosed yesterday and coming back home, I honestly didn’t feel any worse… but my gosh, from yesterday evening on… man, am I feeling physically awful. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคฎ I didn’t notice many side effects the first time I had this done, but I also hadn’t gone a month without thyroid meds, already having me weak and feeling like shit. So I should have been a little more prepared that things could feel worse than last time. ๐Ÿ˜ž

That’s not why I posted though. Next post is gonna be about me choosing my Korean name. ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ˜ And I know that sounds bizarre and random and “What are you talking about?” but when I do have the energy to explain it all, how it’s done, why I’m doing it… basically I just wanted to do something to distract my brain for a while yesterday, and later I’ll be able to make a post about it that will help me distract myself again. Hopefully. It’s actually a really interesting process. It’s a shame I don’t know any Korean people personally though, for them to tell me how goofy or old or weird my chosen name sounds. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

But I’m gonna lie back down and hopefully get a short nap to get rid of this headache, but hopefully I’ll be able to get back on here later tonight for all that stuff.

Blank Slate

With the way my past few days had gone, and then getting suckered in by that early evening nap yesterday, I sure didn’t expect to get a decent night of sleep last night anyway and then wake up feeling as good as I do. Keep in mind, it’s always “relatively speaking” when I talk about how I feel… but yup, not too tired, aches and pains aren’t too bad, and whatever ick I’ve been slowly fighting off seems like it may finally be gone.

It’s even fairly warm outside, so I’m gonna go ahead and open up the house to blow some stink out, and maybe do a little of this and that around the house as I watch the race. (Even though, honestly, I probably won’t even really be watching it. I’ve lost so much buzz for NASCAR over the past couple of years.)ย The only mandatory thing for the day is getting the mail opened and bills caught up, but I have a feeling that this will be the first day in a while where I’ll be able to be a little more productive than that without it taking some sort of toll on me. ๐Ÿ™‚ It feels silly to be kinda excited about that, but that speaks to how crappy I feel most days.

And when I was at Walgreens to pick up Dad’s prints the other day, I also went ahead and grabbed what will be a purpose-specific little notebook so I can continue to get my shit together. Sure, I could do it on my phone, but I’ve just been wanting a notebook where (all in one place) I can start listing out all my doctors, addresses, phone numbers, meds prescribed by each one, etc… and in another part I’ll do the same with my lawn guy, potential other handyman/repair/service/etc type people or companies. Just wanting to inject a little more order into my sometimes aimless life. Even if doing all that is almost just for a placebo effect, it’s gonna make my brain happier if I do this and then have all of that information right there at hand whenever I need it. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Meh… guess I should stop rambling and get to enjoyin’ the day, eh? ๐Ÿ˜ย It could be a one-off…ย  heh