It looks like I can just count on one week out of every month being horrible thanks to the runaround I get regarding my medication. 😒 A full one-quarter of my current existence on this planet, already set aside for fuckery and feeling physically and mentally miserable. 😣 So, starting this month, I’m gonna have to start rationing – so that way when there are extended delays in getting stuff approved, I won’t be going completely without and feeling the affect of that accordingly.
I don’t even have the energy to get into it. 😔 I’m just hoping that it doesn’t mean that I lost my court hearing weeks ago. 🤷🏻♂️ I still haven’t gotten any paperwork on it, but I’m guessing the magistrate is probably close to making a ruling if he hasn’t already. But yeah, when I’m already having a hard time functioning like a human, knowing that I’ll lose a week each month like this certainly doesn’t help matters.
But anyway… in an attempt to not think about that for a while tonight, I put my phone on airplane mode and set up a short time-lapse shot. I think the elapsed time was actually about two hours, but it plays out in a minute or so. I used an ISO of about 1200, an exposure of 1/3 of a second, with digital light trail enhancement of 3 seconds. 🤓 I’m actually fairly pleased with the result, although I’ve already thought of what adjustments I need to make next time so there’s less grain, brighter stars, and longer light trails.
So yeah… this is just another thing I have to adjust for, the same way that I need to adjust the amount of shit that I do when I’m feeling good – since I know that too much moving around will screw me up. 😐 Meh… it’s almost too hard to explain how complicated it actually is – the stuff that I can actually somewhat control – so when stuff that I can’tcontrol gets added on top of it… yeah, things start to get bad bad. I’ll figure it out. Eventually. But hey, that video is kinda neat, no? 🙂
(I might try to capture the movement of just the stars next time we have a new moon.)
It’s crazy to think that I’m going to be 45 years old tomorrow. 😐 It just doesn’t seem possible… that I’m… old. 😏 Thankfully, I very rarely feel my age… and even when I do, it’s usually because of my old work injury and the effects that I still feel each day because of it and the surgery. And as the fates would have it, right now it’s particularly bad – because I haven’t been able to get my medication refilled for three days now (due to mysterious insurance processing delays) and the withdrawal symptoms from Lyrica and Skelaxin are no joke. 😟
They aren’t even new prescriptions. I just need refills. Refills for meds that I’ve taken regularly for the better part of a decade. And while I won’t say that the two are related, it is curious to me that when I’ve got a court case pending and settlement talks ongoing… that’s when I’m suddenly forced to go “cold turkey” and suffer due to delays in processing the payment by the insurer. 😒 I’ll probably have to go in tomorrow and pay out of pocket (and hope for a refund eventually) in order to not feel like I’m dying. 🤦🏻♂️ Trying to conceal my anger has been challenging. I just keep telling myself that it’ll get taken care of, because eventually it always does.
Bear with me… just a bit more complaining…
It’s just a helpless feeling to know that due to delays, clerical errors, product shortages, tactical fuckery, or whatever it is… to know that each time that my medication is due to be refilled, that it simply might not happen… and then while suffering from the understandable withdrawals, having to gather the motivation and energy to fight and figure out what to do to get those meds… ugh… it’s a fucking nightmare.
It doesn’t help that I’m slowly but consistently getting worse. Like I told my doctor, the pain and disability that I have right now… several years ago I would have been complaining loudly about it at each visit, but I’ve learned to live with it – that it’s just going to be there, and that’s that. But it shouldn’t be like that. 😠 So at my most recent appointment we decided that I should go in for another MRI to find out why I’m getting random pops and seizing of my neck when I’m less active now than I’ve ever been in my life. I can’t stop fighting to feel better, as frustrating as the workers comp process is. 😓
I should find out soon if they’ll allow me the test or if I’ll have to fight for that too…
This kinda shows how glitched my brain has been recently. It was probably a couple of months ago that I ordered one of those DNA-based ancestry kits, to discover where my relatives are allegedly from. (I ordered one after seeing Genesee’s results.) I got it in the mail right away, but since then I’ve basically been staring at it every day – for some reason unable to make myself get online, register the kit, register an ancestry account, and then collect my spit to be sent back into them. 😟 It’s not like I even have to worry about stamps or going to the post office or anything, since the kit comes with a self-address stamped box for mailing it back.
But tonight when I looked at it, I had just the right amount of oomph to fuss with it, so now I’m registered and ready to go. All I have to do is not eat, drink, or smoke for a half hour before filling my vial – so this’ll likely happen right before I feel myself falling asleep… whenever that will be. 😏 I’ve gotta be in town tomorrow for a couple of things, so I’ll deposit it in the outgoing mail at the post office drive-thru and then 6-to-8 weeks later I shall have my results.