You Don’t Wanna Know

Not sure if we’ll have a White Christmas this year… they feel like they’ve been pretty rare, but I could be wrong… but we did get our first good snow of the season over the past couple of days. ๐ŸŒจ๏ธโ˜ƒ๏ธ๐ŸŒจ๏ธ The garage got finished just in time, or my car would have been sitting out there getting covered. Snow the first day, freezing drizzle on the second. I didn’t know it was coming, so it was a pretty thing to just wake up to.

I was actually planning on going to Walmart to schedule that eye appointment and grab a new pair of boots and some numbers for my new mailbox… but it wasn’t the weather that stopped me. ๐Ÿ˜ณ It was the new medication that I got at my recent doctor appointment. The one that I had been taking to keep the shoulder tremors at bay… it hadn’t been working as well as it once was, so my doctor suggested an alternate that we could try and I agreed – but I’m about ready to throw in the towel.

I’ve never had a medication so instantly and effectively clog me up. ๐Ÿ˜“ I know, TMI, but yeah… ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ and this is taking only one at bedtime – and I’m supposed to slowly ramp up to where I’m taking three of them each night. ๐Ÿ˜ง Umm… no thanks. I’m 90% sure that I’m not going to take any more of them at all after tonight. But I did want to give it a fair chance. I’m a little nervous that I’m gonna end up dealing with a more-shaky-than-usual arm until I get this sorted, but that’s better than feeling how I’ve felt the past several days.

It’s been about a week, so I’m gonna give the office a call tomorrow and see what he wants to do. I imagine he’ll just call in a script for the most recent med, even though it wasn’t perfect, because it sure didn’t have any unpleasant side effects like this one. This is just how it goes though… gotta work around what WC is willing to pay for, what sorta works, what might work better, etc… basically trial and error. And it’s not great timing, with a hearing eventually coming up, because I need to know which meds I need to fight for. ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ Sounds like a good opportunity to try and get my Lyrica back. Tried and true.

Maven can tell I’m not feeling well though… heh… poor kitty. ๐Ÿ˜ฟ I mean, she tends to always want to be around me anyway – but when I’m just lying around because of how crappy I feel (no pun intended) I feel kinda bad for her, ‘cuz I’m her only real source of entertainment if she wants to play or fight or whatever… and boy am I not very entertaining right now. I’m sure it’ll pass though… (and yes, pun intended there… heh)

Seeing Some Happy

Wasn’t feeling great when I woke up this morning, before friggin’ dawn, but throughout the day things got progressively better. It helped that early in the day I got some good news from one of my friends… where upon opening her mail she learned that she regained full custody of her son. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜Š This is definitely one of those “not my story to tell” things, since it’s pretty personal, but yeah… it was nice to see that the system finally did its job and justice was served.

As unfair as many of the past instances with the court have seemed, I don’t think anyone expected that favorable of an outcome. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ She deserves that outcome, so don’t get me wrong, but after so long you start to doubt that the system is capable of doing what’s right. So it’s gonna be a busy and exciting weekend for them… ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ such a big change, almost out of the blue, but he’s already super happy – so it’s just a matter of getting all the logistical stuff ironed out and them getting used to the new “new.” ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m really excited and happy for the both of them. This is how it should be.

Then later in the evening Rick came over to work on my busted garage door. One of the springs broke quite a while ago, but with the various other stuff I’ve been dealing with – honestly it wasn’t that high on the priority list, so today just ended up being the first convenient time for him to mess with it. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ He makes it all look so easy… especially to someone with a left arm that’s basically worthless when it comes to any kind of manual labor. ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜ Didn’t take him long to get new 2x4s up where they’re needed and the new springs installed.

(There was more to it than that, w/ the cables, guides, track aligning, roller adjustments, etc… but yeah…)

The only glitch (for the moment) is that he wasn’t able to find any springs locally that match the ones that were originally on it. ๐Ÿ˜• These days, garage doors are made of super light material… but my garage door, a “two-car garage” garage door… is made of thick wood and weighs too effing much. ๐Ÿ˜„ So despite buying the strongest springs available, the old 1/3 HP garage door opener just wasn’t having it. It can lower the door, but to raise it again it requires someone giving the door a manual boost for the first part of the raising cycle.

But his suggestion sounds good to me. New garage door opener. The one that’s installed now is probably at least half as old as I am, and wasn’t really meant to handle a door as big and heavy as this one even when it was new. So I’m gonna look for a more powerful replacement over the weekend, and between that and the new springs – we’re pretty certain everything will work as it should again. ๐Ÿง๐Ÿคž๐Ÿป And like many things in this house, it was probably past-due for replacement anyway, so I’m all for this solution.

Talking with him while he worked… there’s not much he hasn’t done when it comes to building, remodeling, installing roofs, electrical work, deck builds, garage doors, well installations, etc. You name it, he’s probably done it. In fact he just recently quit his job at Lowe’s to completely go into business for himself. ๐Ÿ˜ฏย That takes some balls, but he knows the right people… not only to have continuous jobs lined up, but also having a good group of folks that he can pull into those jobs depending on the needs or specialties.

Plus, Amy will be able to work from home, helping with the behind the scenes stuff like scheduling, accounting, and much of the other You have to do this now.” legal / payroll / insurance / etc type business stuff. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ผ๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ–จ๏ธ Really hoping this works out for them, ‘cuz it’s gotta be a pretty good feeling to work when you want, where you want, on what you want, while having only yourself and your clients to answer to. ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

Thursday Mission

Woke up stupid early yesterday so I could help out a friend. She’s been in an ongoing custody “disagreement” with her former SO for quite a while now, where they’ve each been representing themselves in court due to how expensive an attorney can be. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ And without having a lawyer on her side, while things have been going in her favor, it’s just happening so slowly. With another hearing coming up in about a month and a half, she knew she had to start doing something differently, so I looked up a few places that claim to offer pro bono representation for people who otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford it.

She’s got an aversion to talking on the phone, just like me, but on Wednesday I encouraged her to start making some calls… and by that afternoon she had spoken with someone at SEOLSย who seemed open to the idea of taking her case, or at least hearing her out and looking at all of the information to figure out the best way for her to proceed. ๐Ÿ™‚ So that evening I printed out all of her case information to date, a ton of things meant to show that she’s the “more ideal” parent, and got it all sorted and organized in a way that would make it easy for an attorney to look through. ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿ“’

So then yesterday morning I picked her up to take her to the closest SEOLS office serving Fairfield County, which is unfortunately way down in Chillicothe. ๐Ÿ˜’ I left the house around 9:30a, and by time I got back home it was after 3p. That’s a long friggin’ time (for me) to be out and about, working on a stressful project… even though, obviously, she’s the one bearing the most amount of that stress. I just really want things to go well for her, and being familiar with the frustration of facing hearings with unknown outcomes, the empath in me kicked in and I couldn’t help but feel many of the things she was feeling. ๐Ÿ˜•

I didn’t go in with her when she actually met with the attorney, but she said things seemed to go well and that it felt more positive than negative. He made copies of all of the information that he needed and said that he wanted to talk to some folks who specialize more in custody cases on Monday… so while things sounds good, she’s still gotta wait a few more days before she’ll know for sure if they will provide someone to represent her. It was worth the trip regardless, because at the very least they’ll be able to hold her hand through what she should do next, even if they end up not being able to actually be with her on the day of her hearing. I’m gonna stay hopeful though, because having an attorney could make all the difference.

But I was wiped out by time I got home. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ I’ve done very little “out of the house all day” stuff lately, and especially for something that’s as “high stakes” as this. And of course helping her with her legal stuff kept my legal stuff in the back of my mind… the upcoming WC stuff, that is… and starting off the day so early, with my shoulder already bugging me, all of the time in the car didn’t help. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ But it was a small sacrifice to help her with something that could end up being a game-changer in the long run, and I knew that I’d have all day today to recover if I needed to.

Well, my body didn’t wanna wait until today. ๐Ÿ˜ Shortly after getting home I knew I wanted to take a short nap, but also not screw up my sleep schedule. But my nap lasted until the evening, and when I did wake up I went ahead and took my evening meds and thankfully ended up falling back to sleep – not waking again until a little after 6a today. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ƒ So I’m just now starting to catch up from messages from all day yesterday, but I’m gonna wait a while to reply so I’m not waking people up as early as it is.

I’ve still got a friend or two that gets concerned if I don’t reply in an undefined amount of time. That’s thoughtful of them, but boy I wish that folks in general would consider that even the most nerdy of humans don’t necessarily get online every day, or multiple times a day… and that sometimes whatever is going on during a particular day might cause messages to be ignored until the next. ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ Yesterday’s situation was based on necessity, but I still do wanna try to take “days off” from the digital world every now and then… a luxury that younger people these days probably don’t really have. Imagine taking a teenager from today and transplanting them to 1985, during summer break from school, living out in the country, with only a landline telephone as means of keeping in touch with friends. ๐Ÿ˜…

Heh… another “old fart” thing to add to the growing library of “old fart things” in my head. ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป

You Got Your Hulu In My Spotify

I’ve been reading about how we’ve already passed the “heyday” of video streaming. It makes sense… because back when it started catching on you really only needed Netflix and you’d have pretty much everything you wanted. But now, each company that licenses (or used to license) content to Netflix – now they wanna keep that content and start their own streaming service. So now you have Netflix, Hulu, CBS All Access, Disney Plus coming soon… basically any corporation that has its own content, they want it on their platform instead of someone else’s – so to end up having access to everything you want, soon you’ll need to subscribe to four or five of these things at 10 to 15 bucks a pop. Not ideal, and not likely to get better anytime soon.

I only bring it up today because I realized that by having a subscription to Spotify for my music, it also has the option of activating an ad-supported version of Hulu to go along with it for free. I suppose Hulu has nothing to lose, since they still get to play commercials, and if anything it may entice people into paying for the ad-free tier. Not me, most likely, but I did go ahead and set Hulu up today to see what the free version is like. I ditched my $50 YouTube TV a few weeks ago, which makes paying a little more than ten bucks for all the music I can listen to, and some sort of half-way decent TV/movie streaming, seem like quite the deal. Check into it if you’re already a Spotify subscriber.

Hurt, Heal, Push, Hurt, Heal, Push…

Yesterday evening ended up being bad. Normally you do some sort of physical activity, it’ll work up your muscles a bit, then as the day and night progresses – the pain or stiffness gradually goes away. Not last night. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿ˜  I left PT feeling awful and it continued to get worse all the way until I somehow fell asleep despite it. And even today, as soon as I effing woke up – neck is stiff, head and eyeballs are pounding with a headache still… heh… I really wasn’t anticipating it being this bad, considering the relatively limited movement that I allowed my bad arm and shoulder yesterday. ๐Ÿ˜’ Even being actively aware of and discussing it as I was going through exercises with the physical therapist, I still allowed myself to get this effed up. ๐Ÿคฌ

I got wrapped up in that “authority figure” syndrome thing. ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€โš•๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿซ๐Ÿ‘ฎ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€โš–๏ธ Where you’re talking to a cop or doctor or teacher or whatever… and because you see them as an authority figure, you’re more likely to just do what they say, or give their words more weight than compared to a “normal” person. ๐Ÿ™„ I wanted to do the exercises that they have determined should help me, and in “trying to do my best” (like always) I really messed myself up. ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ But anyway – I’ve already decided that I’m barely going to do any of that shit during the next visit – or at home, where I’m also supposed to continue the exercises.

I’m not gonna give up on trying to get my back to heal properly and train it for a little more endurance, but I’m not gonna be able to do it the way a completely functional human would. ๐Ÿค• Tomorrow is supposed to be my last appointment with them anyway, so it’ll be up to me to make the choices about how I’m gonna keep things moving in the right direction. Heh… I can’t explain how angry this pain makes me… it’s a combination of the actual pain, the resentment regarding the original injury that has made me this fragile, feeling like “taking the initiative” to push myself to heal just results in punishment, spending every other day hurting and recovering… meh… I’m just gonna basically drop the extensive PT and do what I can, because prior to this I was actually healing and feeling pretty good.

It’s just one of those days where as soon as I woke up I was already done with this day. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ Gonna try to make this headache go away and hopefully do something that can flip my mood. Apologies to anyone who has messaged me or sent e-mails and haven’t gotten a reply yet. I’m gonna try to get at all that before the afternoon is over. It’s hard to put on “happy, socializing face” when I’m feeling like this…

And I’m gonna find something positive to post about later too. Tired of being miserable.

Be Flat

I tried to get moving today but it just didn’t happen. When I woke up and started working on information for appointments and doctor stuff or whatever… I realized that this Wednesday, when I intended to go to the walk-in clinic, I’ve actually already got my monthly appointment with my neck doctor. ๐Ÿ˜’ And it can’t be missed.

So after my regular visit, I’ll then have to make my way across town, an hour later than everyone else has already gotten there to the walk-in clinic… so I’m probably gonna be sitting there for hours, if I’m able to be seen at all. ๐Ÿ˜‘ I think if that all fails, I’ll probably have to go to urgent care and (first) ask nicely for the tests I need, and if that doesn’t work (second) I’ll make it very clear that someone needs to order the tests that I need.

So rather than lie around like a blob today, I dragged the big-ass keyboard out of the extra bedroom and tried to teach myself a couple of new songs. Both of them feature chords, one of them with four-finger chords… heh… I don’t know what the actual term is. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ Nor do I know what a “B flat chord” is by just reading it. It’s all effing trial and error… but at least I eventually manage to bang out something that sounds close to what I’m trying to emulate.

Interestingly, I notice that I rarely use my middle fingers to hit any keys… which I’m sure isn’t how it is supposed to be done. ๐Ÿ˜ณ And my left hand is just stupid in general, and almost always refuses to do what I want it to – so I end up sticking with “banged out” chords without anything much fancier.

And because each of these songs push my brain and fingers a little further than they’re actually able to go, I can guarantee that I won’t remember how to play either of these songs in a few days. And one of them is just a teeny part of a song. But I like when I can do something that makes it almost sound like I know what I’m doing, and those are two examples. ๐Ÿ™‚