Disappointed, But It’s Alright

Made it through most of the day without thinking about it, but tonight was the night that Skillet performed at Express Live in Columbus. 😟 Indoor show, general admission, standing room only. 😬 It’s those last two bits that got me. (I hate to admit it…) But I made the right choice by not going. Today hasn’t been a great day when it comes to my neck bothering me. Standing, getting bumped around by an appropriately enthusiastic crowd, for a few hoursΒ (Alter Bridge was performing as well) just wouldn’t have worked. πŸ˜•

(But I also know that I’d feel even more disappointed if I made an attemptΒ to go – and then ended up having to leave before the concert was even over because of my oush. πŸ˜πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Sigh… it is what it is.)

Finding the positives… πŸ€”Β Okay… I’ve seen Skillet plenty of times, and there’s always the possibility of seeing them again at the right time and right venue, so it’s not like I missed out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And the show? They’re touring on their newest album, and don’t tell anybody… 🀫 but this album isn’t exactly one of my favorites. And if I don’t count “missed the Skillet concert” then I’ve otherwise had an okay day.

Genesee and Sarah upgraded their security system, so a couple of weeks ago she sent me an extra camera that works with my home security setup, and today I found a place for it and added it to the network. πŸ“ΉΒ So I now have five active security cameras keeping an eye on my house. 😏 A house with hardly any visitors, and even fewer “suspicious” people coming anywhere close to stepping onto my property. It’s the same theory as having the dashcam in my car. Having video cameras installed somewhere almost magically prevents anything worth capturing on video from happening, and that’s a good (yet boring) thing.Β πŸ€“ Touch wood. 🀞🏻

But I kept today low-key, much like yesterday. I did start watching more of the political news coverage… and woo boy… πŸ˜―πŸ˜…Β Whether you believe that the fuss is all justified, or you believe that it’s a witch hunt that’s wasting the government’s time, energy, and money – stuff is sure heating up quickly. πŸ”₯🍊πŸ”₯Β It makes you wonder how any normal, functional, useful “government-ing” gets done. But I think my DVR also caught today’s NASCAR qualifying for me, so after O’Donnell I’ll click over and see how that went. πŸπŸš—πŸš•πŸš™πŸ’¨

I’m not even sure what track they’re at this week. πŸ˜πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈΒ (… said the formerly enthusiastic fan of the sport.)

Medically Deferred Deportation?

I’m gonna try to do a mental reset tomorrow, and get all this workers comp stuff out of my head until a hearing is scheduled and things are closer to being in motion in that regard. I did what I needed to do in so far as writing a response to claims in the report, so I can’t let the frustration and annoyance linger when there’s nothing else that I can do.

Plus I’m watching Rachel Maddow right now, and she’s covering the topic of people who are in the United States who have been receiving some sort of deferred deportation due to medical conditions that they have, for which they are receiving treatment within the United States. Apparently there are still plans in place which will remove that protection from at least some of the people who are getting life-saving treatment here. Treatment that they wouldn’t be able to get if they were sent out of the country… so that helps to put my problems into context.

Yeah, all of the stuff I’m going through is a giant pain in the ass, and there are significant implications to my future medical care that will be decided based on these current reports I’ve been talking about… and yeah, it’s really working my anxiety. But it’s nothing like what those people are facing. I can’t even imagine being previously allowed to stay in the country because you’re getting life-saving treatment, only to be told that nope – you have to leave the country within the next 30 days, which essentially sentences some of those people to death. It must be nearly impossible to process that news.

So yeah, what I’m dealing with feels unfair, unjust, and uncalled for… and I know how awful just that makes me feel – but man, how does your mind react when you find out that the country is kicking you out, and sorry about your luck when it comes to your medical treatment. Ugh…

And this isn’t even meant to be a political post. I don’t know how these “medically deferred deportation” people got here… whether they have visas, whether they were brought illegally as kids, whether they were originally granted entrance because they were seeking medical care and the administration changed its mind… because it kind of doesn’t matter. What matters is one moment they’re legally allowed to be here and get their treatment, and the next moment someone has decided that that particular program is no longer going to be allowed, at least in some circumstances, and they just have to go.

When you’re upset about your own shit, sometimes you forget how bad other people’s shit can be. πŸ˜•

Weaponized Stupidity / Willful Ignorance

At the Donald Trump rally earlier this evening, the President was even more of a nutjob than usual… and in a way where I can’t even figure out what his goal actually was. With only two days left until the election, he decided that tonight was the right time to start making fun of and antagonizing Antifa, the often-violent left-wing group of protesters. Of all things, he made fun of them for having little arms – not big ones – and saying that that’s why they have to use clubs.

Yes, the President of The United States… taking a situation where plenty of people have been violently attacked by Antifa, and turning it into some kind of joke about how puny their arms are, and that their weakness requires them to use clubs. In the same breath he then asked where the police were, where the border patrol was, where ICE was, and where his “Bikers for Trump” were. So, if I’m following…

He made fun of a group of angry left-wing people who are known to attack people with opposing views, doing so in a way that will only make them even more angry, and then made it clear that he was concerned at the lack of law enforcement to do anything about it. He even seemed confused. But who exactly was that message for? And what was he trying to say? Because to me it sounds like he emboldened Antifa, who now know they can club whoever they want – because even the President doesn’t know where the law enforcement is that could do something about it.

If that message is meant to concern anyone, I’d think it would be his own base as they go out to the polls on Tuesday. He’ll take care of making Antifa angry, so they’ll attack even more people, and don’t count on the cops to save you. If I’m wrong and someone can explain it to me, please do.

After that he told the crowd that if Stacey Abrams gets elected, the 2nd amendment will be gone. He repeated that claim. He even said that her people will knock on doors, demanding that your guns be handed over. He also said she would turn her district into Venezuela. He also lied about being on Oprah Winfrey’s program during its last week on the air, because that week featured the five most important people. He said she’s burning the tapes so that nobody knows about it. He said that Democrats will raid Medicare and give the money to illegal immigrants. He then said that Elizabeth Warren couldn’t deal with leaders of other countries due to her DNA test. He boasted about creating the Veterans Choice program, which was actually signed into law on Obama’s watch. He said when he meets with “kings and queens” they come into the Oval Office and congratulate him on the job he’s done with the economy. He says that Democrats are encouraging “caravan after caravan” to invade our country. He says Dems want to take away people’s health insurance, that only the GOP will protect people with pre-existing conditions, and that under Dems, benefits will go to illegals instead.

It just goes on and on… completely fucking insane, or full of shit, or both. And sadly, you can tell that most of the idiots in the crowd believe most, if not all, of what he’s saying. And yeah, he technically didn’t get the popular vote, but still… if we had enough people that were stupid enough to believe this man’s lies and give him their votes, then we deserve what we’ve gotten. I just hope his hardcore follower base is dwindling, and this bizarro world President we see at these rallies, with Jim Bob and Sally Sue Jackhole laughing, cheering him on, and waiting for a free t-shirt to be thrown their way… let’s pray that they’re the exception to the rule after two years of Trump in office.

(*No edits, no bold, no italics, no emojis… just wanted to barf this all out and publish it.)

Other Shit

New Year’s Eve was a big ol’ meh. I can’t even remember my exact mood that day, but I could make a pretty good guess. 😏 Luckily I saw a post on Twitter that said if you started watching “Doctor Who – The End of Time: Part II” at 10:54pm, at exactly midnight it would be at the part where The Doctor visits Cardiff and Rose spots him and wishes him a Happy New Year. It’s just a nice moment – because he’s already traveled with her extensively, and he’s actually dying now, but in this particular moment he has gone back to before they had met – so she didn’t even realize who he was yet. 😒😊 I dunno, you have to be a fan of the show I guess. πŸ€“ But I barely remember it working out just right, she said “Happy New Year!” right at midnight, then *ploop* I was out.

As for a potential “Doctor Visit #2” regarding the “Oh, hey, there’s something on your thyroid.” noted by the technician that ran the MRI for my spine… I’m really not sure what I’m going to do about that yet, if anything. 😐 It doesn’t help that I just watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy where a couple of the characters were referring to a family member who had cancer on her thyroid without even knowing it, and died soon after it was detected. πŸ˜• Thinking about that… I dunno, if I really start feeling some sort of effects from whatever it is then I might go see what’s up, but if it’s something bad bad already – I’m not sure I’m interested in finding that out. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

Foolish? Probably… but only for someone who isn’t prepared for what “not knowing” could bring next. Meh… I’m still discussing it with friends. It’s hard to say “It’s okay, I’m kinda ready to check out anyway…” without people getting all concerned and up in your business. πŸ˜… But anyway…

It’s still effing frigid here in Ohio. 😬 Waking up to five degrees, or one degree… with the house cracking and popping from enduring the constant sub-freezing temperatures… yeah, this shit is for the birds. 😰 Today, just a couple of miles from home, while trying to thaw their work truck – some poor folks managed to explode the building they were working in… and the sound, even from that far away, jolted me awake by shaking the house. 😨 I honestly looked outside to see if a car had skidded into the house or something, even though the house is like 80′ from the road.

Hopefully now that the holidays are over I’ll start feeling a little more normal, relatively speaking. It’s not that I don’t like Christmas and New Year’s… there’s just a lot of emotions wrapped up in the memories right now, so getting back to boring old crappy “regular” time again is comforting. ☺ I finished shaving the cat, got the living room all vacuumed and straightened up, so I’m gonna slowly build on that progress. In what fashion, I’m not quite sure yet… but just moving forward instead of being frozen here would be an improvement. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

And on Twitter I’ve unfollowed any accounts related to politics and news. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I did it once before but couldn’t make it stick, because it’s in my nature to stay informed… but Donald Trump is a fucking moron, and I can’t keep clicking open that app each day to see him comparing “nuke button” sizes with Kim Jong-un and planning “Presidential Fake News Awards” and other equally insane bullshit. πŸ™‡πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ People say he’s just trolling the world, that he’s pointing out errors that journalists have made… which is fine… but he’s still a fucking moron, is ridiculously unqualified to be President, and is making the United States a laughing stock and much more hated than we’ve been in a long time. 😣 And my watching it on Twitter isn’t gonna make a lick of difference one way or another… so I’m gonna try to shield myself from the stupid and stupid’s followers.

The Pot vs. Sins of the Kettle

It’s surreal what we’re getting to see from our government these days, and specifically from our President. Donald Trump, who has been caught on tape bragging about how he can (and does) sexually assault women, how he can’t even control himself or stop himself from doing it… the same man who has at least SIXTEEN different women who have accused him of sexual assault of one kind or another… again, this man is President of The United States… but there he is on Twitter, trolling Al Franken for taking an inappropriate photo with an allegedly sleeping woman – and giving him shit for lecturing other people on not being the type of person who sexually assaults someone.

I know, that’s a little hard to follow… but yeah, Donald Trump, proud sexual predator, focus of a dozen+ sexual assault claims including the alleged rape of a 13 y/o girl and the rape of his own wife – he’s lecturing another man accused of sexual assault, for lecturing others on sexual assault. I’m not joking when I say that this is legitimately making my brain hurt and my eye twitch.

I don’t know if Donald Trump forgets that he’s on tape bragging about how he grabs at women’s vaginas without consent, or if he remembers but just doesn’t care… but whatever is going on in that man’s head, there’s no doubt that he has some serious psychological problems. Perhaps he knows that some new information is coming down the pipe tomorrow, maybe regarding his son-in-law who was once again caught withholding Russian communications from the Senate – or perhaps it will be about his biological son, who was recently caught having secret communications with Wikileaks for months despite everyone in the administration denying it. And let’s not forget about Jeff Sessions and the perjury charges that he could be facing for the many lies that he has told congress.

Because if he didn’t tweet what he did in order to distract from any or all of those topics – then the man is simply psychologically damaged, because all that this is going to do is bring all of the negative attention back on himΒ  – along with reminding the world about all of the women who have made accusations against him. Oh… and it took him less than a day to tweet something inflammatory about (Democrat) Al Franken, when it has been more than a week since theΒ (Republican) Roy Moore scandal came to light, which (instead of just being about a tasteless photo) includes allegations that Moore sexually assaulted a minor, otherwise known as child molestation. But of course Trump hasn’t said a word about that, and being the coward that he is – he wouldn’t say anything about Franken in front of reporters, but instead waited until he was back at home, sitting on the toilet, with his dick in one hand and his phone in the other. (How’s that for some mental imagery?)

Good lord… this is what we are now. This is what the world sees when they look to America as an example of how people and countries should be. It’s fucking disgraceful, and has me going from being completely speechless – to where all I want to do is rant about it, because it’s disgusting, shameful, and it makes me sad that kids growing up these days will think of this as the normal way that people in government function.

I’m honestly getting sick to my stomach as I type this… but this is our inescapable reality.

An Awful Human Being

Over the past many months we’ve all become somewhat numb to the (insert negative adjective) things that come out of Donald Trump’s damaged old brain, but it’s like he has a superpower… the power to blurt out or do something even worseΒ than the week before, which shocks, saddens, and angers the majority of the people in the USA and world despite the understandable Trump fatigue. 😞

Like a majority of the voters in the last election, I was one of theΒ 65,844,610 people who knew ahead of time what we were going to get if he got elected. But even with all of the expected (and unexpected) awfulness that has come from him so far (whether through intention, indifference, or ignorance), waking up today and seeing what he’s tweeted… how can anyone not see him as anything but a horrible, irredeemable waste of flesh after today?

Through his own admission, which oddly sounded like boasting, Trump has accurately described the devastation to Puerto Rico from the recent hurricane. He’s talked about the destruction in a way where you can tell he doesn’t even really think it’s worth or able to be repaired or rebuilt, while (for some reason) talking about the billions and billions of dollars of debt the island has. πŸ€”πŸ˜§ So, the scale of the tragedy is not in question, even by him.

Any news channel that you turn to, you see the nightmare. No power grid, hospitals unable to help or relying on generators with little fuel, food and water shortages, gas shortage, no AC, etc… you can obviously go on and on. The federal government has a lot of resources and people in place, and they’re doing what they can, but the mayor of San Juan has literally been begging for more help any time she’s been given the chance… because that’s what you do when you don’t want people to die.

But Donald Trump woke up in an apparent rage about it, and decided to attack her on Twitter. Claiming the problem isn’t a lack of resources or logistics to get it to the people, but because of her poor leadership abilities. 😐 But he didn’t stop with just attacking her. πŸ˜‘ He praised his part of the response, the federal first responders, but then berated the people of Puerto Rico who are suffering – saying that they weren’t willing to help with the work, and that they wanted everything to be done for them. 😧

He continued to whine the she was “nasty” to him, which he said “the democrats” had told her to do, and then did his normal “fake news” complaints, apparently trying to make people believe that we aren’t seeing all of the things that we are seeing on all of the news programs. This is a sick, sick man. No joke. Sick. He’s tweeting these things from the comfort of his luxury golf club, while the mayor of San Juan has literally been walking through sewage-filled flood waters as they continue to look for stranded people.

The federal response was slow rolling out, he barely had anything to say about the hurricane damage for days after it hit, and once he did start talking about it – it wasn’t in the same “come together” way that he spoke about Texas and Florida. You could feel it… it was more like “Wait, they’re Americans? Fuck. I guess I won’t be able to get out of fixing up this third-world island for all of these poor brown people.”Β  He keeps bringing up their debt, he keeps talking about passports and visas for some reason… like he almost thinks they’re going to become undocumented immigrants or something. πŸ€” Everything about his response has been disgusting.

An island with over 3 million people living on it has been nearly destroyed. People have died… people are still dying… and “our President” attacks them, their leaders, and pretty much everything about who they are. 😣 Oh, and he wants it both ways. On one hand he wants everyone to think that the roll-out of disaster relief is going perfectly, and what we’re seeing on the news is all fake somehow… but on the other hand he’s admitting that the situation is a giant clusterfuck, by trying to put the blame on the leadership in San Juan and the unwillingness of their people to work or help themselves. I wish I had more eloquent words, but it’s just fucking astounding. πŸ˜” I didn’t think I could have less respect for that man, but boy was I wrong.

What’s Wrong

People have far too much access to each other. It’s not that the access is bad, it’s that people don’t know how to properly use such a feature of today’s life. I’ve never seen such a culture of “I’m miserable so I’m going to make everyone else miserable too.” as now. So many humans seem to exist only to be a bane to other humans.

The most recent bit of bullshit that I came across was when a local festival posted a graphic of a sign that essentially said that no animals were allowed on festival grounds unless they were a certified service animal for a disabled person. So of course some jackass had to get butthurt, complaining that people with diabetes can have service animals, but they aren’t disabled 😐 and therefore use of the word was offensive. πŸ˜‘

The festival quite politely pointed out that the graphic came from somewhere else, and they were simply wanting folks to know that any animals on the property must be service animals, because lots of folks these days try to take advantage of that allowance without a certification for their animals. The same asshole responds with “I don’t know what you mean by ‘these days‘” Oh my God d00d. Are you fucking kidding me? You’re not that dense that you don’t realize that the festival is saying that people try to “fake” service animals quite often these days. (Fact. I’ve seen it online and in person myself.)

But back to access to other humans. I can only speak about the window from which I view the world, and my window is different than it was ten years ago. I’m no longer working, I’m single… so I no longer have a lot of things that would normally take up a person’s time, so I can spend a lot of time online. Researching things that interest me, discussing things with people, debating things… generally a little bit of everything… but that also grants me a ton of time to notice and recognizeΒ all of the truly horrible people and things in the world. 😞

And this is cliche, but I do blame the Donald Trump presidency for some of it. He goes out in front of the world and acts like the blustering, politically-uneducated, loud mouthed, ignorant blow-hard that he is… and of course it subliminally encourages others, people like him, to do the same thing. 😣 So now there is a sea of truly ignorant people out there who will run their mouths about almost anything, yet only rarely know of what they’re speaking. Explain to them how wrong they are and it only makes their conviction (in their wrongness) that much stronger. It’s a bizarre and frightening thing to witness day after day after day.

Back when the world was normal, people who were unsure of something would get online to research and learn. But now people live in an echo chamber, where the ignorant people reinforce and invigorate the other ignorant people, so there’s eventually an army of these uninformed and/or misinformed morons. 🀦🏻 People who do know what they’re talking about… they’ll try to educate the moron army, but the moron army will have none of it. In fact, they’ll get mad. Mad that you’re trying to help them understand something that they clearly do not understand. πŸ˜’

And so it goes, every day on Twitter… on Facebook… on Reddit… one mass of people against another mass of people. The intelligent people don’t back down because they’re aware that they are right. The ignorant people won’t back down… well… because they’re ignorant. 😏 It’s frustrating to watch the ignorance grow, as these people spread their misinformation and sometimes blatantly made-up “facts” to the gullible. That’s a Trumpian thing to do – discredit good, factual information as being “fake” so you can replace it with whatever bullshit you wish were the facts.

Meh… those are just a few examples. Then you have fake people on Facebook, creating a bullshit image of what they want people to believe their life is like. They’ll call someone a friend one minute, then talk shit about them as soon as they leave the room. People who will see someone’s enthusiasm for something, and will then laugh or otherwise berate that person and their thing, simply because they don’t share that same enthusiasm.

Then there are the folks who couldn’t give two shits about anyone but themselves. Their entire motivation exists around their own gratification at whatever cost to those around them. Then there are the sad people who seem to require “likes” or “clicks” or whatever, as if that sort of thing validates their life and makes it “good enough” or maybe even better than someone else’s. 😒 “Oh look, she’s talking shit but she only has 72 followers. *laugh*” And then the things that a lot of people would look at and consider to be worth noticing, discussing, or debating… it’s like those things don’t exist to a huge segment of the population. 😧 Some things you want people to notice and be shocked or outraged, but the shock and outrage is always saved up for some bullshit like “Did you see that Microsoft included an emoji of a hand “flipping the bird” in their latest update? Can you believe it?”

Granted, again, I know that this is because of the window that I have, to observe the digital humans and actual humans, because of my own choices and otherwise… but I sit here and wonder why, of all the people I know, that I’m one of the very few who are concerned with what’s going on in our government? Steve Bannon said that their intention was to get into office and totally fuck things up (I’m paraphrasing) and boy is that what they’re doing. 😳 Many decades from now, our grandchildren are going to read about this time in their history books and wonder why more people didn’t say or do something.

Our President is an ignorant, narcissistic, bumbling man-child. He installs his daughter and son-in-law in top positions in the White House, despite them having equal political experience. (Meaning ZERO) Sebastian Gorka was a former Breitbart contributor with a penchant for racist hyperbole. Betsy DeVos was named Secretary of Education, despite having no experience in public schools, while lobbying for privatization. Dan Scavino is a conspiracy theorist who posts fake news, including allegations that Michelle Obama is actually a man. Scott Pruitt is a climate change denier who was named to head the EPA, despite suing the agency more than a dozen times previously. And then there’s Rick Perry, who heads the Department of Energy, while not even realizing what the department did until after he took the job. And Pruitt, he’s doing his best to eliminate transparency in the office, so much so that he’s already being legally challenged. Ugh… I could go on and on, because for nearly every Trump appointee there’s some “JFC” fact that goes along with them.

Whether by ignorance, inaction, or purposeful action – our government is literally filled with people who are doing a amazing job of destroying it from the inside, just like Bannon said they wanted. In their delusional bubble, I’m sure they think things are swell. Meanwhile, the more observant of us see that hardly anyone knows what’s going on, and the world sees that hardly anyone knows what’s going on… we’re losing even more respect, and it doesn’t help when our loud-mouthed President keeps making bizarre, almost dementia-tainted tweets and empty threats of war on Twitter. Oh, and did I mention that Trump hasn’t even nominated people for hundreds of vacant positions in his administration? Yeah… it would be nice if we had an Ambassador to South Korea, Qatar, Syria, Turkey, Yemen, etc. (Especially since we’ve already bombed Syria with dozens of missiles.)Β But rather than listing a bunch of other shocking holes in our government, just follow this link and see for yourself. People should be bothered by this.

But no. You used the word “disabled” when talking about service animals and not all people that need service animals are disabled and I find that offensive. It makes my fucking brain hurt sometimes, no lie. πŸ˜– And try to point out all of Trump’s documented failings and shortcomings to a Trump supporter… yeah… see how that works for ya. More than ever, the ignorant masses are digging in their heels and are simply not going to stand for any of these “so-called facts” anymore. What do you do with people like that? I mean, how do you communicate with them? Reason with them? It’s like this huge chunk of the population has chosen to remove itself from reality, so how is a thinking person supposed to process and deal with that – without getting so frustrated that they have to bust out ridiculously long, multi-paragraph blog posts in the middle of the damn night? 😏

But yeah, that’s part of “what’s wrong with me” right now…