So Much Fuss

This is difficult. I have to go to court in about a week, in regards to the workers comp stuff that I’ve been dealing with for over a decade now. πŸ˜’ I have access to a crapload of documents that are directly related to this case, as well as information from past cases that may provide precedents that could either help or hinder the arguments coming from my side. 😐 But in this instance, for this appearance, all of that information that I could start digging into… it wouldn’t really do me any good, and that’s what’s difficult. 😣 Telling myself to just “let it go” because the attorneys are gonna attorney.

This particular phase has been elevated, because rather than just being about me trying to get a medication or treatment approved – this case is actually about whether all of the “powers that be” have been playing by the rules. 😯 I don’t want to get into too much detail, so it’s hard to explain it, but that’s why my input isn’t going to be needed. Because it’s more about making sure that every “T” was crossed, every “I” was dotted, and every rule was interpreted and followed in a way that should meet the court’s approval. 😬 There really is quite a bit riding on this.

So I could memorize everyΒ related case that came before mine, I could write an impassioned speech that recounts the trials and tribulations of this frustrating process over the entire past decade… but none of it would matter, because none of it is required. πŸ˜• None of it would even be welcomed (at least as far as it seems to me) because this time it’s all about the proper administration of my claim. πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€βš–οΈ To be honest, I’m not even sure why I have to be there at all.

So yeah, I’m a bit anxious… one of those situations where the cards have already been dealt, but we have to wait a week to see who’s hand comes out on top. πŸ™‡πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ It’s really starting to look like this might happen, too. It’s been delayed a few times for various reasons on both sides, but with the information dump that has happened and the lack of anything promising in regards to a settlement, I think it’s actually gonna go down on the date as planned this time. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

Time to tighten my belts and keep my hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times.

(Did I mention that the trial date is two days after my cervical spine injection? πŸ’‰πŸ˜¨ Yay? πŸ˜…)

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Oh, You Need These?

Four straight days of talking to my doctor, talking to the pharmacy, going in to the pharmacy, them making calls… all trying to get my meds approved. The same meds that I’ve taken regularly for years. πŸ€” This is starting to smell.

I paid for one of the prescriptions with my own insurance today (the other isn’t covered, so I’m not sure what to do about that one yet) and had them print me out the refusal – along with two different numbers that I can call tomorrow to try and find out what the hell the problem is. 😠 I’ll start offΒ being nice, but if I can tell that I’m not going to get any results that way then I’ll be happy to adjust my attitude to reflect my frustration.

I’m also going to call and leave a message with my attorneys tonight, letting them know about this nonsense. And since there’s a court appearance coming up soon, I’m sure the judge will also find it interesting that all of the sudden I’m unable to get the medications that they’re legally required to provide for me. 🀨 I’m still hoping this is just an error, a coincidence… because I don’t wanna believe that somewhere, someone’s job is to just refuse to pay for meds that they technically can’t refuse to pay for. πŸ˜’

Paused

I’m trying to make myself write a new entry… trying to make myself do anything. Just having an extremely bad stretch of days here, with paralyzing depression – but without sadness. It’s weird. I’m not sitting here dwelling on any one specific thing, I’m just kind of existing… waiting for this latest blast of “meh” to pass. I mean, I’ve got some stuff to talk about, but right now I just can’t. (Which, I know, seems odd since I’m able to sit here and produce the words that you’re reading right now.) Wish me luck. Hopefully I’ll feel better later this evening. It’s the weekend… everybody feels good on the weekend, right? πŸ˜’