Over the past few days I’ve had 24/7 company here at the house. 😯 Genesee’s friend Tracie flew out to NJ for an extended visit with her, and then Gen provided the return trip home, depositing Tracie at her house and then starting her little break here in Ohio. I’m not sure it was really a break, now that I think about it, because she had plenty of people to see and lots of things to do. But yeah, for a few days I had her and Nesh here. 😏🐺💁🏻♀️
Of course it was impossible for me to adjust… wait… let me start by saying that I was totally glad that she was here, so I’m not bitching about that at all… but when I have trouble just existing by myself here, trying to maintain a sleep schedule that doesn’t have me feeling like death, of course it’s gonna be challenging having company in the house. 😬 But the way I looked at it, the benefit outweighed the complications, and I knew (hoped) that I’d be able to regenerate after they left anyway.
Maven wasn’t thrilled about having a horse in the house, so she generally just avoided us… but on the last day she came into the living room and sat next to me, knowing that I’d keep him away from her if he tried – as if she was thumbing her nose at him. 😏 She’s been up my butt ever since they left… heh… I mean, even more than usual.
With Genesee’s help I finally sorted away all of the boxes of memories from Mom and Dad’s apartment. They’ve been stacked in an extra bedroom for months… but having someone “in the loop” to look through the pictures, school stuff, baby stuff… it just made it so much easier to stay motivated. 😎 She was a big help in sorting out the “old old” photos into a box for Aunt Sharon to go through. Most aren’t labeled… photos of what would be my great aunts and uncles, third cousins, etc – people that really only Aunt Sharon will be able to identify / tell stories about. 👵🏻 I’ve already told her this is the plan, and she’s hoping to make a scrapbook for her kids so the family history doesn’t get somewhat lost as it goes down the generations.
Might as well bang out a quick blog entry since I can’t sleep. (It’s going on 5am now… yay) Yesterday was productive. Went to Logan again to check on some banking stuff, stopped by my attorney’s office to drop off more paperwork, and then I was finally able to close the account associated with the estate. All debts have been paid, checks for the final disbursement have cleared, and that’s about all she wrote.
All that’s left now is for Steve to gather the final receipts and a couple other things, then he can go ahead and handle the closing hearing for me here in a few weeks. Please please please I hope nothing goes wrong between now and then. 🙏 Heh… y’all have no idea how happy I am that this is finally wrapping up. Well, maybe you do… but yeah, it’s been a long time comin’.
That’s the important stuff from yesterday anyway. I might try to make another entry later today when I wake up… gonna try to start keeping the blog a little more balanced if I can. Serious stuff here, frivolous stuff there. Depressing stuff one day, as-happy-as-I-can-muster stuff the next. That sorta thing. Meh… it always sounds good in theory, but in all honesty my writing takes on a life of its own – and whatever comes out of me comes out of me. 🤷♂️
Okay, we’re approaching 24hrs awake, so I’m crossing my fingers and hitting the sack.
It’s utterly miserable outside today… and I’m so glad. 😏 I think I may have explained this before, but when I know that I’m not going to be able to leave the house (for whatever reason) I’d much rather it be gloomy and awful out than sunny and 70 degrees – because the day doesn’t seem nearly as wasted that way. The clouds are so dramatic looking that I considered doing some sort of time-lapse video, but it’s also been raining pretty heavily – and I can’t be arsed to get soaked just to make another time-lapse that looks like half-a-dozen of the other videos that I’ve made over the years.
But I just wanted to come back in here today to make a lighter post, to balance the somewhat heavy feel of the one that I made last night. (ie: even when everything is horrible, everything isn’t horrible.)
Even though this past week has been challenging, I did still complete some more work towards sorting through shit here in the house that can be sold via yard sale or auction or whatever. It’s hard to explain how an excess of inconsequential “stuff” can feel overwhelming at times, but it does. And it’s not just my own stuff that I’ve compiled over the years, but also all of the stuff that was already in this house when I moved in. 😐 But yeah, I filled up another big ol’ U-Haul moving box full of random goods, which felt like (and was) a nice small accomplishment.
Another non-bleh thing from the past few days was that I volunteered to watch the fur babies again for a couple of days while their house was being fogged for silverfish. 🙄 It is a 👏🏻 huge 👏🏻 friggin‘ 👏🏻 paininthe 👏🏻 ass – getting them here, housing them, and then getting them back home… heh… but as y’all know, I try to help out friends when I can, plus it was nice to see Dad’s kitties again. Lily is really starting to show her age, but she is soooo lovey when she sees me now. 😊 Maybe she knows that I’m responsible for her getting soft food while the others get dry.
And then this year’s county fair came and went this week. I can’t remember if I already mentioned it… but meh… it’s something where I could honestly take it or leave it right now. I know some of my friends went, and I’m sure that there’d be plenty of other people there that I’d know as well – but honestly I just didn’t have the oomph to deal with any of them. That sounds so awful, I know… but introverted people with anxiety issues are like “Dude. I know exactly what you mean.” I’m just bringing it up here because it makes the empath in me smile to see many of my normally-unhappy friends making happy posts from the fair on their FB walls and such.
Not feeling great today. My neck is fine, just feeling kinda woozy and bleh… for now I’m gonna blame the Whopper and fries that I had late last night. 🤢 I don’t have the furnace on yet, so I woke up to a chilly house – and then when I went in the living room and turned on the space heater, it made some sputtering and popping noises before the fans began to deliver cold air. 😒 I can’t complain though, because I got this thing cheap at the HFH Re-Store years ago, and I’ve gotten more than my money’s worth out of her.
I hopped on Amazon and found an oscillating ceramic heater for a decent price, so I should have that in a couple of days. I dunno, I’m one of those weird folks that would rather have a cold house and then heat only the area that I’m occupying, so even though it’s a new expense – it still helps me keep overall heating costs down, or at least that’s the story I’m going with. (Always needing to justify anything I buy for myself.)
Still debating how I’m going to spend the bulk of my day. I’d like to get a little bit more stuff done that I’ve been working on, but that’s gonna be based on how I end up feeling now. I was considering doing some work outside… I mean, my yard guys take care of the weed whacking and mowing, but there’s all kinds of other stuff that needs trimmed or tended to. That’s definitely going to wait now. I’m sure the neighbors are at the point though where they glance over and grimace 😑 so I do wanna get on that soon.
Get this. On Sunday, due to sitting around all day, thinking about everything that I had to do on Monday, I think I ended up making my brain give out early… heh… because I fell asleep around 9p and slept all the way through to 10a. Don’t get me wrong, I love when my body finally demands a reset and I get an actual good night of sleep, but it’s not often that my brain craps out before whatever “things” I have to do.
But thankfully I woke up today with my neck hurting much less, and I got through all of the phone calls that I needed to make without melting too much. I also got the living room straightened up and the bills done like I was hoping to do. That’s another thing I’m trying to change…
I have this bad habit of seeing the entirety of “Stuff I Have To Do” and “Stuff I Want To Do” rather than focusing on a smaller sliver of one or the other that I might be able to actually manage. So today I limited it to attorney BS, shopping BS, and living room BS. With the house here, even though there’s a near infinite amount of stuff that I could or should do, if I break it up by room or even smaller task, I think I’ll have a much better chance of making headway.
And then continuing to think about it in a different way than usual, I also have to remind myself that I don’t always have to be doing something productive, and that I don’t have to feel bad when I can’t devote time to people when I’m simply am unable to do it. I’m not sure why I always feel like my time should be spent in those ways, and then feeling shitty if I can’t quite do it… but I need to remember that doing nothing is okay too sometimes.
I only got about three hours of sleep this afternoon before my brain decided that it was time to wake up and “do something” unspecified. 😒 It’s the weekend though, so for the most part I’ve been able to avoid feeling obligated to be too productive… and instead I’ve just been sitting here with the laptop and the new Roku (free w/DirecTV Now sign-up) hooked to the living room TV, downloading a crapload of channels/apps.
The DirecTV Now service currently doesn’t have a DVR function. So that means that if I want to watch any specific show, I need to have my ass planted in front of the television at the time that the show is actually airing otherwise I’ll miss it. 😳 A novel concept, right? Watching a program when it’s scheduled to be broadcast… heh
But that’s also why I’m doing all of the channel/app acquisition that I’m doing right now… because many of these individual network channels for the Roku are loaded with “on demand” programs or shows that have just recently aired. Not quite as good as a DVR, since only certain networks offer Roku channels that work with the DirecTV Now subscriber information, but it’s an acceptable substitute – at least until they get the whole “cloud DVR” thing figured out and released to the masses.
Now I have to cross my fingers and hope that once I’ve selected and activated all of these channels on the main TV, that the TV in the bedroom will sync with that information and automatically download and install all of the same channels on its own.
Took care of quite a few things this week, but of course as usual – what happens now isn’t really anything that I can control. 😒 But as far as I know, and until I hear back from all the concerned attorneys, I believe I’ve done everything required for my aunt’s estate to be officially closed out and with the workers comp stuff… well, it’s just gonna do whatever it does. I’m basically a passenger again at this point.
Getting more done on those two fronts has given me a small boost in spirit. I’ve gotta be careful not to screw it up, but I’ve got some motivation now to start tackling the trimming of all the bushes around my house. Reminder, it’s not that it just requires motivation to wanna get out there and clip an obscene amount of bushes, it’s that it will probably hurt and the trimming of the top portion is actually physically impossible for me.
But my change in thinking about the process – I’m gonna trim all the vertical surfaces that I can, as I can, since there’s no rush or deadline… and then I’ve got Cassi coming to take care of the tops for me. (Or at least that’s the current plan.) So I’m feeling a little more upbeat just thanks to that. And yeah, I could vet and hire some d00ds to do it for me, but just having the feeling return to me, that I may actually be able to handle it myself (with help), makes it something that I’d rather try before shelling out even more money for landscaping tasks. It’s frustrating though, sitting in this house, looking out the picture window, and always being reminded of the things that the property needs that I can’t do. 😟 I gotta figure out what to do with that emotion.