Hands Off The Controls: Autopilot Has Been Engaged

I didn’t get to sleep until almost 6am this morning, and I had posted a somewhat moody blog entry about an hour before that… but I went ahead and deleted it when I woke up, deciding that I should wait until I had a little more sleep, time, and information under my belt before commenting on the stuff I was commenting on.

It was just really bad timing last night… first, forgetting to drag the trash buggy out to the road, so I ended up doing that around 3:00am. And of course since I was out there, I grabbed whatever was in the mailbox from the past couple of days. And the letter on top had to be from my WC attorneys, letting me know that my mandatory “independent” WC exam has been rescheduled. That was the appointment where I got up at dawn to drive to the NW side of Columbus, with my bum knee at the time, and they cancelled on me about five minutes away from their office. 🤨 Yeah, so that’s now rescheduled near the end of the July.

It had actually slipped my mind, since my brain has been in a state of constant anxiousness regarding my lengthy but (hopefully) final thyroid cancer treatment beginning. So with that and other other crappy stuff on my mind, having had to deal with the kitten situation yesterday, and then just not being able to sleep because of all of it – seeing that envelope pushed me past sad, mad, frustrated, nervous, or whatever… eventually to just numb. 😐 It’s happened before… I’ve simply “felt” to the point of no longer being able to feel. 🤷🏻‍♂️😕 And I don’t know… with the way I’ve been, numb is probably better.

I’ll let my attorneys know that the appointment is just days before I’m due to begin the radiation part of my treatment, so we’ll see if WC still demands that I show up – or if they’ll decide to wait until it’s over and I’m at what they’d consider my “normal” physical self. The latter would give a more accurate representation of how my disability and meds affect me, but who knows what they really want.

The last handful of entries should give you a good idea of where I’m at and where things are heading. I don’t know how much time I’m going to be spending online in the near future, and there’s a good chance that I’m going to be even more difficult to reach than usual. I apologize that I’m probably going to come off as more inconsiderate than typical… but I can’t really do anything for anyone, I can’t see how my presence right now could possibly be a good thing… so I might end up in my bubble for a while. 😐 If anything significant happens though, good or bad, I’ll make sure I at least make a small post – just to keep the people who still care in the loop. Try not to worry about me though. Whatever happens next is all out of our hands.

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Doing The Things

Haven’t had the energy to spend much time online the past week or so… gettin’ shit done, as required. Saw my primary care provider, saw specialist for my back, got labs done for my PCP, got scans done for the back specialist, then did my normal workers comp deal yesterday. Also went to the dentist’s office and scheduled what is technically the third part of a four part plan that started like a year ago… but with the cancer scare, Mom stuff, etc… it kinda got put on the back burner. But that appointment is now made as well.

Next couple of things I’m hoping to do today or tomorrow is making an eye appointment for some new glasses, taking some pics of my semi-broken HVAC unit outside and making a couple calls about getting the AC compressor replaced, and then I need to figure out what I want to have done outside regarding all the growing shit – and touch base with my lawn guy so we can get this spring and summer’s plan in action soon,

Bri is also super duper pregnant… I think she’s approaching 36 weeks here in a few days… so I’ll probably be taking her to one of her OB appointments, plus she’s been on the ball as well and will soon be moving into her first apartment – so I’m making available some different furniture from here in the house if she needs some stuff to fill her new place until she’s able or decides to get what she really wants. So yeah, it’s just been mostly mentally busy – and when my brain isn’t doing that type of processing, it’s preferred to have been doing none.

Had to be in Columbus the other day and caught my first crash on the dashcam. I’m lucky that I wasn’t just one car in front of where I was, because whatever happened to this d00d – he ended up slamming into an old lady and nearly pushing her car into the intersection. All from a dead stop, while appearing to have his foot on the brake the entire time. I saw them get out and they were both fine, and there’s no ambiguity when it comes to fault, so I didn’t stick around… plus I had somewhere I needed to be anyway.

Sometime today I’ve also gotta get into my e-mail and messages… Aunt Sharon and Dad are probably both waiting to hear from me about some things, and I’m still working on getting my brain to get used to using e-mail again.