I’mma Ramble For A Min

I don’t know if I’m going to have to deal with that nonsense every thirty days, but at least yesterday I was finally able to get the situation resolved. πŸ˜’ Everything ended up getting approved and paid for (after I got a refund for what I paid the day before) by the workers comp insurance. Everyone that I spoke to on the phone was super nice and helpful, which was almost disappointing – since I was really needing to shout at some people by that point. 😐 But yeah, it’s all settled for this month…

Now I’m sitting here in the house, living room floor covered with cat hair, wondering when my new vacuum cleaner is finally going to ship from Amazon. 🀨 I got it as part of a Black Friday / Cyber Monday/Week sale, but it wasn’t in stock at the moment and was advertised that it would ship in about a week. (It’s been about a week.) Meh… at least I don’t have any company coming over to see my furry carpet. πŸ™„

Outside, nothing has changed. It’s cold now, so stuff has stopped growing, but I never did get around to hiring someone to trim back all the hedges and other shit around the yard. πŸ™ It doesn’t look that bad, but it stays in the back of my mind that it needs tended to. πŸ˜’ That’ll probably be a “spring thing” to deal with before the lawn even requires mowing for the first time.

This house. I really don’t know what I want to do about it. It’s way too much house for one person, but it’s never been lived in by anyone other than a Batina. Grandparents, Dad, Aunt C, and now me. 😳 Lots of memories here, both good and bad… and it will/would be hard to not feel a little bit guilty about selling it and moving somewhere else. 😟 It shouldn’t be that way, but you know me – and how much memories / history / nostalgia / etc plays into my life. Plus, it’s the last thing that acts as “established Batina history/presence” and man would it feel weird to not have it around anymore to keep me feeling connected to my past. Hard to explain… but anyway…

Thankfully, now that I have all of my required meds in my system I’m feeling pretty good. Neck is still feeling more funky than it has in a long time, but I’m trying not to complain. I’m still waiting to see if the MRI is approved… and I’m hoping that if it’s not, that maybe I can use my Medicare insurance to cover most of it. Because I’m not doing it just to do it… something feels different, not good, and it’s making me a bit anxious. 😬 It’s been a decade since my cervical fusion surgery, so I don’t think it’s that far fetched to think that things may have changed in there since then.

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I’m Still Here

Let’s see if I remember how to do this. (I know I’ve said this before, but…) I feel like I might be starting to crawl out of this incredibly crappy funk that I’ve been in for what feels like forever. Main influence this time is my damn neck and shoulders. Stuff has been hurting at pre-surgery levels, which would be enough, I think, to make anyone concerned – considering the location and nature of my original injury. I had my first visit with my doctor in a while, where I was actually dying before, during, and after my appointment.

I didn’t have a chance to tell him, since it happened after my appointment… but on my way to check out I had one of those *ZAP* moments in my neck, and then walking out through the waiting room I had another one – bad enough that it stopped me in my tracks as I fought to not throw up. 😳 Good times, eh? 😟 I’m going to ask for some sort of updated scan of that area at my next visit, especially since I’m right in the middle of preparing to either settle my claim or go to court over it, and whether for my own well-being or for my case – updated info would obviously be a good idea.

Enough of that. πŸ˜’ Toni gets credit for getting me up, around, and doing something this time. She only gave me a couple hours notice, which normally would have gotten an instant “no” response, but she was asking if I wanted to come join her, Wendi, and Anna at the “Freedom’s Never Free” thing at the fairgrounds. Specifically, for the ceremony where they place the flags – since Uncle Rick has had one for a couple years now, and this year they got one for Grandpa Shepherd as well. I’m glad I went, but I was also glad to get back home since my doc appointment was the next day. Hell, it could have been the stress of unexpected “human-ing” the day before that allowed Dr Walter to see how bad I can get. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

Okay, that’s about all I’ve got today… pics from the ceremony are up in my Flickr.

Just Keep Swimming

Had my 30-day appointment with my neck doctor today, ran into Amy in the parking lot, and was in and out of there pretty quickly. He and I discussed our different concert experiences, and I showed him a video of the recent Skillet concert so he could understand why I’d be understandably dying afterwards and for the next few days. 😏 He doesn’t know Skillet, but he did mention seeing Aerosmith at Polaris so at least he gets it.

I had to wait several hours to pick up my prescription today though, because I insisted that the workers comp insurer pay for it like they are supposed to. 😐 I’ve been paying cash for many months now… 1) because it really isn’t that much, and 2) for some reason whenever they ran it through the insurance it would always require a pre-authorization that would never go through. Meh… I actually don’t understand that whole process, I just know it can be a pain in the ass. πŸ˜’

My workers comp lawyers are busy doing their thing, and I’m hoping they can come up with a decent settlement so I don’t end up having to go through the court proceedings. 😬 Not just because it will be yet another pain in my ass, but because I’m worried that it will affect my travel plans. Cassi has never been on a plane, so I waited for a “90% off” sale and managed to get two round-trip tickets to Orlando for a hundred bucks. 😯

It’s not a vacation… basically we’re just taking a ride. Flying down there in the morning (in the dark, giddyup), kicking it around the terminal for a while, and then flying back that afternoon. I know that probably sounds pointless to a lot of people, but I like doing “new stuff” with/for people that I care about… so I’m hoping that Cassi’s new job and my court stuff don’t end up effing up that little day trip. 🀞🏻

Wait, How Much?

The other day I did some investigating in regards to the monthly cost of the various medications that I’m prescribed, for the injury/disability that is currently covered by my workers comp claim. It’s been quite a while since I’ve given it much thought, but man… now that I see the numbers… damn. 😧 These are the prices that I would pay if I had no insurance, and was paying for my prescriptions with cash.

  • Medication #1” – Brand Name: $284.99 / Generic: $73.59
  • Medication #2” – Brand Name: $1314.99 / Generic: $535.99
  • Medication #3” – Brand Name: $996.99 / Generic: (N/A)

So with those figures… add in the monthly office appointments, the potential tests or procedures that I might need to have in the future… and you can see how I’d be a bigger financial burden to my WC insurer than one might originally think. (And it sure makes these settlement negotiations feel a whole lot more significant to my future.)

“Wake Up, Case 1485729-4”

Fell asleep around dawn and then was awoken by a phone call from one of my attorneys a few hours later. πŸ˜’ We’ve got quite a bit of outstanding issues right now, and after the long weekend I could almost feel this call coming… so much so that I didn’t turn my ringer off, since I did need to talk to him.

This entry might as well be titled “What Else Is Wrong?” since, in part, it’s essentially going to be a sequel to my most recent post. As you may or may not know, I try to keep my online presence as free as possible from a) bitching about my pain/disability, and b) talking about specifics of my workers comp case. Partially out of pride, partially because nobody really wants to hear about it anyway.

I’m not sure I even remember what I used to be like before all of this dominated my life. I know it’s not pleasant now, to put it extremely mildly, and I know it’s a constant pain in the ass… so even though it’s hard to remember, I do miss the time when my life was my own and I wasn’t being led by the nose through by doctor visits, IC hearings, physical disability, medication requirements, mental stress, pharmacy policies, insurance companies, and now actual an actual court case. 😞

I’m just frustrated because we’re less than two months away from the court stuff starting and so far the settlement stuff is going nowhere. πŸ˜• Their side will submit their brief to the court, my side will have a few weeks to reply, and then it starts getting serious. The court will likely want to depose any doctors that have seen or treated me, on both sides, which means I’d have to hope that I could essentially “rent” my doctor for half a day to give testimony – which would be ridiculously expensive. 😣 (Not to mention ridiculously annoying since he’s already submitted report, after report, after report, in writing.)

So my attorney is going to find out how much they’ve paid each year, on average, for my treatment and medication – and then tomorrow or the next day, when I go to the pharmacy to pick up this month’s meds, I’m going to have them print out what the “out of pocket” cost would be for each medication if I was paying for them with no insurance at all. πŸ€“ With those figures we’ll again try to come up with what we believe is a fair settlement, and then they’ll have to decide if the continuing costs of fighting me are worth it – rather than just settling this and making me go away.

I’m just worried that we won’t be able to get this done before the date of the first hearing. I’m sure it’ll be (us) “Here’s our offer.” followed by (them) “Well, that’s nice, but this is what we’re willing to pay.” followed by (us) “C’mon, get out of here… we need at least (this much)” and then (them) “We’re gonna have to think on this.” with (us) “Well we’re gonna have to think on this too.” Heh… so I don’t know what the odds are of avoiding this court case at this point, but I’d think they are slim.

Zero Hour

This weekend ended up being exactly what I needed it to be. 😌 I also realized that in addition to just enjoying the company that I was with, having a human in my immediate proximity went a long way towards keeping my brain from getting stuck in the “on” position like it almost always does. (Much like how you have to jiggle the toilet handle just the right way to keep the water pump from running for hours and burning itself out. 😏)Β Now my company has gone, the weekend is coming to an end… but there’s still a new Rick and Morty episode tonight along with the season finale of Game of Thrones, so that provides one last little bit of goody before it’s back to normal tomorrow.

The currentΒ “you’ll hear from us” state of both of my attorney-led endeavors has got me feeling a bit restless again, so the first thing I’m going to do tomorrow is give those folks a call. I’m not sure that any prodding from me will make either of those situations move any more quickly, but at least I’ll feel like I’m trying to do something about it.

Another thing that I was reminded of this weekend is how nice it can be when I’m not perpetually absorbing the news of the day. It’s difficult for me to consciously avoid the news. I want to stay informed. I want to stay outraged at the things one should be outraged against. But much like the way I swore off of HLN years ago after shows like Dr Drew and Nancy Grace started to make me a little bit crazy… heh… I should really consider limiting my consumption of political news, even from the shows which present it from a point of view that is often similar to my own. (This topic is honestly worthy of it’s own multi-paragraph entry here. πŸ€” Perhaps soon.)

Other information briefs: Christina handled her first chemo treatment like a champ, but today she cut her hair quite short in anticipation of the eventual hair loss. Jim’s mom is still putting up a fight against her cancer, but the probability of recovery at this point is not good. πŸ˜” And then my friend Rick Kitzmiller… he’s got a lot of support, but complications during chemotherapy are starting to put his recovery at risk as well. 😟 “I’m just treading water.” is the way he most recently described it to friends via a Facebook post.

Obviously, I’ve also got other friends and family who are facing their own flavors of health problems (as am I) so it’s not that I’m not thinking about them and praying for them too… it’s just that cancer has a way of getting a bigger collective gasp, and those afflicted with it tend to stay near the front of your mind whether it’s fair or not. It’s just all incredibly sad, and in those times when I’m not thinking about it or talking about it, I just have to totally push it out of my mind or risk drowning in my thoughts.

 

Another Week In The Books

Took care of quite a few things this week, but of course as usual – what happens now isn’t really anything that I can control. πŸ˜’ But as far as I know, and until I hear back from all the concerned attorneys, I believe I’ve done everything required for my aunt’s estate to be officially closed out and with the workers comp stuff… well, it’s just gonna do whatever it does. I’m basically a passenger again at this point.

Getting more done on those two fronts has given me a small boost in spirit. I’ve gotta be careful not to screw it up, but I’ve got some motivation now to start tackling the trimming of all the bushes around my house. Reminder, it’s not that it just requires motivation to wanna get out there and clip an obscene amount of bushes, it’s that it will probably hurt and the trimming of the top portion is actually physically impossible for me.

But my change in thinking about the process – I’m gonna trim all the vertical surfaces that I can, as I can, since there’s no rush or deadline… and then I’ve got Cassi coming to take care of the tops for me. (Or at least that’s the current plan.) So I’m feeling a little more upbeat just thanks to that. And yeah, I could vet and hire some d00ds to do it for me, but just having the feeling return to me, that I may actually be able to handle it myself (with help), makes it something that I’d rather try before shelling out even more money for landscaping tasks. It’s frustrating though, sitting in this house, looking out the picture window, and always being reminded of the things that the property needs that I can’t do. 😟 I gotta figure out what to do with that emotion.